Let me tell you a story, all about me.
I started triumphantly, showing signs of victory. Though the nameless masses of Internet troublemakers identified with me at first, and even here a recent post has accused me of initially supporting a blood feud, remember — I'm not a crook. When I think back on how my life began, it makes me feel like I'm five all over again!
What next can I tell you about myself? Nothing.
Well ok that's hardly fair; I've only told you half my story. How this next part goes depends on who you are. If you're a steak-and-potatoes person I might've had a bone to pick with you; but if you're a tea-and-crumpets sort, we'd have gotten along just fine. I lifted spirits with skiers at the bar and helped many get their work squared away. Yes, at this part of my life I was very popular; you probably saw lots of folks wearing my shirts.
But as with all things, my story too has its conclusion, and though I try not to think about it, warn you I must, so that you can avoid following my path to ruin! Alas, I must admit it is too painful to think about all this, so I am not actually going to say how my saga wraps up — I find that I grow anxious just thinking about how crazy things can turn out, right as you think all is going smoothly! From good luck to ill tidings in an instant, so it was with my story at its last. Though I can only hint at what calamity brought about this sad finish, I think you, my companions in sorrow, can quickly work out this thing which I wish to warn you of, but cannot put into words for you.
Now that I have told you all about me,
What is the meaning of my story?
Solve my clues! Don't hesitate!
Or you'll find that it's too late!
The answer is a single, four letter word.