Now, I grew up in South Carolina. Most people don't associate my home state with bootleggin', but, back in the day, this is where it all began. Ya see, the fastest cars could outrun those cop cars. So if you had the fastest hot rod out there, you could move 'liquid gold' and the feds couldn't do nothing about it. That's how NASCAR began! My grandpappy bootlegged in a Mitsubishi, hence the title of this post.

So one day, not too long ago, I put a full bottle of my finest, oldest hootch in the freezer. I'd been saving it for a long time, and a special occasion was coming up. Much to my surprise, a few days later I noticed that it had done been accosted! Little while later, I looked again, and now, it was half-gone! It seemed like someone or somethin' was a-swallerin' it up, day by day, little by little. Try as I might, I couldn't catch the thief. Then on that one day, the one I had been waitin' for, it was totally gone.

This time, though, I caught the sonofabitch.

Who was the culprit, and on what exact day did I figure out what had happened?

  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Are rude words actually allowed (just asking) :) $\endgroup$
    – Kevin L
    Aug 28, 2018 at 4:49
  • $\begingroup$ @KevinL What rude words are you talking about? $\endgroup$
    – Chowzen
    Aug 28, 2018 at 4:52
  • $\begingroup$ The "sonofabitch" or does that not count :) $\endgroup$
    – Kevin L
    Aug 28, 2018 at 4:53
  • $\begingroup$ More of one word $\endgroup$
    – Duck
    Aug 28, 2018 at 4:55
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @Duck It's generally frowned upon to give answers (or even partial guesses) in comments. $\endgroup$
    – Chowzen
    Aug 28, 2018 at 5:23

1 Answer 1


I think the date may have been

July 27th, 2018

and the culprit was the riddle author taking things too literally:

The special occasion was the much anticipated lunar eclipse: as it progressed toward totality, the moonshine gradually disappeared from the bottle too.

Here are a couple of the relevant clues, I may very well have missed some:

The flag of South Carolina has a really weird looking moon on it; clearly it cannot be a crescent moon, so it has to be an eclipse.

Mitsubishi makes a car called Eclipse.

And of course, the whole story is about making and selling self-distilled liquor, for which the riddle uses a couple of other nicknames, but cleverly avoids ever mentioning

"moonshiners" and "moonshine".

  • $\begingroup$ To be honest, I'm considering accepting this answer (it's very good and very close to what I was thinking.) That said, my intended culprit was not the speaker, the date was longer ago than this, and the days that passed were actually days, not minutes). $\endgroup$
    – Chowzen
    Aug 28, 2018 at 14:03

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