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You're sitting at home reading a magazine and you came across a cool article, but there's a misprint. Most of the page is blank. You can make out that it's someone plugging an autobiography from the scattered words that halfway made it onto the page, but you don't see a name. Can you tell who it is from the paragraph that printed?

en, people ask about my early career. Well, I was an actor, a guy with a face for every stage, you might say. There was this guy who used to upstage me all the time, a real jerk that always made me feel like second place, a fraction. After a time, even that was a dream. I was supporting number 2 to the world, but I was third rate at best in my heart. I tried to push myself after that. I had fifty-six new roles over the next decade, though the massive crowds dried up after a few short years. I still have anger issues over it, obviously. That smarmy, British thumbs up Simon Cowell gave me... but I'm sure everyone's read about that in the paper. I just flipped and he ended up missing a leg. I can't stand the unamerican. If I were able to bleed, I would bleed red, white, and blue. Ha! But... you can read more in the book. I don't wanna give everything away. I will share this though. I've been acting again, going on tour. I'm starring in America the Beautiful, playing all the best venues from Hot Springs to Tuskeegee. The next stop is go

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Not fully reasoned out yet, but:

Quarter (coin)


Reasoning:

A face for every stage

It's always had a "heads" side(?)

A fraction

1/4 of a dollar - supporting number 2 might relate to not being a full dollar as well?

Fifty-six new roles over the next decade

The 50 state quarters + District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, Guam, the United States Virgin Islands, and the Northern Mariana Islands. (1999-2009)

Massive crowds dried up after a few short years

Collector mania faded out over time?

British thumbs up Simon Cowell Gave me...flipped

Did Simon Cowell flip a coin for something? Can't find any news about it yet, but I'm not able to fully research right now. Found a tenuous connection in a news article talking about him missing a leg of an X-factor tour, but can't figure out how a quarter was involved.

Bleed red, white, and blue

A reference to being a US coin?

Starring in America the Beautiful

America the Beautiful Quarters

Playing all the best venues from Hot Springs to Tuskeegee

Quarter #1 in America the Beautiful: Hot Springs National Park
Quarter #56 (last one): Tuskegee Airmen National Historic Site


Further explanation from Travis Kindred:

Stage refers again to the states on the new quarters. Second and third place refer to the chemical composition of the coin changing over time from silver to a silver-colored bronze. Simon Cowell interviewed with hitquarters a decade ago, but his name was mainly meant to obscure the fact that a thumb moving upward caused the coin to flip. His missing leg is a reference to quartering, an English criminal punishment that left a person cut in four pieces. The leg is only one quarter.

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Daffy Duck

That is what my guess is.

Upstaged by a jerk, namely

Bugs Bunny.

Simon Cowell was in the paper for saying his co-host

had the mind of Daffy Duck.

Seems there must be at least 56

Daffy Duck shorts.

Hot Springs to Tuskeegee sounds like the kind of trip he might take if he takes

that wrong turn at Kookamonga.

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  • $\begingroup$ Well reasoned, but incorrect. I hate to say this after all of your effort, but the jerk is irrelevant and Simon Cowell's reference is the most obscure clue of them all. $\endgroup$ – Travis Don Kindred Nov 19 '14 at 21:25

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