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What am I?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

And I will say, picture responses are preferred! And folks, this is my first question ever in this forum. thx!

Edit: Apparently this one needed some revisions. I really had trouble with my original title. I probably shouldn't have added the "It really sucks that I need to add 15 characters up here..." comment. Apologies if anyone is offended.

Post solve note.

Wow, I was very surprised that this puzzle took so long to solve. It got a whole lot of views.

  • I realize (with perfect hindsight) some of those hints were pretty lame;
  • Some of the better hints that I added on later, I should have offered up in the initial problem statement. (e.g. I've got to contain myself, but I'm just not reserved enough for that.)
  • In my defense, this was my first time posting a puzzle on this site.
  • And I've learned a whole bunch of what not to do next time.
  • Much as you want to, you are not allowed to solve your own puzzle.
  • Leaving additional hints in individual comments is not a good practice. That just gets ugly fast.
  • Best to create a complete set of hints, list them in original puzzle, and leave it be.
  • I also learned if you want to leave a good hint in the title, be careful of the words you use. The edit police are out there. (sigh.)

At any rate, thank you to all that participated.

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  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Protected? Huh? without a doubt the best answers on this question so far have come from the site virgins! Mumble, mumble, Gosh that sucks! It really does. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 16:17
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ @zipzit can you put all of the hints in the question? It's difficult to find the references you're making in the comments with all of these answers $\endgroup$
    – computhomas
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 17:53
  • 4
    $\begingroup$ I would definitely suggest putting hints in the Question since comments can be deleted for any reason and at any moment. $\endgroup$
    – user20363
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 22:05
  • 13
    $\begingroup$ It probably took so long to solve because most people have never heard of it. $\endgroup$
    – OrangeDog
    Commented Jun 9, 2016 at 8:35
  • 3
    $\begingroup$ (1) As Alconja said in a comment, a bigger v_____ won’t hold any less than a small one.  (2) I see that you made an attempt to explain the “comfy” clue in a comment on the accepted answer, but it still seems pretty (unreasonably) cryptic to me.  (3) What do “bold” and “nobody gives a squat” really have to do with your riddle?  (4) What, exactly, is the deal with asking for a picture?  (5) This riddle should probably have had the [knowledge] tag, since it’s impossible to figure out the answer — you need to either know it or do a lot of research to find it. $\endgroup$
    – Peregrine Rook
    Commented Jun 14, 2016 at 3:10

26 Answers 26

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12
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Is it a:

A plastic vacuum reservoir in an automobile?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

A bigger vacuum has less stuff in it.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

They're used to power/control automotive parts and accessories.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

They're not in as common use as they once were.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

Some of the components that they can be used for include brakes, door locks, and ventilation systems, giving people reason to wail.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Mercedes are well-known for these systems.

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16
  • $\begingroup$ You are essentially there. Last hint. "I shouldn't be so sarcastic.. I'm only made of plastic." Quick trip to the store, minor edit to your answer and we're in. And a picture would be awesome, for that well rounded answer. and one reminder. There are no vacuum pumps on a car. Oh, there is vacuum, just no pump. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 23:13
  • $\begingroup$ Plastic vacuum tube? $\endgroup$
    – John
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 23:19
  • $\begingroup$ Google is your buddy. Google Image is really your buddy. Remember that title hint is 'the larger i am, the less I hold'. Look at the comment I made to you just a few minutes ago? Read those sentences again. twice more. In fact read it out loud. I will say, I've got to contain myself, but I'm just not reserved enough for that. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 23:26
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Plastic vacuum reservoir! $\endgroup$
    – John
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 23:29
  • 12
    $\begingroup$ @zipzit ...but won't a bigger vacuum reservoir still hold more (assuming it's imperfect), or at worst the same (zero if it's a perfect vacuum)? $\endgroup$
    – Alconja
    Commented Jun 9, 2016 at 2:21
21
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Hope I get the spoilers right I think it is:

a map.

