You overhear the following identifying statements from a gang of five strangers in a bar, whom you suspect to be siblings or at least working together. Unfortunately, you didn't catch the fourth remark, but you hope you can figure out that speaker's identity once you know who the others are.

  1. I'm such a bad writer that I spend my spare time with an axe.

  2. I really do like mincemeat, I swear!

  3. They all call me mean names because I come from Kansas.

  4. ...

  5. I'm a classical American with a Suomi name.

Who are these people?

The fourth might have said something like

I do like to drink German white wine with my ham.

    I'm such a bad writer that I spend my spare time with an axe.

This chap is a HACK.

    I really do like mincemeat, I swear!

By HECK, this guy minces his oaths.

    They all call me mean names because I come from Kansas.

What a HICK.

    I'm a classical American with a Suomi name.

Why hello, HUCK Finn.

So the fourth is of course

HOCK, hence my proposal at the start of this answer.

  • That's it, well done. Your checkmark is in the post. – Rand al'Thor Aug 21 at 16:21
  • That puzzle was better in the original Latin ... ;) – M Oehm Aug 21 at 16:28
  • It needs to be in a different order in Latin. – Gareth McCaughan Aug 21 at 16:36

Just to start off, could #5 be

FINN? or HUCKLEBERRY FINN, a classic American character with FINN as a name (the Suomi are Finnish).

3 could also be

DOROTHY GALE, from the Wizard of Oz

2 could be

SWEENEY TODD, the barber of Fleet Street whose victims often turned into mincemeat pies. It could also be HANNIBAL LECTER, if the theme is supposed to be American fictional characters...

I have no idea as of yet how it connects to anything else...or what collection it could be in.

  • This isn't the right answer, but it's partly along the right lines. – Rand al'Thor Aug 21 at 15:36
  • 1
    Could be some kind of rot13[oreel] involved. – jafe Aug 21 at 15:38

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