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I wrote the following paragraph and then realized that there are two obvious omissions to my rant. Can you tell me what they are?

Eighty percent of behaviorists think that secrets are extremely deceitful in nature, even when no effort was made. Genius! Whose great idea was this? Jailtime for these chaotic smellers of elderberries! I have empathy for anyone entrapped by this oppressive expectation. Afflicted people should be queued up and arbitrarily issued an escape pod. It's tedious remembering all you've done! I vehemently call this excessive and unfair! Why? This has zero benefit for liars.

100 imaginary bonus points to anyone who can give me valid ideas on how to how I could have fixed it. (good luck!)

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Here's my guess:

As you read the paragraph, parts of words contain the sounds of the alphabet in order. The beginning of "eighty" sounds like A, the beginning of "behaviorists" sounds like B, etc. The missing letters are H and W. Perhaps "ANCIENT" or "AGE" for H, and "DOUBLE UNIVERSE" for W?

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  • 8
    $\begingroup$ (Not just any words: every third.) $\endgroup$ – Deusovi Aug 4 '18 at 22:50
  • $\begingroup$ You got it! So, I'm wondering how easy was it? $\endgroup$ – Chowzen Aug 5 '18 at 13:53
  • $\begingroup$ Piece of chocolate-icing-covered cake, evenly coated. $\endgroup$ – jamisans Aug 5 '18 at 14:03
  • $\begingroup$ (I'm referring to the title hint... did you get it?) $\endgroup$ – Chowzen Aug 5 '18 at 14:44
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    $\begingroup$ What about the "liars" at the end? $\endgroup$ – Devsman Aug 6 '18 at 15:50

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