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I move rather oddly, my legs kinda suck
At least I have more than the average shmuck
A curse will make two of me, minus the head
But without the head I, of course, will be dead

A chicken being choked while wearing a suit
(A triple entendre! And two of them lewd...)
He knows me well, I'm embarassed to say
If you haven't yet met him, stay far away.

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Partial answer for the first stanza:

octopus

I move rather oddly, my legs kinda suck

yeah, looks kinda odd; octopus limbs have suction cups

At least I have more than the average shmuck

An octopus has eight limbs

A curse will make two of me, minus the head

A hex is a curse, but also a nickname for the hexadecimal system, which uses base-16 numbers; 16 happens to be the number of limbs two (headless) octopodes have.

But without the head I, of course, will be dead

Just like most other animals.


The second stanza has me completely stumped, though.

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  • $\begingroup$ Very nice! You are correct. The second stanza stumping you is probably something to be proud of, haha. It even admits it's a bit embarrassing and suggests staying away. "another word for chicken" + "clothing that chokes" is well known for... ahem... "featuring" this $\endgroup$ – Egor Jan 10 at 16:45
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I move rather oddly, my legs kinda suck At least I have more than the average shmuck
A curse will make two of me, minus the head
But without the head I, of course, will be dead

@Bass explained this verse already...

Sounds like an 8-tentacled sea creature, the obvious answer is an octopus.

The second verse...

A chicken being choked while wearing a suit
(A triple entendre! And two of them lewd...)

I believe this means:

A chicken is hen, and the thing that 'chokes' you when you are wearing a suit is a tie, so this must refer to Hentai?

The title "A riddle that needs crackin!"

Sounds like Kraken - a legendary octopus-like sea monster. Also something you wouldn't like to meet

Also...

I noted that you responded to me in Pirate speak, and The Kraken features in The Pirates of The Caribbean.

So is the entire answer:

Octopus Hentai? Or Tentacle Hentai? I kind of wish I'd never started this one...

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  • $\begingroup$ Yarr, matey, afraid ye be a bit off with the second stanza and title. The title clue be a bit more spooky than a mere egg, curse it to the briny depths whence it came from! $\endgroup$ – Egor Jan 10 at 16:51
  • $\begingroup$ Aha! You got the title! The second stanza is not related to it though. You can see my comment to @Bass for a hint. $\endgroup$ – Egor Jan 10 at 17:41
  • $\begingroup$ Haha, cock was actually the mislead. Try hen. And something around the neck that's most commonly worn with suits. $\endgroup$ – Egor Jan 10 at 23:13
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I think the second stanza is

Hentai - a hen, being choked by a tie while wearing a suit... also, the Japanese word for erotic comics/animation.

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  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Oh... So... If it's combined with the first stanza... It will become... Hmm... $\endgroup$ – athin Jan 11 at 9:08
  • $\begingroup$ This answer was rather.... passionate ;) $\endgroup$ – Feeds Jan 11 at 9:50
  • $\begingroup$ You guys! The answer is just the creature. The second stanza is only there to help you figure it out. Get your mind out of the gutter! $\endgroup$ – Egor Jan 12 at 2:26

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