The bigger I am, the less I will hold.

Map scale. Same (physical) size maps hold less if an area is displayed "larger"

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Trips farther away are more likely to require a map.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

GPS, SatNav etc.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

This one makes me somewhat uncertain as it's usually not the map that fails, but its user.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Again uncertain, as in my interpretation it's pretty much the same with the line about nobody giving a squat.

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  • 5
    $\begingroup$ That's a clever interpretation of the bigger I am the less I will hold. But no, its not a map. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:02
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Also if a map "fails" (outdated, missing roads or roads that have since been removed), the traveler gets lost, invoking wailing :) $\endgroup$
    – Doktor J
    Commented Jul 6, 2018 at 17:31
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Preserving original answer below, as I liked it :)

Are you

A Polaroid Camera

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

Older cameras larger, clunkier, hold less film, also "holds less" image information due to lower image quality

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

VERY popular for trips, especially in the eighties before the advent of camcorders and digital photography.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

When was the last time you saw one? Digital photography has relegated it to history.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

A failed picture doesn't develop properly, usually being completely washed out.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

The things were everywhere back then.

picture responses are preferred

It takes pictures!

Original answer:

Off the wall guess: Cassette tape. 8-tracks were larger, but held less music. Cassette players used to be standard on most cars. Long since replaced by CDs and then by mp3s. Ever see a cassette get fouled? Immediate freak out, followed by a few irritating minutes with a pencil trying to spool it all back up. Cassettes were how you listen to music in the eighties. Vinyl wasn't as common, CDs hadn't happened yet. That's not even mentioning Ye Olde Mixe Tape.

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  • $\begingroup$ You've got the timing exactly right. But no, that's not it. And I like the 8 track to cassette comparison for sizing, but Sorry, its a no... Good guess though. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 13:40
  • $\begingroup$ No go on Polaroid camera either. Sorry. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:44
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Carburetor

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

Carburetors let air into the engine. Bigger ones let more air in. Holding less back.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

They warm up for a while after the vehicle starts.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

They were replaced with fuel injection

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

No air, no motion. A non-motive automobile should make its owner cry.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

These were still popular in the eighties. Especially on cheaper and more heavy-duty vehicles.

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2
  • $\begingroup$ Hmmm. No, but you are definitely on the right track . The who or what I'm looking for is not a carburetor. This solution is certainly something I'd keep close. Thanks for suggesting it. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 16:43
  • $\begingroup$ If I think I get the answer based on this answer, should I just say it here in the comment or post another answer? $\endgroup$
    – user24914
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 23:03
8
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I know:

It is a penis.

  1. The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

Bigger may seem bolder but why would you want such a big thing if it does not hold? The author might also be referring to his own ... boldness to come up with such a riddle.

  1. I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Yeah.

  1. I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

The poor thing is unattended.

  1. It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

It can fail and hurt in different ways. If it near misses the right hole you'll surely hear wailing.

  1. I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

This part and no. 3 make me think that it may be not just any penis, but one that has seen better times, Mercedes being the girl or the car where it was happy.

And I will say, picture responses are preferred!

Naughty!!

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    $\begingroup$ Definitely no. Just no. Nooooo. Nope, nada. No. Funny, but no. And thank you for not providing pictures. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:32
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Thanks to you. Nice riddle! I'm intrigued. Hope the right answer makes more sense than mine. Otherwise I'll be disappointed. $\endgroup$
    – Citizen K
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 16:07
  • 3
    $\begingroup$ Although a pretty inappropriate answer, I couldn't help rofling at some of the arguments, especially 3, 4 and the remark about the picture. xD And I also agree with @zipzit "no. And thank you for not providing pictures." $\endgroup$
    – Kevin Cruijssen
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 18:20
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Loved it!!!! Deserves more votes $\endgroup$
    – Luis Masuelli
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:46
7
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My guess:

Camcorder

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

Camcorders used to be huge, but wouldn't hold much time.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Camcorders were used a lot on road trips. At least in my family!

