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Can you make a position where neither team can move anywhere?

You can place the pieces anywhere, since it doesn't have to be in an actual game.

This would be really easy, but I am so sorry to say that you have to use every piece.

The rules of chess apply, e.g. check, capture, and very bad moves.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It is so funny you thought that checkmate is the answer. No way.

Nobody is sorrier than me that I have to tell you unfortunate people that knights jump! Oh no!

For more rules on chess, search on Google.

If you need elucidation, ask in the comments, please.

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Here's one way of doing it. (Without pawns on the promotion squares, and with bishops on different colours.)

enter image description here

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I may be missing something, but doesn't a pretty basic strategy like this work? Seems too easy though, perhaps you had another requirement in mind?

example board

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    $\begingroup$ It's not clear if you're allowed to have pawns on the 1st and 8th rank for this puzzle. $\endgroup$ – aschepler Oct 2 '18 at 3:22
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    $\begingroup$ This approach doesn't work if you're required to have a legal position, because under the rules of the problem (i.e. all 32 pieces still on board), there's no way for the pawns of the two sides to get past each other. However, with the problem saying "it doesn't have to be in an actual game", it should be OK. You could easily move the pawns off the 1st/8th ranks here via swapping White's King with a Rook, allowing you to move White's d8 pawn elsewhere, then mirroring the White setup into Black's pieces. $\endgroup$ – ais523 Oct 2 '18 at 4:29
  • $\begingroup$ @ais523 the pawn of d7 would be free then though $\endgroup$ – Ripstein Oct 2 '18 at 11:12
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    $\begingroup$ @aschepler You can place the pieces anywhere, since it doesn't have to be in an actual game. - seems clear to me that this is allowed $\endgroup$ – Kaspar Scherrer Oct 2 '18 at 12:02
  • $\begingroup$ @Cashbee I saw that, but on the other hand, "the rules of chess apply". $\endgroup$ – aschepler Oct 2 '18 at 21:15

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