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I run an album shop. Yesterday, this cool customer with a shaven head, black sunglasses, and a neck chain walked into my shop. (I don't know his name, so let's just call him X.) One look told everything. Rich and cool.

But, X looked kind of familiar. I've many rich and cool friends, so it's very possible that he's one of them. And my memory's too dull. I'd to ask him myself.

I walked up to X and had a weird conversation.

Me: Hey, dude! I'm Shan. What's the name?

X (eyes widened as if in surprise): Pau...erm...paper. Give me a piece of paper.

Me (digging my pockets for a paper and then handing him): Here ya go.

At this point, X went to the counter and started writing stuff in the paper. He then handed it to me, proud and grinning — "Read."

My forehead crinkled in confusion. What I read was even weirder:

  • The name's not Cauliflower. I hate the vegetable like hell.

  • In this age of iEverything, he doesn't have an iFlower.

  • As the cat's pr-position is a hyped tale, it will not be taken into consideration, so will not the matter of the cat's rest.

  • The pea is in his front. What a cool star!

This time I got mad. Who the hell did he think he was?

Me: I said NAME!!!

X (with a ridiculous grin): Told ya, told ya...

Me: STOP! What the hell are you?

X (handing me yet another piece of paper): Read this man.

Me: I don't want to know, man. I don't like riddles. I just want to know what your friends call you.

X: Sandwiched between tin's shorthand, a sin without individuality,
is a magic letter and then the very beginning — it's a distortion
of your typical animal-lover's Logan, dear Shan.

And he walked out the shop. This was the end of our conversation. But my questions were left unanswered. This man looks so hauntingly familiar, so please help this poor guy out.

Who was this man? What's his full name? What does this man do?

If you're wondering what's in his second note, here you go:

  1. First half has the beginning for the middle. It's when you sing without singing. And it's what you do to someone's knuckles when you're feeling particularly volcanic.
  2. Second half is nearly a reverse, with a different middle. Serves as an alternative to each.
  3. Vow and take a well — well, make a list of all that. Don't forget to order.
  4. First for the first. Second for the second. Don't mix up — they are different. And I'm talking about middles.
  5. The start of the first half is what you get at 18. It's the end too.
  6. Retreat by two steps and you have the last and first of the halves.
  7. The word you form defines the performer of a form of music.
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    $\begingroup$ The name's Paper, Caul iLogan Paper $\endgroup$
    – William Nathanael
    Jul 14, 2017 at 4:02
  • $\begingroup$ @WilliamNathanael No. The clues don't point to that. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 14, 2017 at 4:39
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    $\begingroup$ The answer's obviously DMX, because if you ask for his name, X gon' give it to ya. $\endgroup$
    – Alpha
    Jul 14, 2017 at 9:07

4 Answers 4

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His name is

Sean Paul.

He is a

rapper.

He was behaving that way

because he's a famous person and he was very surprised you didn't knew his name. So he amused himself by puzzling you. :-)

See the answers of

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I'm going to have a go so I'll post my progress bit by bit.

The name comes from Cauliflower.
In this age of iEverything, he doesn't have an iFlower.
As the cat's pr-position is a hyped tale, it will not be taken into consideration, so will not the matter of the cat's rest.
The pea is in his front. What a cool star!

Gives us the first name which is:

Paul. X actually starts saying this after being asked his name (Pau...erm...paper. Give me a piece of paper.) This is confirmed to be a Surname of X
Cauliflower -iFlower = Caul.
I think a Cats 'Preposition' is C, which we ignore leaving aul.
Pea is actually P, giving us Paul.

A distortion of your typical animal-lover's Logan.

Logan is the real name of Xmen hero Wolverine which is an animal, some people think a wolverine is a Bear (Just spit-balling, might be irrelevant)

First half has the beginning for the middle. It's when you sing without singing. And it's what you do to someone's knuckles when you're feeling particularly volcanic.

Rap is something you do to someones knuckles. Is this also singing without singing?

Second half is nearly a reverse, with a different middle. Serves as an alternative to each. As before it, leads a condition to be followed.

Vow and take a well — well, make a list of all that. Don't forget to order.

First for the first. Second for the second. Don't mix up — they are different. And I'm talking about middles.

The start of the first half is what you get at 18. It's the end too.

