# A Trivial Diagnosis

"It's the same stuff over and over, doc."

"Can you try to explain it?"

"OK. Well, at first... I—I feel high. My eyes are red, I can't breathe; I feel crazy!"

"What else?"

"There's this door... but, but I can't open it."

"That's a very common feeling. Go on."

"Right, so then, I think I'm falling—like, I'm just flying through the air. The ground is far below, and I should be terrified... but I guess I'm oddly serene about it?"

"Anything else?"

"I have an expensive suit."

"Ah, yes, the symbolism there is quite typical as well. What happens next?"

"Well, next... maybe I crash or something? Anyways, when I come to, I'm in rough shape. And, I'm over a cliff—I'm literally holding on for my life!"

"Is there anything else?"

"There's this train... and mountains."

"Of course, that's what I'd have thought. It's pretty clear what's happening here."

"Alright. Give it to me straight, what's wrong with me?"

Do you know the diagnosis?

EDIT: Solved by arbitrahj and Fifth_H0r5eman!

• rot13(V'z fher guvf vf nyy sebz n Wnzrf obaq zbivr, ohg V pna'g chg n anzr ba vg.) Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 15:15
• @ArnaudMortier no, but that genre of trivia might help you Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 17:24
• a nicely written creative riley! well done +1 Commented Mar 22, 2019 at 14:51

I think you are:

HALLUCINATING

"OK. Well, at first... I—I feel high. My eyes are red, I can't breathe; I feel crazy!" "There's this door... but, but I can't open it."

HAL (from @Fifth_H0r5eman) from 2001: a space odyssey

"Right, so then, I think I'm falling—like, I'm just flying through the air. The ground is far below, and I should be terrified... but I guess I'm oddly serene about it?"

"I have an expensive suit."

Lucy in the Sky (Floating) with Diamonds (Expensive Suit, like cards)???

"Well, next... maybe I crash or something? Anyways, when I come to, I'm in rough shape. And, I'm over a cliff—I'm literally holding on for my life!"

"There's this train... and mountains."

Nate from Uncharted 2 fits to complete the wordplay: Hal-Lucy-Nate= HALLUCINATE

@fifth-h0r5eman got 2/3 of them, so really credit there!

• This has got to be it. I got stuck in one medium when the parts aren't connected at all. Brilliant solution if it's correct though! Commented Mar 22, 2019 at 8:46
• It doesn’t adequately answer: I’m over a cliff... holding on for my life Commented Mar 22, 2019 at 11:23
• You've got it @arbitrahj! But, yes, I happen to be imagining a different rot13(Angr). We've already covered movies and music... I'll wait til you or someone else makes the connection to award the check! Commented Mar 22, 2019 at 12:57
• @arbitrahj,Rot13(Angr va Hapunegrq 2 fgnegf gur tnzr) hanging from a train on a cliff I believe (took a bit of googling with "Angr" to learn that Commented Mar 22, 2019 at 13:28
• That's it! Nice work @Fifth_H0r5eman and @arbitrahj! Commented Mar 22, 2019 at 14:38

I'm reminded of

2001's HAL 9000

Because:

OK. Well, at first... I—I feel high. My eyes are red, I can't breathe; I feel crazy!

HAL is a singular red eye, does not breathe and famously goes crazy

There's this door... but, but I can't open it

The classic exchange "Open the pod bay doors HAL", "I can't do that Dave"

Right, so then, I think I'm falling—like, I'm just flying through the air. The ground is far below, and I should be terrified... but I guess I'm oddly serene about it?

HAL is the AI of Discovery, drifting high above the ground. His personality is of extreme calm or serenity

I have an expensive suit.

Again, HAL is the entire ship, likely very expensive

Well, next... maybe I crash or something? Anyways, when I come to, I'm in rough shape. And, I'm over a cliff—I'm literally holding on for my life!

There's this train... and mountains.

This took collaboration with @arbitraj but it seems we need

Characters from several forms of media, leading this part to refer to Nate in Uncharted 2, who starts the game hanging from a train on a cliff

• You are on the right track! There's more to the answer but this is a great start. Maybe more than one thing is being described? Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 17:23
• I think the right track you found could be rot13("Fgnayrl Xhoevpx Svyzf, ohg V qba'g unir rabhtu zbivr xabjyrqtr gb fnl sbe fher") Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 17:47
• @arbitrahj that definitely seems to fit pretty well especially with rot13(Gur fuvavat nf jryy) Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 18:15
• He also shows up in the sequel? Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 20:33
• @NickVitha, your suggestion links to mountains, but it's been a long time since I saw it, is there more to it that that? Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 20:59

Partial answer to the second part, after Fifth_H0r5eman's first part:

"Right, so then, I think I'm falling—like, I'm just flying through the air.

This is referencing Major TOM from David Bowie's Space Oddity. Being in zero-G can be described as "falling-like" and flying through the air.

The ground is far below, and I should be terrified...

Space stations operate at least 100km above the ground. Also, in the lyrics, For here / Am I sitting in a tin can / Far above the world.

but I guess I'm oddly serene about it?"

This is a direct title reference... "oddly", plus being in space where there's no sound looking at the stars is probably very serene. Also, in the lyrics, Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles / I'm feeling very still.

"Anything else?"

"I have an expensive suit."

Space suits are definitely expensive

Just not sure what to do with

HAL and TOM

yet. There's a third part, but I can't get it yet.

Just to take things up a notch...

"OK. Well, at first... I—I feel high. My eyes are red, I can't breathe; I feel crazy!"

A bad summer night maybe? Thermostat broke. Room temperature touching 75. Not being able to sleep after a long day at work.

"There's this door... but, but I can't open it."

He should be pushing it out, and not pulling it in! Happens to me a lot! He's not paying attention. Not thinking; half-asleep.

"Right, so then, I think I'm falling—like, I'm just flying through the air. The ground is far below, and I should be terrified... but I guess I'm oddly serene about it?"

He falls from the bed?

"I have an expensive suit."

Surely nervous about an event the next day. Maybe his wedding, or graduation?

"Well, next... maybe I crash or something? Anyways, when I come to, I'm in rough shape. And, I'm over a cliff—I'm literally holding on for my life!"

Nightmare. A bad nightmare. He has just fallen down from his bed.

"There's this train... and mountains."

He's trying to remember a place that's very close to his heart. Somewhere in the middle of mountains, where he can only reach via train.

"Alright. Give it to me straight, what's wrong with me?"

Not being able to sleep. Anxiety. Thinking about an event the next day. Nocturnal lagophthalmos. His brain is asleep, but his eyes are open! Overthinking!

• Nice answer, but the solution is not a direct interpretation, it involves some trivia knowledge and some wordplay. Feel free to try again, and welcome to Puzzling SE! Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 20:11
• Sure. Thanks for the info. I will keep in mind. Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 20:11

You're a vampire?

My eyes are red, I can't breathe

In some versions of the lore vampires have red eyes and don't need to breathe

I'm just flying through the air

Again, in some versions vampires can fly

I have an expensive suit

Ditto, had enough time to accumulate wealth

The rest of the clues seem like they should point to a more specific answer...

• Not on the correct track. The answer is quite specific, and is a bit more complicated Commented Mar 21, 2019 at 17:25