I have big news! I finally have a girlfriend! She's really nice and is studying to be a cartographer. As you know, I don't have much experience with the ladies, so I need some advice.
I have been sensing that things are not going well, and when I asked her what was wrong, she emailed me the attached map. She said that if I couldn't figure out what it meant, then I should probably ask you.
Your loving son,
A correct answer will specifically identify the four points
Don the map as they pertain to the above letter.
As a bonus, you could suggest what a carefully worded response from Dear Old Dad would look like. :)