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user39583
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The one with the winning strategy is quite surprisingly

X

and the strategy is

Start in the center. First, let us note that if X starts anywhere else, O wins on their first move like this

 |X *|     |*X |
| | |O* |
|* O| | |

First options

When X starts in the center, O has two options, corner, which gives X zero winning moves or middle, which gives X six winning moves

 |O  |     |*O*|
| X | |*X*|
| | |* *|

Case 1

If O goes for the corner, X wins like this

 |O  |    |OX |    |OXX|    |OXX|
| X | -> | X | -> | X | -> |*XX|
| | | O | |OO | |OO*|

Case 2

If O goes for the middle, X wins like this

 | O |    | OO|    |XOO|
| X | -> | X | -> | X |
| | |X | |X |

Case 2 continued

As we can see, X has now two possible winning lines but it is O's turn. If O tries to block one of the winning lines, X has exactly one winning move. However, if O doesn't block either of the lines, then X will eventually win with any of the three remaining cells so X has three winning moves. Thus, either way, X will eventually win.

user39583
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