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Do camcorders even exist still? With everyone having a smartphone, I doubt anyone carries a camcorder around anymore.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

All your memories from your trip are gone 'cause you forgot to push record!

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

My family used it all the time in the 80s on road trips

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4
  • $\begingroup$ Wow. I'm really liking the answers from the first timers. You are the first person to remotely get the concept of the It's clear when I fail... hint. And I will say of all the hints I gave that one was the most obtuse. You would almost have to be a lawyer to understand that hint. But, Alas, No, its not a camcorder. Welcome to Puzzling.stackexchange. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:16
  • $\begingroup$ Thought about becoming a lawyer lol, but alas I'm a Full Stack Developer :) $\endgroup$
    – Rebecca Whitlock
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:26
  • $\begingroup$ Awesome! Well than hey, another of the hints is right up your alley! (and that's all I'm saying!!!) Nobody else has gotten close to it... all yours Rebecca! $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:29
  • $\begingroup$ Perhaps another hint is due? Looks like we're all stumped so far. $\endgroup$
    – Rebecca Whitlock
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 17:13
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Could it be a

enter image description here Vintage Garfield plush car suction cup toy?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

A bigger one is heavier and won't hold onto the window so easily.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Cats love sleeping. Though I don't know how many like car rides.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

I haven't seen one of these in a long time.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

When he falls, you'll finally be able to see out the window.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

These were popular in the 80's. http://80sactual.blogspot.com/2014/12/christmas-presents-1980s-style-2.html

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  • $\begingroup$ Er... No. That's not it $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:18
  • $\begingroup$ Haha, that's amazing :D $\endgroup$
    – nicael
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:19
  • $\begingroup$ I do love the suction cup, though. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:32
5
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Big hair of the eighties

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

The bigger it gets the more likely it will not stand up

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Everyone lets their hair down in the car

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Very few people have big hair nowadays

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

When it falls into your eyes you cannot see anything

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

All the rich woman of the eighties had big hair and a mercedes

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1
  • $\begingroup$ Wow, Brian from State Farm, that is really thinking out side of the box. I like that answer. Its not what I'm looking for, but yeah, its a great answer! $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 14:21
5
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Chrysler

The bigger I am...

Traditionally the smallest of the big 3 US automakers, it became number 2 in 2007 by passing Ford, thereby becoming bigger than ever. However in 2006 Chrysler reported losses of $1.5 billion, meaning that even as the company became bigger, it held less (cash)

I get comfy...

Chrysler is a car company

Used to get used ...

Chrysler used to be a popular car company but has declined in popularity in recent years, hence its bankruptcy filings in 2009

It's clear that when I fail...

The 2009 auto industry bailout, which Chrysler benefitted from, caused many people to wail

I was popular...

Chrysler had financial problems in the 70s, but was steered back to profitability in the 80s by becoming a popular car brand. Chrysler was purchased by Daimler in 1998 to create DaimlerChrysler, a company which owned the Mercedes brand. Daimler sold off Chrysler in 2007, causing Chrysler to now miss Mercedes since it is a separate company

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  • $\begingroup$ Yowza. I really like this answer. Its NOT what I'm looking for. But it is clever. And I will say FCAU (the stock market symbol for Fiat/Chrysler) is on my buy list, but no, its not Chrysler. It definitely meets the bigger holds less criteria. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 22:16
4
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Are you

an ashtray in a car?
enter image description here

Reasoning:

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

the bigger the ashtray, the easier it is for ash to accidentally leave the tray and cause a mess

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

many people smoke on long trips so they can relax.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

People are smoking less and less, and throw their ashes through the window if they do.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

Smokers complain when the car doesn't have an ashtray. Can also be related to ashes filling the air during a bumpy ride and people coughing from that.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Ashtrays in cars suddenly disappeared in the 80s and 90s, according to some to help people stop smoking.

