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So speaks Mr. Montague, missing no beat,
reverberating stutters in tropical heat:
"Each river mouth's built up, we've got naans to eat;
then, lodgings we have; a café would be neat!"

They're terribly moved by this repeated sound;
excited, loud yakking leaves Montague drowned.
Like Montague arrived at a truth too profound;
entire subcontinents his words astound.

Long since then, a cold month; bazaars clear away.
Boys watch some chess club game with cups of latte.
Up high in the mountains, an alluring café,
of gold award quality, looms clear as day.

"Drink! Savvy old Mr. M achieved his dream!"
Earnestly Montague earned his esteem.
Excited New Yorkers are hurrying to gleam
some secrets from this man's espresso machine.

Can you guess the name of Mr. Montague's upscale coffee house?

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  • 8
    $\begingroup$ Bravo! This is a masterpiece, it doesn't matter that it was solved so quickly. $\endgroup$ – Astralbee Oct 1 '18 at 13:08
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ It’s a very beautiful poem as well — @jafe, you’re quite good at rhyming while not losing any puzzle quality as well! $\endgroup$ – El-Guest Oct 1 '18 at 13:50
  • $\begingroup$ can I just guess it's starbucks? Since hole New York rushes it has to be $\endgroup$ – user52327 Oct 1 '18 at 14:24
  • $\begingroup$ Oh wow! That teacher was my science teacher in 6th grade! [One year ago] $\endgroup$ – Alto Oct 1 '18 at 16:02
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    $\begingroup$ @Jannis The funny thing is that that guess wouldn't be 100% wrong. $\endgroup$ – Gareth McCaughan Oct 1 '18 at 16:05
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If we

Look at the double letters in the story, they spell out STARK ROAST LOVERS,

Which is a fantastically punny name for a café!!


Edit:

My initial interpretation of @Gareth McCaughan’s comment was that

The initials of Mr. Montague are MM, which given @jafe’s talent for puzzle creation is surely not a coincidence (rather, more likely a hint that I initially missed)! (It is also worth mentioning that he shares a first name with one of Rowan Atkinson’s most famous characters!)


What @Gareth McCaughan actually meant was that

Mr. Montague refers to Romeo Montague, one of the star-crossed lovers from the Shakespeare play Romeo and Juliet.

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  • 6
    $\begingroup$ If only they served some seafood, too ... $\endgroup$ – M Oehm Oct 1 '18 at 12:42
  • $\begingroup$ @MOehm boo! hiss! terrible joke! ;p (sorry for also being terribly punny) $\endgroup$ – El-Guest Oct 1 '18 at 12:44
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    $\begingroup$ Yes, I know. I just thought it would be a waste to let parts of this fine puzzle go unnoticed. $\endgroup$ – M Oehm Oct 1 '18 at 12:51
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    $\begingroup$ @GarethMcCaughan: That's because I'm bad at puns. And that, when I looked at this, it wasn't the actual solution that stood out to me, but Mr Montague and river mouths and subcontinents and cold months and stuff. And there is more. No wonder this puzzle gets lauded for the secrets it hides while still having elegant rhymes. $\endgroup$ – M Oehm Oct 1 '18 at 13:54
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    $\begingroup$ @MOehm Perhaps you should post an answer explaining the other thing you found. You deserve a few Meaningless Internet Points for spotting it, and despite OP's apologetic tone it deserves highlighting. $\endgroup$ – Gareth McCaughan Oct 1 '18 at 14:07
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I think El-Guest has the correct name for Mr Montague's coffee shop. I've left a punny comment on that answer that has sparked a long and oblique conversation whose significance is not quite clear to many, I'm afraid. I'll explain.

When I saw this puzzle, I didn't find the actual answer, but something else. Mr Montague is, of course, Romeo from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Romeo is also the letter R in the Nato alphabet. Then I saw the river mouth. Then the cold month. And it clicked: Each line except the last one describes a code word of the Nato alphabet:

Romeo: So speaks Mr. Montague, missing no beat,
Echo: reverberating stutters in tropical heat:
Delta: "Each river mouth's built up, we've got naans to eat;
Hotel: then, lodgings we have; a café would be neat!"

Echo: They're terribly moved by this repeated sound;
Romeo: excited, loud yakking leaves Montague drowned.
Romeo: Like Montague arrived at a truth too profound;
India: entire subcontinents his words astound.

November: Long since then, a cold month; bazaars clear away.
Golf: Boys watch some chess club game with cups of latte.
Sierra: Up high in the mountains, an alluring café,
Oscar: of gold award quality, looms clear as day.

Romeo: "Drink! Savvy old Mr. M achieved his dream!"
Romeo: Earnestly Montague earned his esteem.
Yankee: Excited New Yorkers are hurrying to gleam
some secrets from this man's espresso machine.

This spells out: Red herring. Sorry. And that's what my comment was about: The "seafood" referred to the red herring, that's all. The fact that seafood has a double letter was coincidence.

But there's more:

I don't know how El-Guest found out about the solution. Certainly the double-a words naan and bazaar stand out, so that may have made El-Guest to look for double letters. But the first letters of each line form a reverse acrostic. (I'm sure the "upscale" is meant as a hint to read them from the bottom up.) That acrostic reads: See double letters.

And that's the long route to the café's name.

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  • $\begingroup$ As promised, please have some Internet Points! +1 $\endgroup$ – El-Guest Oct 1 '18 at 16:34
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    $\begingroup$ Thanks for posting this. This was indeed what I expected people to find first :) $\endgroup$ – jafe Oct 2 '18 at 4:51
  • $\begingroup$ It seems I'm 100% in your target audience for red herrings. Good misdirection and a fine, well-crafted puzzle! $\endgroup$ – M Oehm Oct 2 '18 at 5:20

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