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I'm $\bbox[#fff9c3]{\color{#fff9c3}{\textbf{NO PEEKING!}}}$ and I am alcoholic.
I sometimes also take pot; it makes me kind of casual.
And crack too, because it makes me highly skilled.
As you can probably see, I'm so long it's almost impossible,
and I turn into a slightly cocky prodigy whenever I'm feeling hot.

..So yeah, I got fired.

I tried to talk with my bank about my cheques bouncing, (I don't even have a safety cushion),
but that didn't help, and now I'm alone and completely exhausted.
Maybe one of you could spare me a buck?
Even a grape would do, it's pretty much the same thing to me anyway.
(I don't usually panhandle like this: whenever I have a mug, the police take me.)

Oh, you didn't catch my name?
Well, I'm parting now, so maybe you can ask an adult to help you figure it out later.

If someone would like to summarise all this insightfully, I'd be up with it.

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  • 1
    $\begingroup$ Has a correct answer been given? If so, please don't forget to $\color{green}{\checkmark \small\text{Accept}}$ it :) $\endgroup$ – Rubio Jul 2 '18 at 13:43
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Taking a pop at this:

SHOT

I'm $\bbox[#fff9c3]{\color{#fff9c3}{\textbf{NO PEEKING!}}}$ and I am alcoholic.

The blank representing no shot (a blank cartridge - to be filled) and a shot of spirits is alcoholic.

I sometimes also take pot; it makes me kind of casual.

A potshot is a casual attempt.

And crack too, because it makes me highly skilled.

A crack shot is a marksman.

As you can probably see, I'm so long it's almost impossible,

A longshot has very little chance of succeeding.

and I turn into a slightly cocky prodigy whenever I'm feeling hot.

A hotshot may be vain and cocky.

..So yeah, I got fired.

Shot fired from a gun.

I tried to talk with my bank about my cheques bouncing, (I don't even have a safety cushion),

Taking a cue from Matt this is a play on billiards, a bank shot and bouncing off cushions.

First strike: You're broke, bank account is shot. (With no cushion as springs/suspension are shot.)

but that didn't help, and now I'm completely alone and exhausted.

You're shot - tired and worn out.

Maybe could one of you maybe spare me a buck?

Buckshot - lead shot used in shotgun cartridges.

Even a grape would do, it's pretty much the same thing to me anyway.

Grapeshot is a mass of small metal slugs packed tightly together - similar to buckshot.

(I don't usually panhandle like this: whenever I have a mug, the police take me.)

Police taking a mugshot photo of you.

Oh, you didn't catch my name?

Perhaps out of earshot.

Well, I'm parting now, so maybe you can ask an adult to help you figure it out later.

A parting shot which is a snipe, ending with a low shot on needing a grown-up to solve.

If someone would like to summarise all this insightfully, I'd be up with it.

Upshot is the final or eventual outcome or conclusion of a discussion.

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  • 4
    $\begingroup$ This sounds like the kind of thing people around here would do. That has to be it. $\endgroup$ – Egor Hans Jun 26 '18 at 14:44
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    $\begingroup$ I think your explanation regarding the bank is off. Seems more likely related to billiards. $\endgroup$ – Matt Jun 26 '18 at 15:28
  • $\begingroup$ @Matt or basketball :) $\endgroup$ – Brandon Wyatt Jun 26 '18 at 23:41
  • $\begingroup$ Thanks @Matt, good spot for that connection to bank and I slotted in some explanation. $\endgroup$ – Tom Jun 27 '18 at 8:35
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    $\begingroup$ Very well done, you got every clue, and even a couple of unintended ones :-) $\endgroup$ – Bass Jun 29 '18 at 10:31

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