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  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Ashtray? No. Interesting guess. Definitely no. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 13:23
4
$\begingroup$

A car potty? Er, potty car? A potty in a car? There's bound to be some sort of slang term for these things... carpotty

I can't make the clues fit as well as I'd like, but I do suspect the trend of answers that relate to a real vehicle aren't on the right track. Besides, the possibility nags at me.

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

I can't figure out the capacity thing, but holding a backside - or the, um, output of one - is pretty bold. Arguably a full-sized car has less capacity for the latter, though.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Things could indeed perhaps get quite, um, warm inside one of these things.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

One would often squat on a potty - once upon a time.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

A reference to a different kind of accident, perhaps - and infants are more known for their cries than regular drivers are.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

I can't pretend I've kept up on potty trends over the last thirty years or so, but certain toys do tend to fall in and out of fashion.

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  • 2
    $\begingroup$ I love it. It's simply wrong, but I like it. Indeed, the bigger it is, the less I will hold. I hope that doesn't take the air out of your sails. Apologies... Cute answer though. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 14:45
4
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Are you

A bladder?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

As a bladder gets bigger, it's already full, and you just can't hold it any longer.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

A comfy bladder is a key part of any long-distance drive.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

I peed before I left, but now am holding it (and not squatting to pee)

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

Wetting one's pants can lead to wails of anguish and/or hilarity

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

???

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  • $\begingroup$ What, you don't remember the big pants-wetting fad of the eighties? Ah, memories.... $\endgroup$
    – Irishpanda
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 17:21
  • 4
    $\begingroup$ @Irishpanda The 80s were definitely the height of my personal pants-wetting. $\endgroup$
    – Dan Russell
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 17:22
  • $\begingroup$ Ah. Wetting one's pants can lead to wails of anguish and/or hilarity I remember this time in third grade once, and it wasn't funny, not one bit. And that just leaves me cold. But no, its not a bladder. hmmm... and with that response from me I'm hoping things warm up a little around here. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 17:51
4
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Is it

legroom?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

You sacrifice trunk space for legroom.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Certainly makes things more comfortable.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Cars are getting smaller, also "squat" is somewhat of an allusion.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

Yeah, especially when you slam your knees into the back of a set.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

I guess 80's Mercedes had a lot of legroom?

I guess there is a dual possibility in

the trunk.

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1
  • $\begingroup$ That's a great answer, but no that's not it. Sorry, you're a little too cold on this one. Legroom and trunkspace are as available now as they were in the 80's. And when you say comfort what does that mean, really? $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 18:36
4
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You are

A lie

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

The larger the lie, the less your lie will hold. Someone who doesn't lie wouldn't be bold enough to do so.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Putting the seat back to 'lie' down will make you comfy on long road trips

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

People used to lie a lot, now, nobody cares because everyone does.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

When a lie fails, the person being lied to will wail about it.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Both of these phrases are lies.

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  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Nice, but no. And I love the transition from why lie works for bigger, AND why lie works for comfort. Ha. But no. And I think people do value integrity. And no to 80's popularity and Mercedes. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 22:28
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ If this was the answer, what makes me think you would tell the truth? ;D $\endgroup$
    – user20363
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 22:31
3
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Is it:

Floppy Disk

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

The 3.5" floppy was marketed at 1.4MB storage capacity, while the 5.25" was could only store 1.2MB - Wikipedia

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

This one I don't know yet, perhaps a hint at their portability

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat

Nobody uses floppy disks anymore, they were replaced by CD's, which in turn were replaced by flash drives as higher capacity portable storage

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

If a floppy disk fails all the data will be lost, the owner of said data will be quite unhappy.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

The 3.5" was created in 1986, the 5.25" in 1982 - same Wikipedia

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1
  • $\begingroup$ No, not a floppy disk. Weird. I could have sworn somebody already answered this. I made the comment "Fllliiiippppp FLllooooppppp" to it.... (and yeah, that's a hint...) $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 20:52
3
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A car jack carjack

My reasoning as follows:

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

People are not happy to lift cars; the higher the jack goes, the less strength it exerts

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

While the car is travelling, the car jack is stored inside

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Modern cars rarely have one; most use "easy-ride" tires to get to the nearest gas station

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

squish

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

self-explanatory :D

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1
  • $\begingroup$ Nice answer, but a big car jack will hold a LOT more than a small car jack. No, its not a car jack. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 14:08
2
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I think it is a

Spare Tyre

The bigger I am, the less I will hold

I think this refers to bigger tyre getting worn out faster

No one else would be so bold

Referring to color, maybe?

