# I think that most of them lived

Solve each of the five, then give the final answer.

1. Yard lumber is famous for the way it lies.

2. Idyllic children suspected* of killing relative (though it may have been unintentional).

3. Fugly steps with bulbous feet can't steal prince's heart.

4. Abhorrent thing bribes a hottie, eventually becomes her homogeneous, molecular mixture: i.e. her "cup of tea."

5. Redheaded formerly, girl is determined to "have more fun;" sleeps around in hairy ones' house.

??????

* Suspected by some. There are many who believe that they killed a stranger and the death of a relative (at the exact same time) was purely coincidental.

• Could the final answer not be rot13(Qvfarl, nyy fgbevrf va gurve pbyyrpgvba? 6 dhrfgvba znexf?) – OnlyF Apr 23 '18 at 6:42
• @chowzen: the steganography portion was actually discovered long ago ... – Rubio Jun 2 at 19:59

My updated answer, elaborating to include the whole puzzle:

Yard lumber is famous for the way it lies
Midori was first here I think:

The answer is Pinocchio. Yard lumber = wood, which Pinocchio was made from. His nose famously grew when he lied. On finally becoming a Real Boy he lived happily ever after...

Idyllic children suspected* of killing relative (though it may have been unintentional).
Credit to Rand al'Thor:

Hansel and Gretel certainly killed the witch, with their mother dying coincidentally at the same time. Either way, they end up with the witch's riches and live happily ever after...

Fugly steps with bulbous feet can't steal prince's heart.
Credit to Rand al'Thor:

The Ugly Stepsisters of Cinderella, whose bulbous feet would not fit into the glass slipper, so the prince was not fooled. No 'happily ever after' ending for them!

Abhorrent thing bribes a hottie, eventually becomes her homogeneous, molecular mixture: i.e. her "cup of tea."
Credit to Midori

Struggling a little with this one, though I agree with Midori again: The Beast could be fairly descrbed as 'abhorrent', bribes Belle to have her father freed, with her eventually falling for him, becoming her 'cup of tea' to live happily ever after. I haven't a clue about the homogeneous molecular mixture part of the clue though...

Redheaded formerly, girl is determined to "have more fun;" sleeps around in hairy ones' house.
Rand al'Thor was first:

The saying would have you believe 'blondes have more fun' - Goldilocks of course had blonde hair. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" cried the hairy one - baby bear - on discovering her still asleep in it's bed after her meal of porridge. She escapes scot-free after ransacking the poor bears' home, presumably to live happily ever after...

I believe the final answer for how most of them lived would be:

HAPPILY EVER AFTER. The ugly stepsisters are an exception

• Can you elaborate? – Chowzen Apr 23 '18 at 11:48
• My first effort was quite lazy, I've now fleshed it out. – Cammack Apr 23 '18 at 22:53
1. Yard lumber is famous for the way it lies.

PINOCCHIO (solved by Midori)

2. Idyllic children suspected of killing relative (though it may have been unintentional).

HANDSEL AND GRETEL: they unintentionally killed the witch, who may have been their stepmother in some versions of the story (thanks @Pugmonkey and @Einb).

3. Fugly steps with bulbous feet can't steal prince's heart.

I think this is not Cinderella but her STEPSISTERS: the "fugly steps" who can't steal the prince's heart.

4. Abhorrent thing bribes a hottie, eventually becomes her homogeneous, molecular mixture: i.e. her "cup of tea."

I suppose this could be the BEAST as suggested by Midori, but I feel like there should be more significance to the "cup of tea" clue.

5. Redheaded formerly, girl is determined to "have more fun;" sleeps around in hairy ones' house.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: redheaded but not in the way you think, and the "hairy one" is the wolf. GOLDILOCKS: a golden-haired girl trying to find the best fit and sleeping in the house of hairy beasts.

The final answer could then be

European folk tales? Maybe the Brothers Grimm, if all of the referenced stories were in their collection?

• For #4, perhaps (ROT13) Zef. Cbggf naq Puvc? From Disney's version, at least... – puzzledPig Apr 22 '18 at 6:25
• Could #2 be rot13 Unafry naq Tergry? or nah because it wasn't really a relative... – Einb Apr 22 '18 at 15:29
• @Einb I had exactly the same thought just before seeing your comment :-D – Rand al'Thor Apr 23 '18 at 7:26
• @Einb - Although I don't remember it this way, according to Wikipedia, the children's mother/stepmother in that story died at the same time as the villain, leading to speculation that they were the same person, at least metaphorically. I think your idea is a good one. – Pugmonkey Apr 23 '18 at 17:09
• Additional support for #5 - in some of the original stories, the home invader was not a girl, but a rot13(sbk) which has red hair. ("Redheaded formerly") – Pugmonkey Apr 23 '18 at 17:16

Yard lumber is famous for the way it lies

Pinocchio

Idyllic children suspected of killing relative

Hercules

Fugly steps with bulbous feet can't steal prince's heart

Cinderella

Abhorrent thing bribes a hottie, eventually becomes her homogeneous, molecular mixture: i.e. her "cup of tea"

Beauty and the Beast

Redheaded formerly, girl is determined to "have more fun;" sleeps around in hairy ones' house

Rebel

I still can't figure out what the final answer is

Not sure if this goes anywhere or if I'm just getting red herring'ed, but

If you rearrange the clues into 3,4,2,5,1 the first and last letters of each then spell out FAIRY TALES, of which these five clues are describing characters or events of, given the answers from Rand al'Thor and Midori.

The portion:

FAIRY TALES

First word:

anagram of the start of each sentence

Second word:

anagram of the end of each sentence

Elaboration:

    Yard lumber is famous for the way it lies.
Idyllic children suspected* of killing relative (though it may have been unintentional).
Fugly steps with bulbous feet can't steal prince's heart.
Abhorrent thing bribes a hottie, eventually becomes her homogeneous, molecular mixture: i.e. her "cup of tea."
Redheaded formerly, girl is determined to "have more fun;" sleeps around in hairy ones' house.

More here:

As @athin mentioned in the comments, the order in how the words FAIRY TALES are spelled out follows the order of 3-4-2-5-1.

When we visualise that, it becomes a spiral, like this:

Not sure if this is useful in anyway though...

• Nice! ROT13(Gur beqre sbe obgu ner guerr-sbhe-gjb-svir-bar, znlor vg'f abg cheryl nantenz ohg gurer vf n fcrpvsvp ernfba jul vg'f gur beqre?) – athin Jun 2 at 13:19

It does not fit the pattern of the other clues, but is #5 Redheaded formerly, girl is determined to "have more fun;" sleeps around in hairy ones' house.

Cyndi Lauper? At the time of "Girls just wanna have fun" she had (very) red hair. Captain Lou Albano was very hairy and played her father in the video.