My friend Della and I constantly try to invent things. We're currently working on a patent for a wondrous machine which we both designed: the magnificent Bubblizer!
What does it do? Well... right now, not much. We're still working out all the kinks of this contraption, since it's still just a prototype. I'll tell this much — and really, this is a wondrous thing: it can turn anyone... into pure NEON! (Cue mad-scientist music and lightning effects)
Yes, yes, I know; it's astounding! Really, it's the greatest! Some of the best work Della and I have made! And you know what? It gets better! You waiting?... It's perfectly* reversible! Yes, you heard right! The best part: completely pain-free! Wanna try?...
You sure?...
Ah, maybe another time...
Perhaps it's for the best anyways; you see, we encountered a bug during our latest software update. All I tried to do was add a... small feature... I thought it would make the Bubblizer the next-best thing with all the young kids, but Della said no, and I-... well, see for yourself:
I wanted the Bubblizer to handle some basic math, but for some reason the Bubbilizer is giving me some rather strange results. For example:
- I plug in
2 + 6
, but I get24,076,222
- I plug in
1 × 10
, but I get746,375,756,370
- I plug in
5 - 4
, but I get-2,096,046
- I plug in
9 ÷ 0
, but I get0.28323633188
Maybe it is a feature, but Della keeps saying it's just my inputs. Certainly that can't be right... right? Maybe you can figure out what went wrong?
The answer to this question is a simple one: explain what's going on in each input and output to figure out how my– er, our machine works. And I do mean each one (including the secret one).
*Of course, "perfectly reversible" is relative; like any reasonable scientific endeavor, the process must obey the laws of thermodynamics. While it's possible to revert one back to their initial state, the reverse process does add... an usual appendage. Usually an extra nose or another nail on their toes... otherwise, perfectly normal and entirely painless!
WARNING: this claim has not been verified by the FDA.