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

More chances of being used on long trips

I used to get used a whole lot

Self explanatory

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail

Flat tyre :)

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Self explanatory

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6
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ You should spoiler-ify that. $\endgroup$
    – nicael
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 12:31
  • $\begingroup$ what does that mean @nicael $\endgroup$
    – G.One
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 12:34
  • $\begingroup$ @nicael I'm not even sure what that word means. But I do want to see the spare tires on G.One's car. Bold? Er, no. Its not a spare tire (oops... tyre!) $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 12:34
  • $\begingroup$ G.One, I've suggested an edit, please approve and see :) $\endgroup$
    – nicael
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 12:34
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @zipzit :) Both the spellings are correct $\endgroup$
    – G.One
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 12:40
2
$\begingroup$

Coult it be

The folding textile roof of a convertible car?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

The bigger the roof, the bigger the hole it leaves when it is folded.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

The roof is folded and stored in the car while driving.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Seems these are becoming less popular, although I could not find any statistics to support this claim.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

Not being able to fold the roof is annoying.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Same as the third line.

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1
  • $\begingroup$ Sorry, not a convertible car roof. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:10
2
$\begingroup$

Are you a

T Top

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

a larger gap in the roof

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

You would have to keep them in the car in case of rain

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

T tops used to be popular but not anymore

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

If they failed it would drip rain and passengers would complain

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

T tops were more popular around the 80s, most cars that had them weren't as classy as a Mercedes, leading you to miss your merc

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2
  • $\begingroup$ Good answer, but no. I like it, but no. The clues will be a good fit. How does a gap in the roof hold anything? $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 13:59
  • $\begingroup$ You're right. That was one of the weaker points, a bit of a stretch. $\endgroup$
    – John
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:26
2
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Is it

Leather?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

A large piece of leather will not hold out as long, and will wear down faster. Leather clothes are a bold fashion statement

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Leather seats are stiff at first but get broken in when you use them a long time

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Not many people wear leather pants anymore, and good luck doing a squat in them!

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

Whether it is your leather pants ripping, and your seats tearing you would be upset, leather is expensive

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes

Leather pants were popular in the eighties. Mercedes is a luxury brand that uses leather a lot

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  • $\begingroup$ No. Not the answer I'm looking for. Definitely doesn't meet The bigger I am, the less I will hold. criteria. I know that sorta sucks, sorry. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:38
  • $\begingroup$ @zipzit yea, I thought it was a bit of a stretch, great riddle though! $\endgroup$
    – computhomas
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 15:40
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Okay... might be a stretch...

a travel trailer toilet (septic system)

The bigger I am, the less I hold...

the more it gets used, the heavier the vehicle becomes and thus, less it can hold - STRETCH!!! -

I get comfy in the car (vehicle) as we travel really far...

Makes road trips more comfortable as a person is not stuck holding it in

I used to get used a whole lot, now no one gives a squat...

It's only an opinion through my personal observations: but it seems like people have become less and less comfortable with the idea of using this... this also doubles as a pun because literally no one gives a squat.

It's clear when I fail, you hear folks wail...

So, I would imagine if this failed it would cause some wailing.

Popular in the 80's / miss my Mercedes:

Big time stretch as I can't find a correlation as to why this would lose popularity between the 80's and now (maybe more modern techniques have been established or a 'travel trailer' does not equate to the definition of an RV???).
Mercedes part having to do with the Mercedes Camper Van (this would assume that OP may have had a particular vehicle in mind?)

