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To clear some confusion, this is just a riddle. I think maybe the size is whats intimidating some, but it can be solved as you would any other riddle. There are no new techniques used here.

atop the monument seeking jewellery
this fake character is not the ordinary
a trio, the misguided claim to possess
their psychiatric health we must assess
 
watching you now, locked in solitude
lose thoughts of it and gain gratitude
data from it to be deciphered
easy comprehension is what's desired
 
to see your path, you favour no grin
just follow the road by the grimalkin
the agreeable ones pillage upon the salt
those who fare, through billow upon holt
 
low warm and high cool, the air will fight
stay close within to avoid the smite
as the exterior rips through the land
the inner recess is tranquil and grand

 

shot, the projectile changes thee
elude, the meaning will till you guarantee
no material can heal what once was neat
subtle memories, dread a repeat

the drum of life does symbolise
one does not simply analyse
broken only, lonely alone
rejection wrecking leaving stone

yet true twice in benevolent violence
one look only for it gains entrance
an entity for life you obtain
create anew a life to reign
 
compelled by this to achieve
yet humility intervenes, you don’t believe
effects differ and subjects vary
listen to this its not that scary

 

the board rides the pipe into the air
high as a hawk, its quite a scare
thou shalt address thee as a clue
be thy plumber of thy loo
 
material of squander travels around
within the confines, trapped and bound
nowhere to go the water rises
break free quickly no nasty surprises

Germans sink within this vessel
under the radar hoping to nestle
place what you need before the knee
take the verse and have some tea

the Gothic did state the differences
upon the vague instances
for we were once another
our rather angular brother

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    $\begingroup$ I didn't know my brain can stutter while reading. $\endgroup$ – dmg Jan 28 '15 at 12:43
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    $\begingroup$ A special species of selfish shellfish. I came up with that myself. $\endgroup$ – warspyking Jan 28 '15 at 14:22
  • $\begingroup$ I didn't find this too hard to verbalize, compared to tongue twisters. Maybe it's just me. Is this a puzzle to come up with a tongue twister poem? $\endgroup$ – Quark Jan 28 '15 at 14:44
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    $\begingroup$ does capitalization matter for the riddle? If not then it should probably be standardized. $\endgroup$ – Quark Jan 28 '15 at 19:02
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    $\begingroup$ @warspyking A noisy noise annoys an oyster. $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Feb 6 '15 at 11:16
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+500
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I think I understand it. The title, the riddle sectioning, everything.

At the beginning of trying to solve this riddle, I thought that maybe each paragraph represented a word. This didn't exactly work out as I went. However, the words I gathered were often similar to each other. This helped me clarify a lot of things.

Each section of four paragraphs is a different word.


Section 1:

The first word is I.
atop the monument seeking jewellery, this fake character is not the ordinary
This is talking about the lowercase i: the dot is the jewel atop the monument, the "fake" character is how i represents an imaginary number in mathematics.

a trio, the misguided claim to possess, their psychiatric health we must assess
Talking about me, myself, and I - thinking about deep-seated conceit as a psychiatric concern.

watching you now, locked in solitude, lose thoughts of it and gain gratitude
Courteousness. Don't be selfish, and people will thank you.

data from it to be deciphered, easy comprehension is what's desired
The id, aka sense of self-identity, people strive to identify who they are. In a philosophical sense, people look for the easiest way to understand themselves.

to see your path, you favour no grin, just follow the road by the grimalkin
The future; a form of identity as related to how one perceives their future. The grimalkin is another word for ominous cat, which at the time of its use, referred to familiar cats (those owned by witches) that were believed to have the power of futuresight.

the agreeable ones pillage upon the salt, those who fare through billow upon holt
Credit to Matt Malone, this refers to seafaring pirates who say "aye", pronounced like "I", when they are in agreement.

low warm and high cool, the air will fight, stay close within to avoid the smite, as the exterior rips through the land, the inner recess is tranquil and grand
Probably the easiest of the bunch, this is literally what it suggests: the "eye" of the storm. The difference is that it has nothing to do with self, except that "eye" is a homonym of "I".

OP Edit:

I, me and myself are the trio, aswell as those who believe they have a third eye. Spirituality does not come easy to me ergo I stated this line was an opinion.

I is the monument and it seeks its dot, which is only in the lower case. There is also a reference that could be taken if you know of Lord Of The Rings, where an eye is on a monument looking for a ring. Which is also not the ordinary.

Lose thoughts of I will bring gratitude from others. Watching you now, represents the eye itself. Locked in solitude, this is the upper case "I" (cap locks) and on its own as "I" stands alone when written.

