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I just bought my own island-country the other day, and, as ruler of my new land, I've decided to be a major dingus. I'm not gonna follow other nations in the world like some subservient lemming and use internationally accepted road signs, I'm gonna make up my own, but I need help.

I've set up a brainstorming contest for people to come up with my new road signs. The winner gets 1 free day* on my island.

I need the following:

  • I need a symbol that will show drivers that they need to come to a stop because another car might be coming.
  • In some stretches a curve will be ahead, so I think there should be a sign that tells drivers to slow down.
  • When really extreme road conditions are present there should be a huge warning!
  • Do you think I need a special sign showing upcoming intersections?
  • I think that backwoods roads (there'll be a few of those) should have some special designation.
  • I'll allow rolling stops at some intersections; I'll need a special symbol for that.
  • Feel free to mention anything pertinent that I've left out…

*Not Included:
- Taxes
- Airfare
- Food and Drink
- Balance of Two-Week Minimum Stay
- Sand Retrieval Service (No sand may be removed from the Island)

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    $\begingroup$ Isn't this lateral-thinking since the goal of the puzzle isn't stated? $\endgroup$ – NH. Jun 26 '18 at 19:51
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    $\begingroup$ @NH. A puzzle where the goal isn't stated would be an enigmatic-puzzle. A lateral-thinking puzzle, on the other hand, states the goal of the puzzle but requires creative reasoning to arrive at said goal. $\endgroup$ – Riley Jun 26 '18 at 23:21
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Each of the road signs represents

A punctuation mark present in its own description.

I need a symbol that will show drivers that they need to come to a stop because another car might be coming.

The period tells the reader to briefly pause reading because another sentence might be coming.

In some stretches a curve will be ahead, so I think there should be a sign that tells drivers to slow down.

The comma tells the reader to slow down a little bit in reading.

When really extreme road conditions are present there should be a huge warning!

The exclamation point is a huge warning.

Do you think I need a special sign showing upcoming intersections?

The question mark shows the upcoming "intersections." The different roads in the intersection are the different possible answers to the question.

I think that backwoods roads (there'll be a few of those) should have some special designation.

Parentheses are "backwoods roads," i.e. not part of the main sentence.

I'll allow rolling stops at some intersections; I'll need a special symbol for that.

A semicolon is not quite a period, and is considered a "rolling stop."

Feel free to mention anything pertinent that I've left out…

Ellipses indicate that a list is incomplete.

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  • 3
    $\begingroup$ How would anyone with a brain, and no access to Google, ever come up with this? $\endgroup$ – Zephyr Jun 26 '18 at 6:12
  • $\begingroup$ Rot13: va oevgvfu ratyvfu n crevbq vf pnyyrq n shyy fgbc. (link for ease: rot13.com ) $\endgroup$ – Chris Jun 26 '18 at 10:47
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    $\begingroup$ Raise your hand if you have no access to Google. $\endgroup$ – Chowzen Jun 26 '18 at 13:50
  • $\begingroup$ Also of note, (rot13) rnpu ohyyrg pbagnvaf vg'f vagraqrq flzoby $\endgroup$ – CDspace Jun 26 '18 at 16:00
  • $\begingroup$ @CDspace I already said that in the first spoiler. $\endgroup$ – Riley Jun 26 '18 at 17:04
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Riley's answer is great, but I wanted to further clarify one point, and add one that Riley missed:

When really extreme road conditions are present there should be a huge warning!

Exclamation points are for extreme emotions (in the road analogy, those equate to extreme road conditions).

*Not Included:

An asterisk points to things that are not included in the main text.

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