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Poetry seemed too difficult this time
Tough... I couldn't find many rhymes
Ideas... just words, a literary crime.

This poem doesn't feel right - what exactly is wrong with it?

CLUE 1

Since poetry is fairly freeform and rule-free, for there to be something wrong I must have been trying to do something specific.

CLUE 2

If you work out what I was trying to do with this poem and apply it then not only will you get the answer to "what is wrong" but you will also find the poem makes sense!

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8 Answers 8

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It seems to me that at first you wanted:

to write a haiku

but then

You also wanted it to rhyme, which ruined it

Explanation:

By removing the ending rhyming phrases from each line we get:

Poetry seemed too difficult this time
Tough...I couldn't find many rhymes
Ideas... just words a literary crime

Which is a perfectly good haiku

EDIT AFTER HINTS:
As for what exactly is wrong with the poem:

The last word of each truncated line combine to say "Too many words" which is the problem with this 'haiku'

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  • $\begingroup$ Well done! This is almost completely correct. You're just missing the answer to "what is wrong with it" - and it is staring you in the face! $\endgroup$
    – Astralbee
    Commented Apr 16, 2019 at 13:32
  • $\begingroup$ @Astralbee Are you looking for something more than ROT13(Gur unvxh unf gur jebat ahzore bs flyynoyrf, naq qbrfa'g arrq gb eulzr) or does that cover it? $\endgroup$
    – TwoBitOperation
    Commented Apr 16, 2019 at 13:50
  • $\begingroup$ Not quite... ROT13(Lbh ner pbeerpg gung Unvxhf qb abg hfhnyyl eulzr, naq bapr lbh nccyl gur ehyrf bs n Unvxh (gung V vtaberq) gur cbrz ab ybatre eulzrf. Qb lbh abgvpr nalguvat ryfr nobhg gur yvarf lbh gehapngrq?) $\endgroup$
    – Astralbee
    Commented Apr 16, 2019 at 14:48
  • $\begingroup$ I can't really post this as a separate answer since TwoBitOperation has done all the work, but is the final answer of what's wrong with it simply that rot13(vg qbrfa'g eulzr, ohg gung'f jung lbh frg bhg gb qb) $\endgroup$
    – Mohirl
    Commented Apr 17, 2019 at 14:26
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    $\begingroup$ Got it. Sorry I needed such a large poke to see it! $\endgroup$
    – TwoBitOperation
    Commented Apr 18, 2019 at 12:40
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The amounts of words in each sentence spell out

666

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  • $\begingroup$ I think there might be more to the answer than just this, but it ain't my riddle, so I don't know. Nice observation, though! $(+1)$ :P $\endgroup$
    – Mr Pie
    Commented Apr 14, 2019 at 4:05
  • $\begingroup$ Interesting observation but not intentional and doesn't really answer the question. $\endgroup$
    – Astralbee
    Commented Apr 14, 2019 at 19:57
  • $\begingroup$ (And wasn't true for the original incarnation of this puzzle anyway.) $\endgroup$
    – Rubio ♦
    Commented Apr 15, 2019 at 0:35
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those are not ellipses. It is missing 3 letter words "how" and "are"

in

Poetry seemed too difficult this time
Tough how I couldn't find many rhymes
Ideas are just words, a literary crime.


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    $\begingroup$ That's just a bit of poetic license. Not the answer i was looking for in afraid. $\endgroup$
    – Astralbee
    Commented Apr 14, 2019 at 19:58
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The best I could come up with so far was that

the syllables follow a 10-8-10 pattern.

After additional research, I found

this site: http://poetscollective.org/poetryforms/tag/8-or-10-syllables/

It looks as though you were

trying to form a RenRhyme, but had already violated the rule mixing 8's and 10's.

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  • $\begingroup$ Interesting. I have never heard of a RenRhyme! But you are thinking along the right lines. $\endgroup$
    – Astralbee
    Commented Apr 16, 2019 at 13:30
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This poem doesn't feel right - what exactly is wrong with it?

It's totally a gamble but from looking at @TwoBitOperation's answer I noticed that:

After he arranged the poem so that you will be good haiku,From the words he downloaded, one can create a kind of sentence: difficult ,this time rhymes -a literary crime-This means that what causes the poem to be a literary crime is the rhymes

So if the question what were wrong?the answer is:

the rhymes

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  • $\begingroup$ You're thinking along the right lines but kind of back to front. You're looking for an answer in the words that need taking away... $\endgroup$
    – Astralbee
    Commented Apr 17, 2019 at 7:53
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According to @TwoBitOperation’s answer

“It seems to me that at first you wanted:

to write a haiku

but then

You also wanted it to rhyme, which ruined it

Explanation:

By removing the ending rhyming phrases from each line we get:

Poetry seemed too difficult this time
Tough...I couldn't find many rhymes
Ideas... just words a literary crime*

Which is a perfectly good haiku.

“

The words in the haiku make the sentence

Poetry seemed too tough... I couldn’t find many ideas... just words

Which is what is wrong with your poem.

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(@TwoBitOperation has done 99% of it, so if this is right I'm happy enough for them to edit it in to their answer and take the tick)

What's wrong with your poem is that

it's not a rhyming haiku

which is what you were "trying" to create

As @TwoBitOperation pointed out

it's not a haiku as the syllable count was thrown out by adding the rhyming bits. But removing those to make it a haiku means it no longer rhymes.

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Three lines.

It's probably a Haiku. So, you just need to make some changes.

Poetry seemed too difficult this time

Then use the shortest, and one without a need for a rhyme. A haiku.

Tough... I couldn't find many rhymes

Haikus don't need rhymes, so it's good for this.

Ideas... just words, a literary crime.

Too many words, just take some away.

So, here's my revision of the poem:

Poetry is hard I cannot find any rhymes A poetic crime.

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