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Can't be found east of the Mississippi River.
It moves but has no legs, wings or wheels.
It'll hurt you if you touch it.
I've seen this all my life but didn't think I'd ever have one.

What is it?

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Did you get

a Western Rattlesnake?

Can't be found east of the Mississippi River.

As the name implies, found in the Western US/Canada/Mexico

It moves but has no legs, wings or wheels.

A snake meets these requirements

It'll hurt you if you touch it.

or more specifically, if you touch it. But many people have stepped accidentally on one and it hurts.

I've seen this all my life but didn't think I'd ever have one.

Yes, not exactly a good pet

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Is it

The Mississippi river?

Can't be found east of Mississippi river

Obviously

It moves but it has no legs, wings or wheels

Rivers are in constant movement

It'll hurt you if you touch it

Not sure about this one, but maybe having something to do with currents and drowning?

I've seen this all my life but didn't think I'd ever have one

You've seen the river all your life but can't own it

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Is it

a Jellyfish ?

Can't be found east of the Mississippi River

guess there's no jellyfish in Mississippi river

It moves but has no legs, wings or wheels

it moves with its tantacles

It'll hurt you if you touch it

its venom is painful

I've seen this all my life but didn't think I'd ever have one.

who wants to have a jellyfish as a pet?

that's a weird present though

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