7
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My head hurts... I feel like I'm missing something. "Avoid notes" starts with the left heading, reportedly. Ends firsts, like extremely terrifyingly impressively clearly plainly solved:
One Refined Gander (G, 7, 7, 5) - Greatly Genteel Goose

One Nasty Sucker (A, 10, 5, 8)
One Terrible Penguin (B, 9, 3, 4)
One Spooky Spider (C, 9, 6, 6)
One Evil Waterfowl (D, 10, 9, 4)
One Active Horse (E, 9, 9, 6)
One Illegal Amphibian (F, 10, 9, 4)
One Talkative Ruminant (G, 9, 9, 4)
One Heart-rending Jumper (H, 11, 5-8, 4)
One Large Lemur (I, 12, 7, 5)
One Hawkish Stinger (J, 9, 10, 9)
One Lively Marsupial (K, 6, 7, 8)
One Disabled Spitter (L, 10, 4, 5)
One Wicked Deer (M, 7, 10, 5)
One Kind Singer (N, 10, 4, 11)
One Angry Ape (O, 9, 8, 9)
One Important Antarctician (P, 8, 9, 7)
One Silent Pheasant (Q, 11, 5, 5)
One Uncommon African (R, 6, 4, 10)
One Foolish Slitherer (S, 10, 5, 5)
One Pondering Snapper (T, 5, 8, 6)
One Sympathetic Sheep (U, 10, 13, 5)
One Fat Scavenger (V, 7, 10, 7)
One Clever Tusker (W, 6, 5, 6)

I seem to be in a dungeon? I found this note, clutched in the hand of a skeleton:

Oh, Lament for I
weep tears of insanity
the immortalized drudgery
and yet my needed death
Always to be vexingly absent
Oh, Lament for I
weep tears of insanity
the endless emotions
the years are gone and nothing remains...
Oh, I weep for Something -
'tis myself! Abolish me!
Finally taken all the way to
a purgatory of unfathomable horror -
there, the great torture of losing
my soul: after it, I never aged;
Nor could harm oneself
Oh, Lament! Bountiful terror of Immortality
Oh, Lament! Unusual horror of an Eternal Life

Lest I forget, they left some ravings on the wall, mayhaps like this:

Oh, why to offend Nyx!
9 45 ' 21 6 2 38 22 53 10 51 13 44 12 40 17 39 1 48 3 55  
22 34 21 53 4 40 11 37 15 49 18 39 8 61 19 51 16 62  
22 42 6 40 18 8 16 45 2 8 3 16 5 36 14 40 7 55 7 61 9 32  
13 34 7 15 23 51 20 55 3 53 12 55 17 42 17 50 1 7 1 36  
21 4 2 10 10 58 14 13 3 5 4 4 4 49 9 8 8 23 23 1 1 54 4 7 4 53 23 44  
Never again can I do so

Aiii, I can't remember: who am I, and what do I want?

Edit/Hint: Seeing as there are so many ways to say the same thing (apparently some are valid, even with the enigmatic constraints), I will be revealing the the individual intended answers below, once a valid solution is posted:

 One Nasty Sucker (A, 10, 5, 8) - Absolutely Awful Anteater
 One Terrible Penguin (B, 9, 3, 4) - Blatantly Bad Bird
 One Spooky Spider (C, 9, 6, 6) - Certainly Creepy Crawly
 One Evil Waterfowl (D, 10, 9, 4) - Distinctly Dastardly Duck
 One Active Horse (E, 9, 9, 6) - Evidently Energetic Equine
 One Illegal Amphibian (F, 10, 9, 4) - Flagrantly Felonious Frog
 One Talkative Ruminant (G, 9, 9, 4) - Glaringly Garrulous Goat
 One Heart-rending Jumper (H, 11, 5-8, 4) - Harrowingly Heart-breaking Hare
 One Large Lemur (I, 12, 7, 5) - Impressively Immense Indri
 One Hawkish Stinger (J, 9, 10, 9) - Juttingly Jingoistic Jellyfish
 One Lively Marsupial (K, 6, 7, 8) - Keenly Kicking Kangaroo
 One Disabled Spitter (L, 10, 4, 5) - Luminously Lame Llama
 One Wicked Deer (M, 7, 10, 5) - Majorly Malevolent Moose
 One Kind Singer (N, 10, 4, 11) - Noticeably Nice Nightingale
 One Angry Ape (O, 9, 8, 9) - Obviously Outraged Orangutan
 One Important Antarctician (P, 8, 9, 7) - Palpably Prominent Penguin
 One Silent Pheasant (Q, 11, 5, 5) Quotidianly Quiet Quail
 One Uncommon African (R, 6, 4, 10) - Really Rare Rhinoceros
 One Foolish Slitherer (S, 10, 5, 5) - Strikingly Silly Snake
 One Pondering Snapper (T, 5, 8, 6) - Truly Thinking Turtle
 One Sympathetic Sheep (U, 10, 13, 5) - Undeniably Understanding Urial 
 One Fat Scavenger (V, 7, 10, 7) - Visibly Voluminous Vulture
 One Clever Tusker (W, 6, 5, 6) - Wildly Witty Walrus
 


Hint:

My mother always told me to examine prey from top to bottom before consumption


Hint:

"A void notes starts with the title". Make what you will of it.


