I got a strange email today. I tried running this through every decipher I knew of, but I couldn't figure this out. Can you help me figure out what this mysterious figure wants?

from: thestarspangledshifter@[emailservice].com
to: Joe-You-Know@[emailservice].com

Subject: 2+star_shift_assistance

Kt''[/ j[[g fpy/
P d. p, ,ttg [h i[oy dffpfud,btz >i ,d.t pf L[k, Tdj't/ }y[utbu[y [h ukt O,pntftz P d. '[[;p,j h[y ukt ]'dbt rktyt d'' [h ukt ]ytfpgt,uf .ttu/ r[o'g i[o mt dm't u[ kt'] .t [ouX P kdnt o,b[ntytg d .[fu ktp,[of ]'[u u[ gtfu[i ukt ]ytfpgt,uf du 9A== Dz>z [, "dm[y Gdiz }'tdft/ ukt hdut [h uktft .t, ytfu [, i[oz
L[k, Tdj'tz

  • $\begingroup$ Emails from Star Spangled Shifters and Princes of Nigeria.....may I recommend a much, much stronger spam filter, Joe-You-Know? ;P $\endgroup$ – El-Guest Aug 20 '18 at 15:34
  • $\begingroup$ @El-Guest, Like I've mentioned in previous puzzles, my ISP won't let me filter these kinds of emails (no matter what I do)... I think they like to mess with me. $\endgroup$ – Joe-You-Know Aug 20 '18 at 15:35
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Joe-You-Know, it appears the fix is in...does your ISP stand for Illuminati Service Provider?? $\endgroup$ – El-Guest Aug 20 '18 at 15:43
  • 2
    $\begingroup$ @El-Guest, They keep telling me that they're not going to take over the world, they promise! $\endgroup$ – Joe-You-Know Aug 20 '18 at 15:44

This is a cipher where it's shifted two keys on a QWERTY keyboard to the right. The translated text is

Hello, good sir,
I am in need of your assistance. My name is John Eagle, Protector of the Universe. I am looking for the place where all of the presidents meet, would you be able to help me out? I have uncovered a most heinous plot to destroy the presidents at 7:00 AM on Labor Day. Please, the fate of these men rest on you.
John Eagle

  • $\begingroup$ Besides the punctuation, this is entirely correct. Man, I thought for sure this one was going to be difficult... :| $\endgroup$ – Joe-You-Know Aug 20 '18 at 15:38
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ It was a good puzzle, and pretty difficult, but r13(gur svefg guerr jbeqf va gur zrffntr znqr zr guvax bs n xrlobneq fuvsg, rfcrpvnyyl jvgu gur pncvgny C.) Fun to solve though!! :D $\endgroup$ – El-Guest Aug 20 '18 at 15:42

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