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After a tiring soccer match which I absquatulated because I got insulted all the time by my own teammates, I went to my regular restaurant and ordered a fancy sashimi “the agushi special” but the waitress said it’s ran out so I had no other choice but to order a regular set.

The waitress suggested a sake pairing but it’s really not my cup of tea, especially the ‘Amabuki’ brand they serve there, so I ordered my usual go-to drink, Macallan on the rock, but the drink they brought me taste so much sweeter than I remembered. I’m not even sure that’s actually Macallan.

The food service was so slow, I had to walk to the restaurant bar and ate all the nut snacks they have on the counter which was also taste very bad because they weirdly mix it with dried pumpkins. Suffice to say, I did not enjoy the meal at all.

Just when I thought my bad luck was over, when I got back to my apartment, my stoner roommate was getting high all day and forgot to water my plant! I decided to go to bed early and end this day asap but then after I revisioned my whole bad day in my head; I suddenly craved a taste of something. I thought to myself maybe that taste will finally fulfill what is missing from this bad day, and it did!

What did I eat?


Edit & hint I:

See italic.

Hint II:

I've omitted the tag since It was only somewhat relevant but perhaps it will be more useful as a hint.

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  • $\begingroup$ Maybe add another hint? Bookmarked this puzzle since it came out and it hasn't had any activity in almost a month :( $\endgroup$ – S. M. Dec 19 '18 at 17:48
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    $\begingroup$ @S.M. Thank you for putting up the bounty and for the hint; maybe my new comment to Astralbee's answer will be of use? $\endgroup$ – Chrone Dec 20 '18 at 22:30
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Chrone has pretty much given everything away, but there'd better be an answer tying it together. I am still pretty unsure of some of the details here.

The taste you were feeling the lack of was

butter.

In each of your frustrating incidents

there is some combination of X and butter-X (e.g., scotch and butterscotch), and having had, or had cause to think about, all those butter-X things made you feel that you needed butter too. (So, at least, I understand OP's comments after I expressed some confusion as to why these coincidences should make you want butter.)

You played soccer but absquatulated because you were insulted.

I remain rather confused by these. I wondered whether you were insulted by being called a butterball (soccer is called football rather than merely ball, but I guess one speaks of children "playing ball" for any number of different games, of which soccer would be one), but OP's comments suggest that that wasn't the idea. As for absquatulated, I guess it's not too far from meaning the same as "fly" -- but I don't see any butterflies in the text. There really ought to be a word beginning "butter" that's close in meaning to "absquatulate" and "insult", but I can't find one.

Your cup of tea isn't the Amabuki sake.

Amabuki sell sake made with various different "flower yeasts". I can't actually find buttercup on their list, but I assume it's one of them.

You ordered sashimi but didn't get the agushi special you wanted.

It seems like something rather indirect is going on here. Agushi means gourd seeds. There is a kind of fish that is sometimes called the "melon seed"; it is also called the Japanese butterfish. So you got ordinary Japanese fish instead. (This is the opposite way around from some of the other cases below: here you wanted butter-X but got X, but in the other cases you wanted X but got butter-X.)

You ordered a Macallan but got something too sweet.

You got butterscotch instead of scotch.

You ate some nuts but they were mixed with dried pumpkin.

You wanted nuts and got butternut squash (which isn't actually the same thing as pumpkin, but they're similar enough that you-in-the-story might have confused one for the other -- and OP informs me in comments that in some parts of the world they call it "butternut pumpkin", which I'd had no idea of).

Your stoner friend forgot to water your plant.

He was too busy with his weed to tend to your butterweed.

I'm really just filling in details already sketched by Chrone in comments, so if you like this answer I suggest you go and upvote Astralbee's instead.

