20
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Downvote my answer - there'll be hell to pay.
Close my question - you'll need some helping hands.
For an upvote on my answer, I'll get loot.
You cannot vote on posts unless you have a permit.
Just remember, you'll need a sword if it's protected.

Do exactly as I say and you will find the answer.
Commence from what I will permit; take your loot
From there all the way to the power of hell; then,
You add some more - I don't care what - and lastly,
Just take it all off my sword! I need to swing it!

Declare now what you've got -
Check your answer properly,
For if it isn't quite correct,
You won't get a tick from me.
Joy you'll have for the one true answer.

$\endgroup$
  • 4
    $\begingroup$ Disclaimer: no threats are intended towards anyone who downvotes me etc. - it's all part of the puzzle. $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Nov 22 '16 at 19:19
  • $\begingroup$ Not a riddle then? $\endgroup$ – Beastly Gerbil Nov 22 '16 at 19:20
  • $\begingroup$ @BeastlyGerbil There are other tags which could apply to this; I deliberately tagged it only enigmatic-puzzle because I don't want to give away too much about the method of solution. $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Nov 22 '16 at 19:21
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    $\begingroup$ My name is dcfyj, and I approve of this message. $\endgroup$ – dcfyj Nov 22 '16 at 20:03
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @dcfyj I approve of your name. $\endgroup$ – Manoj Kumar Nov 22 '16 at 20:54
23
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First, if you upvote this answer please also go upvote @Sconibulus for seeing how this one works. Also thanks to @ffao for figuring out what "some" is.

The answer is

1
Hence, the "Joy you'll have for the one true answer."

Here's how it works:

The puzzle is based on math using reputation awards and requirements for Puzzling SE.

Specifically,

"Hell" = 1   because "Downvote my answer - there'll be hell to pay."
          Downvotes cost you 1 rep.
"Some" = 4   because "Close my question - you'll need some helping hands."
          You need 4 others to close a question. (@ffao)
"Loot" = 10   because "For an upvote on my answer, I'll get loot."
          Upvoted answers earn +10 rep.
"Permit" = 15  because "You cannot vote on posts unless you have a permit."
          You cannot vote until you have 15 rep.
"Sword" = 10   because "Just remember, you'll need a sword if it's protected."
          You need 10 rep to answer a protected question.

Now, "Do exactly as I say and you will find the answer."

"add" and "power" have obvious meanings; "take" means subtract.
Following the instructions in the remaining lines gives:

Commence from what I will permit ( $\mathbf{15}$ ); take your loot ( $15 \mathbf{- 10}$ )
From there all the way to the power of hell ( $\mathbf{(}15 - 10\mathbf{)^1}$ ); then,
You add some more ( $(15 - 10)^1 \mathbf{+ 4}$ ) - I don't care what - and lastly,
Just take it all off my sword! I need to swing it! ( $\mathbf{10 - (}(15 - 10)^1 + 4\mathbf{)}$ )

Solving the riddle thus gives

1.

$\endgroup$
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    $\begingroup$ Damn, this is perfect. / Correct answer, beautifully laid out. / Fail this website you have not. / You'll get a green tick for this, / Just as soon as I get round to awarding it. $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Nov 22 '16 at 20:56
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    $\begingroup$ Eh, you took Sconibulus' posted answer and my value for some, and made a new post? I don't know if I approve this answer... $\endgroup$ – ffao Nov 22 '16 at 22:54
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    $\begingroup$ @ffao Sconibulus did. We discussed it in Sphinx Lair. I was going to let him edit his to include the answer I found, but the consensus was I should post it. $\endgroup$ – Rubio Nov 22 '16 at 22:55
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    $\begingroup$ Well, if he's okay with it then I am too. $\endgroup$ – ffao Nov 22 '16 at 22:58
24
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I believe this is

Math based on reputation amounts...

Downvote my answer - there'll be hell to pay.

Hell = 1 (-1?): cost of downvoting an answer

Close my question - you'll need some helping hands.

Thanks @ffao: Some = 4 Hands = 5 : number of additional non-hammer close votes required to close

For an upvote on my answer, I'll get loot.

Loot = 10: +10 rep for an answer upvote

You cannot vote on posts unless you have a permit.

Permit = 15? Depends on the vote type 15 is upvote, which is the minimum

Just remember, you'll need a sword if it's protected.

Sword = 10 : 10 rep to answer a protected question

Do exactly as I say and you will find the answer. Commence from what I will permit; take your loot

Permit = 15, take Loot which is 10, 15-10=5

From there all the way to the power of hell; then,

5^-1 = 1/5 Thanks @ffao for putting these steps together with the correct Some definition

You add some more - I don't care what - and lastly,

Some = 4: 1/5 + 4 = 4.2

Just take it all off my sword! I need to swing it!

Implies we're on top of the sword right now, so we multiply by sword (10) to get it off the bottom. We're left with 42

So the answer you're looking for is

The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything... now I wonder what the question is...

$\endgroup$
  • $\begingroup$ Delightful to see you doing so well! / Closer to the answer than Beastly. / For full marks now, solve one clue better. / You're almost there, I will say that; / Just a little further effort needed. $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Nov 22 '16 at 19:43
  • $\begingroup$ $5^{-1}=0.2$ or $\frac{1}{5}$ $\endgroup$ – boboquack Nov 22 '16 at 20:08
  • $\begingroup$ such a clever answer. I like this interpretation better. $\endgroup$ – The Great Duck Nov 23 '16 at 5:39
4
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I think

This is basically describing how the site works.

Downvote my answer - there'll be hell to pay.

I lose 2 rep, you lose 1 rep.

Close my question - you'll need some helping hands.

Requires 5 people

For an upvote on my answer, I'll get loot.

+10 rep.

You cannot vote on posts unless you have a permit.

You need to earn privileges. 15 rep for upvotes, 125 rep for downvotes.

Just remember, you'll need a sword if it's protected.

Only high rep users can do certain things - you need 15k rep to protect.

Do exactly as I say and you will find the answer.

I hope I have

Commence from what I will permit; take your loot

I hope to take loot or rep

From there all the way to the power of hell; then,

Not sure

You add some more - I don't care what - and lastly,

(Thanks @dcfyj!) Bounties can be from 50 to 500 rep.

Just take it all off my sword! I need to swing it!

Not sure

Declare now what you've got -
Check your answer properly,
For if it isn't quite correct,
You won't get a tick from me.

If this is wrong it won't be marked as correct.

Joy you'll have for the one true answer.

You answer correctly and are now euphoric until the end of time...

$\endgroup$
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ I think the "add some more" bit might be referring to bounties $\endgroup$ – dcfyj Nov 22 '16 at 19:37
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Downvote this answer I will not, / Correct, however, it is not. / For it's nowhere near precise enough: / You need to read more closely than this, / Just describing the site isn't all I've done. $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Nov 22 '16 at 19:38

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