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My name is Beret K. (I think?)

I am normally the one with all the answers, except for right now.

I used to get sung this lullaby and I don't really know why.

Can you help me make sense of what all this riffing means or who I really am?

Chris Griffin entered Fayetteville, Georgia creatively. Griffin, got chariots geographically calculated, efficiently down cavernous, blackened awakes. Abandoned, gigantic chasm grottos eroded fiercely. Griffin crawled grudgingly, craftily, and gallantly fell exploring deep caves.

Hint #1

The first letter of each word of the paragraph coincides with a music note.

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    $\begingroup$ It looks to me like (rot13) gur svefg yrggref ner fhccbfrq gb or zhfvpny abgrf, ohg V qba'g xabj gur fbat gung pbzrf sebz guvf. (Vg'f zhpu uneqre jvgu ab erfgf, bpgnirf, be yratguf vaqvpngrq.) $\endgroup$
    – Deusovi
    Commented Jul 6, 2020 at 17:34
  • $\begingroup$ @Deusovi Lbh qrsvavgryl unir gur pbeerpg zvaqfrg. Guvf jnf bar bs gur svefg fbatf V yrnearq ba gur cvnab. Vg vf abg pbzcyrk ng nyy, fb V gubhtug vg jnf fvzcyr rabhtu gb yrnir vg nf vf! :) $\endgroup$
    – Crozier
    Commented Jul 6, 2020 at 17:49
  • $\begingroup$ Is it somehow related to rot 13(Trbetr Syblq)?? $\endgroup$
    – Dreopa
    Commented Jul 7, 2020 at 2:20
  • $\begingroup$ Nope, look at @Deusovi comment, he was on the right track. $\endgroup$
    – Crozier
    Commented Jul 7, 2020 at 23:48

2 Answers 2

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Your name is:

Alex Trebek, the host of the TV gameshow Jeopardy! (Note that 'Beret K' is an anagram of 'Trebek'...) You are 'normally the one with all the answers', since on Jeopardy! the challenge is for the contestants to identify the original question when provided with the answer by the host.

The paragraph can be interpreted as representing:

A series of musical notes, if you take the starting letter of each word (I had sussed this around the same time as @Deusovi's comment and before the hint, although it has taken me some time to parse the notes into a recognisable tune). It perhaps makes the most sense to space them as follows:

CGEF GCG GCGCE DCBAA GCG EFGCG CAGFEDC

Then if you listen to this, you will recognise it as...

the theme tune to Jeopardy! No wonder it's stuck in your head - you must have had it 'sung to you' thousands of times while recording the show!

PS It is worth noting a few other Easter eggs hidden by the OP (prompted by comments below):

- The name of the Jeopardy! theme tune is 'Think!'. The OP used the word 'think' within the puzzle itself, at the end of the very first line.

- The creator and producer of Jeopardy! was Merv Griffin - the use of 'Griffin' throughout the puzzle paragraph was a referential nod towards him.

- Griffin also composed the theme tune in question, and originally as a lullaby for his son, Tony. Since then it has gone through several re-workings over the years, although the original melody remains largely unchanged.

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    $\begingroup$ You are correct! I also put in clues, such as the song title, "Think", which was actually written as a lullaby by Merv Griffin. Great job! :D $\endgroup$
    – Crozier
    Commented Jul 9, 2020 at 21:56
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    $\begingroup$ @Crozier Ah, I never knew its name - or its origin. Nice :) $\endgroup$
    – Stiv
    Commented Jul 9, 2020 at 21:57
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I think that you are

Che Guevara

Some of these seem like a stretch, but some seem to be explained:

The beret refers to Che's famous beret. The K is maybe referring to Klaus Barbie, the man who supposedly orchestrated his capture? Or Knight since he received honors as a knight grand cross from Brazil and Czech? That one seems like a stretch. The repetition of letters that start with letters a-g are pointing to his name. He was headquartered in a cave, but traveled throughout South America, craftily and gallantly. He fell exploring the deep caves of corruption and capitalism.

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  • $\begingroup$ Very creative guess, but I am afraid you are incorrect! :) $\endgroup$
    – Crozier
    Commented Jul 6, 2020 at 17:50

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