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  • $\begingroup$ rot13(Ohggreonyy vf hfrq gb ersre gb n qvssrerag guvat urer. Nofdhnghyngr zrnaf "gb dhvg fbzrguvat noehcgyl", jung'f nabgure jbeq gung tvirf n fvzvyne frafr? Fnzr tbrf jvgu vafhyg. Fnfuvzv vf n svfu qvfu sebz Wncnarfr, fb vg znxrf zber frafr gung gur svfu vf abg Nzrevpna. Jung'f nabgure anzr sbe gurz? Ohggreahg Fdhnfu vf npghnyyl fbzrgvzrf pnyyrq Ohggreahg Chzcxva va Nhfgenyvn/ Arj Mrnynaq.) $\endgroup$ – Chrone Dec 22 '18 at 20:28
  • $\begingroup$ Now for the matter of why I want the taste of the answer, it's simply because all of the things I encountered today are its suffix and that's why "when I revisioned my whole bad day in my head; I suddenly craved a taste of it". From the puzzle standpoint: the answer is missing from all these suffix in spite of the presence of their meaning. $\endgroup$ – Chrone Dec 22 '18 at 20:58
  • $\begingroup$ Still pretty confused by the soccer insults and absquatulation. Have adjusted my answer elsewhere in the light of those comments. Sorry to be being slow on the uptake. $\endgroup$ – Gareth McCaughan Dec 22 '18 at 23:04
  • $\begingroup$ The ____ball is referring to a brand of _____? The similar word of "insulted" is both “smoked” and “roasted”; smoke is a clue for absquatulated and roast is for ____ball. About the Agushi or Egusi, here's a wiki article about it: Egusi. You may be overthinking this a little bit. Gur vqrn vf rirelguvat gung V qvq abg trg sbe nal ernfba be trg ohg gnfgrf onq be birenyy ehvarq zl qnl vf n fhssvk gung zvffvat vgf cersvk “ohggre”, be va gur zrgncubevpny frafr, vg’f zvffvat “gur gnfgr bs "ohggre”. $\endgroup$ – Chrone Dec 23 '18 at 1:40
  • $\begingroup$ According to Chrone's comments I feel like this answer comes closest to the intended one (flabalzf bs gur jbeqf va vgnyvp pna or cersvkrq jvgu "ohggre"), so I'll award it the bounty even though there's hasn't been an accepted answer yet. $\endgroup$ – S. M. Dec 26 '18 at 17:13
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Is the answer simply:

Butternut Squash

Because...

Throughout the story you mention the foods you wanted to eat, and the foods you were served but did not enjoy. You wanted to eat:

- "Agushi" - which is the seeds from cucurbitaceous plants like the squash,
- "Macallan" - which is a single malt whiskey, and whiskey is associated with butter, ie whiskey-butter, butterscotch.
- "Nuts" (but you got pumpkin seeds instead).

Put them all together and you get Butter-Nut-Squash.

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  • $\begingroup$ Wow, that’s very interesting! I didn't know about that menu before. You're so close and certainly on the right track but I ate just this one simple thing (that people don’t normally eat the way I do) and it's not even a meal. If you finally get the answer and I know you will, find all the other clues scattered around the story and explain how it connects to my answer then I’ll green-check it. $\endgroup$ – Chrone Nov 21 '18 at 16:00
  • $\begingroup$ I can't believe you didn't even provide the obligatory link! $\endgroup$ – Chowzen Nov 22 '18 at 1:28
  • $\begingroup$ @Chowzen There is a recipe but it's on a paywall site so I thought it was pointless. $\endgroup$ – Astralbee Nov 22 '18 at 8:16
  • $\begingroup$ You missed the "s" of sweet in saisacamsnpsp $\endgroup$ – mkinson Dec 20 '18 at 17:46
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    $\begingroup$ @GarethMcCaughan Maybe this will help you: | soccer, absquatulated/insulted | cup, Amabuki | sashimi, agushi | Macallan, sweet | nut, pumpkin | stoner (this one might be a bit misleading), plant | $\endgroup$ – Chrone Dec 22 '18 at 4:16
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Perhaps you ate a

squash.

Let's take a look at those italicized words.

After a tiring soccer match

You would have preferred to play squash.

which I absquatulated

A most unusual way to say "left". Perhaps that squa in the middle reminded you of something you wanted.

because I got insulted all the time by my own teammates,

Not sure about this (but your own teammates would be the squad, perhaps).

ordered a fancy sashimi

Not sure about this, but maybe you asked for squid? Or maybe sash... was close enough to squash to get your hopes up?

“the agushi special”

You wanted squash seeds. (And, probably coincidentally, AGUSHI and SQUASH have quite a lot of their letters in common.)

it’s really not my cup of tea, especially the ‘Amabuki’ brand they serve there, so I ordered my usual go-to drink, Macallan on the rock,

Not sure what's going on with these. But perhaps you wanted a gourd rather than a cup, and perhaps Scotch sounded enough like squash.

the drink they brought me taste so much _sweet_er than I remembered.

They brought you squash. But not that sort of squash!

and ate all the nut snacks they have on the counter

Perhaps you were thinking about butternut squash?

they weirdly mix it with dried pumpkins

A pumpkin is a kind of squash. (Not sure why that didn't scratch your itch.)

my stoner roommate was getting high all day

Not sure what this is about. (Coincidence of letters between HASH and SQUASH, maybe? I doubt it.)

and forgot to water my plant!

Probably a vine of the genus Cucurbita.

Credit where due: This is really a variation and elaboration on the first version of Astralbee's answer. If you like this one, you might consider upvoting that one too, even though that answer as it is now is miles off if this one is close to being right :-). Or find another answer of Astralbee's and upvote that.

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  • $\begingroup$ Perhaps there might be another word from Astralbee’s answer that would fit every clues better? Maybe it's something you and Astralbee already wrote in your answers but didn’t pay much attention to it. $\endgroup$ – Chrone Dec 21 '18 at 3:33

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