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Monday: My father threatened to disinherit me.
Tuesday: I wasn't picked for my team
Wednesday: I almost got married to the wrong girl.
Thursday: I signed on with a new team.
Friday: I adopted a 5-year-old boy.
Saturday: I inherited a bunch of money from an unknown relative.
Sunday: I finally got married—to the absent-minded girl of my dreams.

Do you know who I am?

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    $\begingroup$ The following Monday: I just pray for a boring week. $\endgroup$
    – Phylyp
    Commented Jun 25, 2018 at 15:29
  • 5
    $\begingroup$ @Phylyp And instead, your twin sister comes to visit for the worst holiday gathering in the history of mankind. $\endgroup$
    – hagfy
    Commented Jun 25, 2018 at 16:23

1 Answer 1

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I think you are

Adam Sandler

Monday: My father threatened to disinherit me.

Billy Madison

Tuesday: I got cut from the team. [EDIT: Oops, I mean I wasn't picked for the team]

Happy Gilmore

Wednesday: I almost got married to the wrong girl.

The Wedding Singer

Thursday: I signed on with a new team.

The Waterboy

Friday: I adopted a 5-year-old boy.

Big Daddy

Saturday: I inherited a bunch of money from an unknown relative.

Mr. Deeds

Sunday: I finally got married—to the absent-minded girl of my dreams.

50 First Dates

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    $\begingroup$ It would be amusing if the character played by your answer was actually the same person across all of your explanations for each clue :-) Reminiscent of how fans have posited that some Disney animated films inhabit a shared universe. $\endgroup$
    – Phylyp
    Commented Jun 25, 2018 at 16:38
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    $\begingroup$ @Phylyp ...like this one? $\endgroup$
    – Chowzen
    Commented Jun 25, 2018 at 21:17

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