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  • $\begingroup$ Can't seem to get the last region to hide properly - apologies - $\endgroup$
    – MegaMark
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 20:58
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    $\begingroup$ Please accept the profi-spoiler :) $\endgroup$
    – nicael
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:09
  • $\begingroup$ @nicael thank you very much... i need to find the explanation of how that works $\endgroup$
    – MegaMark
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:12
  • $\begingroup$ You have started a new paragraph without adding the spoiler formatting in the beginning, that is it. $\endgroup$
    – nicael
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:12
  • $\begingroup$ The answer is hilarious :D $\endgroup$
    – nicael
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 21:15
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Are you a

Cup holder in a car?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

Big cup holders can not hold most cups (they fall through).

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Beverages are mostly consumed on long trips.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

I haven't seen/used a flip-out cup holder in years.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

Splash!

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Flip out cup holders used to be cool in the 80s... maybe they were pioneered by Mercedes-Benz?

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  • $\begingroup$ No, not a cup holder. Bigger they are, the more they hold. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 9, 2016 at 0:01
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Are you

Hydropneumatic suspension?

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

Not sure about that, but maybe you can have less weight when leveled up

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

That suspension is very comfortable

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Modern cars mostly use steel Springs, because they are far more cost effective

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

If the suspension fails during driving it is like hitting a roadhole. Also without driving a bad road wihtout suspension hurts your back

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

In the 80s you had more cars with that type of suspension, especially Citroen, but also Mercedes and Rolls Royce

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  • $\begingroup$ Great answer, but no, that's not it. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 13:04
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Are you a:

Vintage car horn:
enter image description here

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

When you use it it becomes smaller and will produce (more) sound.

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Used in cars in the past.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Nowadays everyone has a horn built in inside the steering wheel and you only see these car horns on some bicycles, usually as a joke.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

When you can't alarm other drivers when they are not paying attention because your car horn malfunctions, there might be a car crash with deadly consequences.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

The car horn was popular in the past, but as mentioned above, nowadays the build in steering wheel horns are used.
Not sure about the Mercedes part, I'm not really a car guy. :)

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  • $\begingroup$ Cute. But no. I didn't see many of those in the 80's (and they didn't have cars in the 1880's!) Its not a car horn. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 13:43
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First post, just a wild guess from what I have recently experienced.

Blinds

The bigger I am, the less I will hold. No one else would be so bold.

Bigger blinds means less heat in the vehicle?

I get comfy in the car, as we travel real far.

Blinds are surly a big help for road trips in summer.

I used to get used a whole lot. Now, nobody gives a squat.

Not quite sure about this one...blinds still get used quite often nowadays.

It's clear when I fail, you'll hear folks wail.

When the blinds fail the windows will be clear and everyone will be complaining about the sunshine and heat because nothing is blocking.

I was popular in the eighties. I sure miss my Mercedes.

Again not sure about this...

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  • $\begingroup$ No. Not blinds, nor is it those fancy silver windshield reflectors, but I can see how those things could work to make the car more comfortable. But... perhaps there is another way to do that too? $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 18:09
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Vacuum cleaner bag. Bigger it gets, less dirty it can hold. All vacuums these days are bagless. If you've ever one burst you know you were yelling. Used in cars after long road trips.

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  • $\begingroup$ Its not a vacuum cleaner bag, But yes, you are definitely thinking in right direction. I will say, a vacuum cleaner bag is not very helpful in the comfy department either. And I think a bigger bag holds more. So no go on vacuum cleaner bags. I know you can get this answer, even though its quite possible you don't even know what this item is, and you've never seen it before. Or more likely you've seen it but didn't realize what it was. Look to the skills you have to get the conceptual hints you need. Then Google is your friend. The strongest hint is the bigger it is, the less it holds. $\endgroup$
    – zipzit
    Commented Jun 8, 2016 at 22:06

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