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Who wrote this doctoral thesis?

Published: August 1960

Abstract: Subject responses are investigated to antemeridial comestibles in the 510 nm range. Verbal responses was elicited by a hobbit companion on a sample of size n=1. Aversive reactions were reproduced for a wide variety of environmental scenarios, including: cuboid containment, vulpine proximity, domestic setting, liquid precipitation, and locomotive transport. However, the results are contraindicated by a singular yet strongly outlying data point at the end of testing.


In case it's not clear, this is a riddle in a fanciful frame. This is not an actual doctoral thesis.

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  • $\begingroup$ This sounds like a question from You Don't Know Jack $\endgroup$ – BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft Feb 3 '15 at 21:21
  • $\begingroup$ I just stumbled across this, and it's hilarious. $\endgroup$ – Bailey M Aug 20 '15 at 19:00
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This is an abstract to

Green Eggs and Ham, a children's book by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel), published in 1960.
"Antemeridial comestibles" are morning foods (eggs and ham), and light with wavelength 510 nm is green light.
"Hobbit companion" refers to Sam, who was the companion of Frodo in The Lord of the Rings, as well as the character Sam (Sam-I-Am) in Seuss' book who offers green eggs and ham to another character.
The aversive responses are the other character's rejections of green eggs and ham in a variety of locations and situations: "cuboid containment" (I do not like them in a box), "vulpine proximity" (I do not like them with a fox), "liquid precipitation" (I will not eat them in the rain), and "locomotive transport" (I will not eat them on a train).
The refusals are always addressed to Sam by name (I do not like them, Sam-I-Am).
The results are contraindicated because at the end of the story, the character tries green eggs and ham, likes them, and recants the earlier statements.

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  • 1
    $\begingroup$ I'd just like to point out that Sam is the offerer, not the one being offered these items. This points to a slight problem with either the puzzle or answer. $\endgroup$ – Set Big O Feb 3 '15 at 16:55
  • $\begingroup$ I am a little confused. Is Sam-I-Am the offerer's name, or is the narrator stating that he is Sam? $\endgroup$ – Julian Rosen Feb 3 '15 at 16:56
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    $\begingroup$ I guess it's pretty clear Sam is the offerer, so I agree this is problematic. $\endgroup$ – Julian Rosen Feb 3 '15 at 16:57
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    $\begingroup$ The offerer. I don't believe the other is ever named. (source: 150 bazillion readings). $\endgroup$ – Set Big O Feb 3 '15 at 16:58
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    $\begingroup$ Well, Wikipedia agrees that Sam is the offerer, so looks like I've misunderstood it since childhood. I'll edit the riddle. $\endgroup$ – xnor Feb 3 '15 at 17:02

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