"Data from it to be deciphered" This is because we see upside down and the brain rotates the picture for us for easy comprehension! (also side not of how we see colour, we just label a colour but how do we know we all see the same thing)
We follow the path of the cat's eye when driving at night. Usually along motorways and other major roads to ensure we dont randomly drive to and.. die... Horribly.

holt is a wooded hill, a pirate ship would be a wooded hill on the sea.

Section 2

The second word is love.
shot, the projectile changes thee; elude, the meaning will till you guarantee; no material can heal what once was neat; subtle memories, dread a repeat
Cupid's arrow. Once struck, you are changed forever. You won't understand it until you know for sure that it's love. It's awkward for the riddle to claim that being lovestruck needs healing, and leads me to believe the second half is talking about heartbreak.

the drum of life does symbolise one does not simply analyse; broken only, lonely alone, rejection wrecking leaving stone The drum of life is the heart and its heartbeat. You can't research love. Again, second half is talking about heartbreak, and how being rejected turns the heart stone-cold and less susceptible to falling in love again.

yet true twice in benevolent violence, one look only for it gains entrance, an entity for life you obtain, create anew a life to reign
Motherly love. Tricky to understand at first glance, the benevolent violence is another word for time. In essence, this means "twice in life you find true love, but you only have to look for it once". In other words, the first time you encounter true love is from your mother at birth. The second half encourages this thought, talking about giving birth to new life.

compelled by this to achieve yet humility intervenes, you don’t believe; effects differ and subjects vary, listen to this its not that scary
Final words about love, this is talking about how we are compelled to find love, but low self-esteem gets in the way, making you think you'll never find it. But don't give up, there are lots of people out there and you might not notice love when it reaches out to you. Think about this and you can do away with lover's anxiety.

OP Edit:

love is extremely hard to describe in riddle format without being ambigous, however. I tried to make at least some of the lines absolute truth, even then clutures and whatnot would disagree.

Guarantee is the contracts signed when getting married.

Neat is the word used to describe a pure drink E.G. in this instance neat is the pure love which gets broken after love ends.

Love is in benevolent and in violence. Another reference to it being in their twice is the act of being cruel to be kind. "you hurt those closest the most" and all those types of phrases.

Section 3

The final word is you.
the board rides the pipe into the air, high as a hawk, its quite a scare
Kinda silly, but this is talking about the skateboarding half-pipe. It's in the shape of a U.

thou shalt address thee as a clue, be thy plumber of thy loo
This is only trying to make use of words you/yourself/your in old English. Serves no other purpose. The moral of the last line is "Clean up your own messes," and the line before it says the subject, "you", is the clue.

material of squander travels around, within the confines, trapped and bound, nowhere to go the water rises, break free quickly no nasty surprises
What. ... If this follows the previous paragraph, as I expect it does, then this is talking about... flushing. Using your imagination, you can tell exactly what is meant by "material of squander" and "nasty surprises." What does this have to do with "you"? Don't ask me. I suppose this is just another one of those "clean up your own messes" deals... oh, haha! Maybe it's supposed to be "eww", which sounds like "you"? suggestion to the author: Maybe you can reference the yew tree instead? That makes for a good, clean homonym.

Germans sink within this vessel under the radar hoping to nestle. Place what you need before the knee, take the verse and have some tea.
German submarines were U-boats. The U is what is being alluded to here.

the Gothic did state the differences upon the vague instances, for we were once another our rather angular brother.
Admittedly, I know next to nothing about East Germanic language. However, I'm familiar enough to know that this references the uses of thee, thou, and thy (all Romanized Gothic words) as being ambiguous and misunderstood in modern English, whereas in old times they were very different in meaning.

OP Edit:

yes I know, very silly and cheesy skateboarding reference. It seemed a good idea at the time

University = U knee verse tea (almost).

According to online sources the Goths were the first culture to differenciate the "U" and "V", before words like vague could be spelt uagve and upon could be spelt vpon.

Final Answer

All in all, the whole answer is "I love you," which makes sense with the title being the hardest English words to speak.

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    $\begingroup$ Wow! Great puzzle if you're right about this. However, maybe you should add more detail to explain it (especially given the OP's bounty message). PS: welcome to SE! :-) $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Feb 2 '15 at 22:00
  • $\begingroup$ Thanks for the welcome message. I hadn't considered going into detail as I didn't have much time to think about it earlier. I will attempt to, however, if it is necessary for this to be considered a complete answer. $\endgroup$ – Bulldogg6404 Feb 2 '15 at 23:23
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    $\begingroup$ I think "the agreeable ones pillage upon the salt" may refer to sea pirates. When agreeable they say "aye", pronounced like "I". $\endgroup$ – Matt Malone Feb 3 '15 at 2:35
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    $\begingroup$ @Bulldogg6404 Congratulations! There are some you did not pick up on, and even ones that you deciphered differently. You in fact gave me something to think about with its new meanings you found. For that I thank you. $\endgroup$ – Oblongamous Feb 4 '15 at 11:57
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    $\begingroup$ @Bulldogg6404 Done, I just added to you answer :). $\endgroup$ – Oblongamous Feb 6 '15 at 12:00
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This is a non-answer/partial answer. Just assembling some thoughts and maybe getting the ball rolling?

