I've just received this strange email from my boss at work. It's funny, because while he hasn't shown up in a couple days, I've never said anything about, like, kidnapping (honestly, it is a rather silly idea). It's also written not in his usual style at all. I'm not sure what to make of it. Maybe you can help me figure out what's going on here?
How are you doing? I know you’ve been worried about me this week. Don’t. Really — I’m perfectly all right, it’s not like I’ve vanished off the planet• I received an email from Mr. Gerbil today — bright kid, I like his writing style•
He said that you had expressed a fear that I had actually been… kidnapped• Honestly — isn’t that silly?
I’m disappointed. You really should know better. People don’t just get kidnapped – you’ve been watching too many Hollywood movies. Perhaps you should take a break, if you’re becoming paranoid like this.
I can understand why you jumped to that conclusion, however – disregarding correctness. I did disappear suddenly, indeed – I should’ve told you. But I’m just taking a much-needed beach vacation, nothing to worry about. Delightful.
Now. Yes, that silly prank letter from my friends was not really acceptable. I’ll talk to them about it. Promise.
But really, no need to worry – despite that letter demanding a ransom from the company’s many wealthy members. Pay no mind to it – as I stated earlier, it was just a practical joke. I don’t want you to pull out that white beard over me, dear Storm Crow. And hopefully I haven’t confused you too much in writing this letter here.
(I’ll be back by 20-3. Don’t worry.)
Mr. A. B. Mow