R is the 18th letter of the alphabet. If this refers to age, there is quite a long list and it's all subjective.

Retreat by two steps and you have the last and first letter of the halves.

The word you form defines the performer of a form of music.

Possibly DJ?

Just working on the rest!

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  • $\begingroup$ +1 Definitely on the right track! Actually, Paul is the surname. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 14, 2017 at 9:11
  • $\begingroup$ And now I think I know who it is which will help lol. $\endgroup$
    – BreakingMyself
    Jul 14, 2017 at 9:12
  • $\begingroup$ In rap music, you speak not sing. And yet you sing because this is also music. CAT's preposition is AT, so the rest of CAT which is C will also not be considered. Cut out C from CAUL. But your way also works and is better. So keep it if you want. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 14, 2017 at 9:13
  • $\begingroup$ lol. You're a funny fellow. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 14, 2017 at 9:14
  • $\begingroup$ Damn it, I knew it was paul. Didn't realized you edited "Pau.. erhm.. Paper" in $\endgroup$
    – bolt997
    Jul 14, 2017 at 9:14
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Adding to @BreakingMyself and @puzzledPig's answers, I think his first name is

Sean.

Sandwiched between tin's shorthand, a sin without individuality

The chemical symbol for tin is Sn; 'sin' without an 'I' is also 'sn'.

is a magic letter and then the very beginning

'e' is sometimes referred to as 'magic e' when on the end of words; 'a' is the beginning of the alphabet.

— it's a distortion
of your typical animal-lover's Logan, dear Shan.

"animal-lover'S LOGAN" refers to SAEN which stands for Save Animal Explotation Now!. It's a distorted form of the name SEAN.

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  • $\begingroup$ +1! Well done! You're right. HINT: animal-lover'S LOGAN. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 16, 2017 at 6:31
  • $\begingroup$ I actually did wonder about the 's LOGAN' part, but... still couldn't think of anything that fitted. I'm sure I'm missing something really obvious. $\endgroup$
    – seasnake
    Jul 16, 2017 at 10:12
  • $\begingroup$ You're not missing anything obvious, so don't worry. Ever heard of Save Animal Exploitation Now (SAEN)? $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 17, 2017 at 13:22
  • $\begingroup$ Edited your answer. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 21, 2017 at 17:33
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Adding on to what @BreakingMyself has (and working off @Soha Farhin Pine's clues as well):

This man by profession is a

Rapper

Since

  1. First half has the beginning for the middle. It's when you sing without singing. And it's what you do to someone's knuckles when you're feeling particularly volcanic.

As has been said, "rap" is what you do to someone's knuckles, and can also be considered singing without singing. Plus it has the beginning letter of the alphabet - A - for its middle.

  1. Second half is nearly a reverse, with a different middle. Serves as an alternative to each.

"Per" is nearly "rap" backwards, just with a different middle letter. And "per" could take the place of "each" in some sentences.

  1. Vow and take a well — well, make a list of all that. Don't forget to order.

According to OP's comment, this refers to vowels - vow+well. This is just saying that the vowels of the word have to be arranged in alphabetical order.

  1. First for the first. Second for the second. Don't mix up — they are different. And I'm talking about middles.

Listing the vowels in alphabetical order: a, e, i, o, u. The first on list (A) goes to the centre of the first half (rAp). And the second on list (E) goes to the centre of the second half (pEr).

  1. The start of the first half is what you get at 18. It's the end too.

As mentioned above, R is the 18th letter of the alphabet. R is the start of "rap" (the first half of the word) as well as the end of "rapper."

  1. Retreat by two steps and you have the last and first of the halves.

Like OP said, P is two steps behind R, which is the last letter of the first half and the first letter of the second half.

  1. The word you form defines the performer of a form of music.

Mr. Paul seems to be a RAPPER.

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  • $\begingroup$ Correct! It's vowels. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 15, 2017 at 1:33
  • $\begingroup$ vow $+$ well $=$ vowel List the vowels. It must have an alphabetic ordering. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 15, 2017 at 3:32
  • $\begingroup$ The riddle has been updated. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 15, 2017 at 3:41
  • $\begingroup$ Edited your answer. $\endgroup$
    – Soha Farhin Pine
    Jul 21, 2017 at 17:39

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