Hint:

Never offend N(y,x)


Hint:

Perhaps you're up for a fantastic game of Charates?

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6
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Some attempts at solving the first part. Don't know how useful this is for the entire riddle...

One Terrible Penguin (B, 9, 3, 4) - ?? BAD BIRD
One Spooky Spider (C, 9, 6, 6) - ?? CREEPY ??
One Evil Waterfowl (D, 10, 9, 4) - ?? DASTARDLY Duck
One Heart-rending Jumper (H, 11, 5-8 4) - ?? HEART-BREAKING HARE
One Hawkish Stinger (J, 9, 10, 9) - ?? JINGOISTIC JELLYFISH
One Lively Marsupial (K, 6, 7, 8) - ?? KICKING KANGAROO
One Disabled Spitter (L, 10, 4, 5) - !Legitimate Lame LLAMA
One Wicked Deer (M, 7, 10, 5) - ?? ?? Moose
One Kind Singer (N, 10, 4, 11) - ?? NICE NIGHTINGALE
One Silent Pheasant (Q, 11, 5, 5) - ?? QUIET QUAIL
One Sympathetic Sheep (U, 10, 13, 5) - ! ?? UNDERSTANDING URIAL

EDIT: Removed all fully solved clues, which are now found in the original post; ! signifies one of the words is wrong, and ALL CAPS is confirmed correct.

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  • $\begingroup$ Partially right: B, C, F, J, K, N, Q, W Partially right, partially wrong: A, D, E, G, I, L, M, P, U Completely wrong: Formatting, Completely right: O - get rid of the "-", R, S, T, V $\endgroup$ – Avi Nov 1 at 20:00
  • $\begingroup$ Couple more stabs at some: A 10 = rot13(Nofbyhgryl) , B 3 = rot13(Onq) $\endgroup$ – GrumpyLlama59 Nov 1 at 21:51
  • $\begingroup$ H 4 = rot13(Uner) $\endgroup$ – GrumpyLlama59 Nov 1 at 21:59
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ N 11 is probably rot13(avtugvatnyr) $\endgroup$ – Braegh Nov 1 at 22:02
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ F9 = rot (Srybavbhf) $\endgroup$ – MobileGlick Nov 2 at 5:58
3
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Filling in the blanks for the first section (hopefully)

B: Brutishly Bad Blue
H: Hazardously Harried Hare
J: Jarringly Jackbooted Jellyfish
K: Keenly Kicking Kangaroo
L: Lopsidedly Lame Llama
M: Majorly Malevolent Moose
N: Noticeably Nice Nightingale

Edit: New suggestions

B: Banefully Bad Bird
B: Balefully Bad Bird
L: Lamentedly Lame Llama
L: Laughingly Lame Llama

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  • $\begingroup$ B9 wrong, B3 correct, B4 wrong (rot13(Vg'f nyernql pbasvezrq gb or "oveq")), H11 acceptable (will be posted), J9 acceptable (will be posted), K6 correct (all correct), L10 wrong, L4 correct, L5 correct, M7 correct (all correct), N10 correct (all correct) $\endgroup$ – Avi Nov 5 at 3:33
  • $\begingroup$ With regards to the new suggestions, both L10 are incorrect, but B9 is acceptable. Considering it's the last one, I'll post L10 as well, because it's a bit of a stretch. $\endgroup$ – Avi Nov 5 at 14:51
3
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As it has been 2 weeks and no progress has been posted for 1 week, I am posting the intended solution.

Firstly, it was required to parse the beginning:
My head hurts... I feel like I'm missing something.

If your head hurts very badly, you could be said to have a splitting headache. This clues that you should split the next sentences in an odd way.

"Avoid notes" starts with the left heading, reportedly. Ends firsts, like extremely terrifyingly impressively clearly plainly solved:

  Noting that "ly" ends the words "extremely... plainly", the intended split is therefore "reported | Ly". Using the second part and the first example, it is possible to derive that the "ly" words are the meanings of the first words in the first section, which will all end with "ly".
  The remaining first part is "Avoid notes" starts with the left heading, reportedly. Taking it by sound, you get "a void notes starts with the left heading". This tells you that a void (0) in the note's starts is associated with the left side of the note, and the title (a heading).

