Your friend does all his writing using:
He is constantly rewording sentences and editing his writing.
He is also quite new to editing with this software.
You should really send him a command cheatsheet, so he can stop abusing his keyboard and, more importantly, his flexor tendons.
Her name is
Her phone number is
The translated message is:
Which, converted to plain text is:
The result above
Translating this, we get:
These are the
Which spells out the following:
Which are the
Giving us her phone number:
Which, pop-culture tells us belongs to:
You are a:
and the rooms are:
1st floor: I poked my head into room 130 and saw someone with a deck of cards. She was staring intently at it, then flipped the top card over with great conviction. She then sighed sadly and scribbled something down on a notepad.
3rd floor: There were a bunch of unsavory mobster-types hanging out by room 364, so I kept ...
As pointed out in the comments by crcroberts, this particular room is
The DJ from Moscow was pumping out tunes.
The house mostly bare but for furniture, strewn;
A sofa for three and an armchair for one.
The guests started piling in, looking for fun...
'Twas Elle who came first, seeking somewhere to slouch,
She leaned on ...
This is a compilation of many previous answers and adding of my own. Most of the credit to Paul Evans, Sleafar, charfellow, and question_asker (in no particular order).
The answer is:
You've probably seen me naked.
As an alphabet aficionado, I can make you laugh long into the night.
As a make of Japanese vehicle, I can keep your surroundings clean ...
Two things jumped out at me as soon as I saw this puzzle.
Firstly, the mixed-case letter strings on the far right. Several of them look like
Secondly, the all-caps letter strings in the middle. Several of them start with what look like
Looking at it a little more closely, I noticed that
So let's fill in some of those letters and see where we get:
Despite my name, I wasn't the first:
Because of a difference in trajectory
My "younger" twin was born 16 days before me.
We were recently joined by a guy with a towel
And our fictional brother lost all but one vowel.
Though more than hundredfold faster than a speeding bus,
You are actually right now catching up to both of us.
Following on from NudgeNudge who got halfway with
This can be shortened to
Adding where we initiated
Whats inbetween and the two lower rated
this combination leads straight to a street
we keep going southwards till we know we're beat
So the answer is
Albert's seat has number 13, that I know, but he weighs... (insert rummaging sounds from the direction of the knowledge tag)
Clark and Albert sat at the same old table they'd met at years ago.
As per usual, there was hardly anything to drink
and they'd had nothing but sips between them.
Near Albert, there were some scraps of bacon, and an egg, scrambled.