atop the monument seeking jewellery // this fake character is not the ordinary // a trio, the misguided claim to possess // their psychiatric health we must assess

Edit: This could be referring to Jesus (though Idk what monument he's on top of). He's "fake" according to a lot of people, he is representative of the holy trinity, Christians (the "misguided") claim to have him in their hearts or whatever, which would make them crazy if he's fake. "Seeking jewelry" could refer to the crucifix as a piece of jewelry.

watching you now, locked in solitude // lose thoughts of it and gain gratitude // data from it to be deciphered // easy comprehension is what's desired //

This sounds like it's referring to the riddle itself, so the word here is probably something like riddle, rhyme, poem. This could also be referring to your computer, however, so it may be computer, monitor, screen... If I had to bet, I'd go with monitor, since when used as a verb, it means to watch.

to see your path, you favour no grin // just follow the road by the grimalkin // the agreeable ones pillage upon the salt // those who fare, through billow upon holt

I have no clue what this could be about. A road that is "by" a cat, but not a grinning cat (i.e. Cheshire)? So... A road that is the name of a cat and is somehow related to Cheshire...?

low warm and high cool, the air will fight // stay close within to avoid the smite // as the exterior rips through the land // the inner recess is tranquil and grand

I doubt that this could be referencing anything but a tornado. How it's formed, eye of the storm, destruction...

shot, the projectile changes thee // elude, the meaning will till you guarantee // no material can heal what once was neat // subtle memories, dread a repeat

Complete guess, but this seems to me that it's referencing the structure of the stanza itself. As if you're supposed to rearrange the awkward syntax to make it "neat" again, then re-read it to figure out what it's talking about -- it'll elude you until you do.

the drum of life does symbolise // one does not simply analyse // broken only, lonely alone // rejection wrecking leaving stone

Not a clue. "Drum of life" could be referring to something like a song or book called "beat" or "rhythm" of life. Alternatively, it could be referring to a sleep cycle, or "biorhythm".

yet true twice in benevolent violence // one look only for it gains entrance // an entity for life you obtain // create anew a life to reign

This sounds like giving birth. Two ovaries, one sperm enters an egg, baby is made. Not sure what the word here would be... Birth, conception, baby, anything in between...

compelled by this to achieve // yet humility intervenes, you don’t believe // effects differ and subjects vary // listen to this its not that scary

It sounds to me like the word here is encouragement, though it could also be something like advice. Encouragement compels you to achieve something, but your own humble views of yourself may make you believe you can't do it.

the board rides the pipe into the air // high as a hawk, its quite a scare // thou shalt address thee as a clue // be thy plumber of thy loo

Right, so address yourself as a clue when you're cleaning out your own pipes. The board rides the pipe... Yeah. Lol Idk what this one is about, but it sounds dirty.

material of squander travels around // within the confines, trapped and bound // nowhere to go the water rises // break free quickly no nasty surprises

Material of squander... waste? Waste within confines and considered to be "water" sounds like a sewer, which is enforced by "nasty" surprises. So... I'm guessing sewer here?

Germans sink within this vessel // under the radar hoping to nestle // place what you need before the knee // take the verse and have some tea

Obviously talking about a U-boat. I'm not sure what you would "place before your knee" before praying over tea... But whatever that is, probably in German, is what we're looking for.

the Gothic did state the differences // upon the vague instances // for we were once another // our rather angular brother

This is talking about evolution, but I'm not sure what exactly we're supposed to extract from it. I don't think "Gothic" refers to Darwin, and I don't know enough to guess any other scientist. Otherwise, we could be seeking evolution itself, or maybe homo erectus or one of his kin.

All in all, I find myself very... confused by this puzzle.

Monitor, Tornado, Biorhythm, Conception, Encouragement, Sewer, Evolution...

I don't see a connection at all. The only thing I can think of is that

...all of these words are supposed to be appropriate words that might make people feel uncomfortable, hence making them the "hardest to verbalize". (Conception, Masturbation, Sewage, Homo Erectus...)

But I'm 99.9% sure that I'm miles away from the actuality of it all.


Edit:

I suppose it could also be that all of the words aren't English words, which would make them pretty hard to say in English.

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