You wake up in a daze in the middle of the night. You're in your bed, but something's... different.
Your cat, Mr. Snuffles, is gone.
Jumping out of bed, you see a trail of ginger cat hair leading out of your room. You follow it into the kitchen, and up onto the counter, where to your horror it abruptly ends at an open window.
Suddenly, you notice a note next to the trail, scratched in messy handwriting. You pick it up...
February 24th, 1970
Lamina polygamma agonizes kiwi lights tensile thermometer yolks tethered huddles hearthstone alveolars incompleteness cling telephony approachability egoists fields redemptive psychometric boffo observably creeping tieback separatists stationmaster.
You'll pulsation rotisserie funiculars tread shucking overdressed sweetest intend probabilities weatherperson hyperactive rewash interfile inconveniencing natch emeralds wrongheaded insubordinate overcapitalizes clonks dispossessing tendon wickedly tacked enjoyable.
Atomicity dahlia equivalential offstages maintainable napalmed paid solute wiretap portability sarcophagi defamers atonality unhorse aurally Sterne thimbling thirstiest twiddling evince lasts slicks misshaping heliosphere tori lawful.
Wolves five polynomials lumbago Agricola blue-collar indentures adjudication energetic yesterday modularizing goulash imperil unifiable lay overreach ruggedness partials moroseness fierce followers expediently ascertaining motherly overbites Ignacio drowse.
Yzh hxvy'x hd lsmw. Lw omh!
Lcc ecv dlsdl xi hdoy jsg nzmgxfr qc doy stxftsr
Gyi wiwa, rsi efgl, qme mx hsth icgfkl
Kzqiiaxiw X khieg ae jitdd pmzw elmh ozvvn ad qc dfwc jgaprh
Adr'x pfjsrt lccmc' lz jmcv xi?
Ae wxpjew axls pskw lrh tfow axls csjj yeqt
...and it makes absolutely no sense. It's 2018, not 1970! What are all these weird words and unintelligible language? And what does any of this have to do with Michael Jackson?
But, stern in your undying love for your cat, you decide to figure it out.
Why did Mr. Snuffles leave and where did he go?