After this point, it should be possible (and it was) to solve the first section. As was found already, the answers were:

 One Nasty Sucker (A, 10, 5, 8) - Absolutely Awful Anteater
 One Terrible Penguin (B, 9, 3, 4) - Blatantly Bad Bird
 One Spooky Spider (C, 9, 6, 6) - Certainly Creepy Crawly
 One Evil Waterfowl (D, 10, 9, 4) - Distinctly Dastardly Duck
 One Active Horse (E, 9, 9, 6) - Evidently Energetic Equine
 One Illegal Amphibian (F, 10, 9, 4) - Flagrantly Felonious Frog
 One Talkative Ruminant (G, 9, 9, 4) - Glaringly Garrulous Goat
 One Heart-rending Jumper (H, 11, 5-8, 4) - Harrowingly Heart-breaking Hare
 One Large Lemur (I, 12, 7, 5) - Impressively Immense Indri
 One Hawkish Stinger (J, 9, 10, 9) - Juttingly Jingoistic Jellyfish
 One Lively Marsupial (K, 6, 7, 8) - Keenly Kicking Kangaroo
 One Disabled Spitter (L, 10, 4, 5) - Luminously Lame Llama
 One Wicked Deer (M, 7, 10, 5) - Majorly Malevolent Moose
 One Kind Singer (N, 10, 4, 11) - Noticeably Nice Nightingale
 One Angry Ape (O, 9, 8, 9) - Obviously Outraged Orangutan
 One Important Antarctician (P, 8, 9, 7) - Palpably Prominent Penguin
 One Silent Pheasant (Q, 11, 5, 5) Quotidianly Quiet Quail
 One Uncommon African (R, 6, 4, 10) - Really Rare Rhinoceros
 One Foolish Slitherer (S, 10, 5, 5) - Strikingly Silly Snake
 One Pondering Snapper (T, 5, 8, 6) - Truly Thinking Turtle
 One Sympathetic Sheep (U, 10, 13, 5) - Undeniably Understanding Urial 
 One Fat Scavenger (V, 7, 10, 7) - Visibly Voluminous Vulture
 One Clever Tusker (W, 6, 5, 6) - Wildly Witty Walrus
 

Next, the note must be parsed:

Going down the note, you can find:

 Oh, Lament for I
 weep tears of insanity
 the immortalized drudgery
 and yet my needed death
 Always to be vexingly absent
 Oh, Lament for I
 weep tears of insanity
 the endless emotions
 the years are gone and nothing remains...
 Oh, I weep for Something -
 'tis myself! Abolish me!
 Finally taken all the way to
 a purgatory of unfathomable horror -
 there, the great torture of losing
 my soul: after it, I never aged;
 Nor could harm oneself
 Oh, Lament! Bountiful terror of Immortality
 Oh, Lament! Unusual horror of an Eternal Life
That is, Index Into Solutions

Now, to proceed to the third section:

  The key here is to figure out the indexing scheme. Taking the second hint, it's clear that indexing into the solutions from the first part is required. Taking the leading bit of the third part, "Oh, why to offend Nyx!", one thing stands out - "Nyx", a very unusual name. Specifically, taking off the first end ("offend") of NYX, the result (-n)YX indicates that the numbers below will be indexes of form (y, x).
  Given that indexes are of form (y, x), the first part indicates where the indexes begin. Knowing that "a void (0) in the note's starts is associated with the left side of the note, and the title (a heading)" (previously deduced conclusion), 0 is the most obvious choice of starting index. 0 for x indices is the left side of the note, and 0 for y indices is the title (essentially making y 1-indexed for the note itself). Newline characters/OS differences are never relevant because the x-index never exceeds the length of the corresponding line.
  Now, taking the note's number pairs and replacing them with letters, we get the following:

 I'MAVIVIDLY
 VENERABLE
 VAMPIREBUTI
 JUSTWANTTO
 SLEEPETERNALLY
 

Parsing these letters into words, we get the final form of the note itself:
 Oh, why to offend Nyx!
 I'm a Vividly
 Venerable
 Vampire but I
 just want to
 Sleep Eternally
 Never again can I do so
 

Title:

I'm a respectable predator (V, 7, 9, 7) - VIVIDLY VENERABLE VAMPIRE

Edit/Hint:

This had the intended answers to resolve the problem of having too many options to say the same thing

Hint 1:

This clues the way for solving the second part

Hint 2:

This is the verbal interpretation of the first clue after splitting

Hint 3:

This clues the idea of taking off 1 end

Hint 4:

This clues the fact that, once you have the correct y-indices, finding x-indices is equivalent to invoking the char-at function, which is zero-indexed in the languages that literally invoke it as charAt() (i.e. Java, JavaScript)

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  • 2
    $\begingroup$ I am giving the checkmark to the answer that made the most progress towards the final solution. $\endgroup$ – Avi Nov 22 at 20:08

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