# A Chwistmas Widdle With a Twist

Chwistmas is the same with or without me, though I do wish you all Mewwy Chwistmas...

I wish to be wid of my condition

I am named and famed with humiliation

A small happy square wheel! That's my goal

And not mewely an empty hole,

Gweeted and weceived with dewision

What am I, what do I want to become, and why?

HINT 1:

W -> R

• Is "squawe" a typo? – WAF Dec 26 '18 at 7:01
• is that a joke? @WAF – Omega Krypton Dec 26 '18 at 7:24
• Why the downvotes? – TheSimpliFire Jan 5 at 16:50

Answer 1 - CORRECT :) (Finally)

Are you

0 ?

Do you want to be

a small positive number >0

I wish to be wid of my condition,

Nothing?

I am named and famed with humiliation

You are something that means nothing

A small happy square wheel! That's my goal

a small happy square real? Coz no matter how you square 0, you end up with 0!
Or you want to look like this? "□" (Irrelevant)
according to OP: a small positive (happy) real number

And not mewely an empty hole,

? It's a hole (0)
and according to OP: Zero is the smallest non-negative Whole number (empty hole)

Gweeted and weceived with dewision

for being imaginary? (a dreamer?)
Zero is considered both real and imaginary, see this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imaginary_number

Hint 1:

W -> R and has implications of Whole Numbers -> Real Numbers (as suggested by OP in comment)

Partial Answer 2 - Rejected, but closer to answer than Ans 3

Are you

infinity?

Do you want to be

finite?

I wish to be wid of my condition,

Rish? Or Irish, referring to the Irish infinity knot?

I am named and famed with humiliation

Perhaps coz it’s endless?

A small happy square wheel! That's my goal

a small happy square real? So he wants to be on the coordinate plane?

And not mewely an empty hole,

? Two holes in its symbol

Gweeted and weceived with dewision

for being imaginary? (a dreamer?)

Partial Answer 3 - Rejected, but closer to answer than Ans 4

Are you

i?

Do you want to be

-1?

I wish to be wid of my condition,

Rish? Or Irish?

I am named and famed with humiliation

referring to the name i itself

A small happy square wheel! That's my goal

a small happy square real?

And not mewely an empty hole,

? Last bit...

Gweeted and weceived with dewision

for being imaginary? (a dreamer?)

Partial Answer 4 - Rejected, but closer to answer than Ans 5

omega (ω)

Fitting some lines:

I am named and famed with humiliation

omega - last alphabet in Greek

A small happy square wheel! That's my goal

Big letter Omega, (Ω) but is that square? Handwriiten, it looks like a wheel on ground, like this:

And not mewely an empty hole,

Perhaps the hole between the two curves, especially in handwriting?

Gweeted and weceived with dewision

The line beneath the capital Omega, as shown above?

Repetitive use of w:

omega symbol definitely looks like it

surd

I am named and famed with humiliation

name: similar to "absurd"

A small happy square wheel! That's my goal

And not mewely an empty hole,

there's nothing inside me...

Gweeted and weceived with dewision

dewision = division, but why?

Repetitive use of w:

surd symbol looks like it

• I think dewision is supposed to be derision – jafe Dec 26 '18 at 8:14
• @TheSimpliFire hoping to finish it before 2019, how's it now? – Omega Krypton Dec 31 '18 at 11:58
• Finally yes!! Congrats for your continuing efforts :) – TheSimpliFire Dec 31 '18 at 13:52
• Wow, never would have gotten this. I was sure it would be some word where you can replace a W with an R to get a more positive word :P Nice job! – jafe Dec 31 '18 at 15:15
• @jafe Sorry, just seen your comment! Hint 1 says W -> R and it has implications of Whole Numbers -> Real Numbers.... guess I should have said R+ but that might have given it away... :) – TheSimpliFire Jan 15 at 11:20

I believe this relates to

Irish dances

You wish to be a

Reel, used in square dancing

Because you are a

Jig, which is the stereotypical Irish dance and and a tool used for holding other tools (which occupy the empty space or hole in the jig)

I'm unsure about the math tag, but I think the numbers

1, 49, or 100

Come into play since they are

the smallest square happy real numbers ( https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_number )

• good guess, but what about the math tag? – Omega Krypton Dec 31 '18 at 6:05
• Edited in a weak guess! – Harfatum Dec 31 '18 at 6:48
• Close, in parts, but no :P – TheSimpliFire Dec 31 '18 at 9:26

From HINT 1:

W -> R

Ch(r)istmas is the same (r)ith or (r)ithout me, though I do (r)ish you all Me(rr)y Ch(r)istmas...

I (r)ish to be (r)id of my condition
I am named and famed with humiliation
A small happy square (r)heel! That's my goal
And not me(r)ely an empty hole,
G(r)eeted and (r)eceived (r)ith de(r)ision

Resulting:

15 total w->(r)s converted: 7before spoiler, 8 w->(r)s in spoiler

Wordplay possible definition:

Irish: assumed to be Irish people, people of Irish ethnicity, people born in Ireland and people who hold Irish citizenship
rish: abbreviation for Irish and Celtic related peoples.
rid: make someone or something free of (an unwanted person or thing)
-(r)hell rheel merely: just; only greeted: past simple and past participle of greet:to welcome someone with particular words or a particular action, ..
received: generally accepted as being right or correct because it is based on authority..
rith: is a relay race organised in support of the Irish language.
rith: From Middle English rīth (“a small stream”), from Old English rīþ (“a small stream”).
derision: contemptuous ridicule or mockery.

Repeated from spoiler and before spoiler:

rish: abbreviation for Irish and Celtic related peoples.
and
rith: is a relay race organised in support of the Irish language.
rith: From Middle English rīth (“a small stream”), from Old English rīþ (“a small stream”).

I wish to be wid of my condition
I am named and famed with humiliation
A small happy square wheel! That's my goal
And not mewely an empty hole,
Gweeted and weceived with dewision

Resulting:

3 on -ending
1 al -ending
1 le -ending

Which ended up with:

onalle an Indian song(?) :P

What am I, what do I want to become, and why?

My first guess is you're an Irish who would like to be the one giving Christmas wish. Because whether you gave a wish or not it's all the same :P

Second guess that you're Indian which don't want to continue being a dancer, named and famed with humiliation (with some praise). You would like to have a child (to play the wheel), don't want to be lonely and sad. Because you would be mocked if you dance until old :P

• nice guess, but what about the math tag? +1 – Omega Krypton Dec 31 '18 at 12:53
• @OmegaKrypton not sure what to do at all about math tag :( best I could is getting M,O,S from the numbers. – Mukyuu Dec 31 '18 at 13:17

What am I?

An Irish beard

What is my goal

to become a squirrel

Why?

Because squirrels aren't empty? and they kind of look like beards?

• Unfortunately it's not the answer. Good try though – TheSimpliFire Dec 31 '18 at 9:27