I was on a trip and had just got a new phone. I had to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and didn't bother to turn on the light. As I was sitting, my phone rang almost giving me a seizure. I answered immediately but there was no one there. No caller id. Odd. I hadn't given anyone my new number.
Near Granite Hall I stopped to watch my old friend Alvin who was doing his Elvis impersonation in Forsyth Park. While I was watching, someone goosed me! I glanced quickly over my shoulder and saw an attractive young woman. Surely she hadn't... it happened again! I turned around and was about to say something when it happened a third time and I realized it was my phone again. I had put it on vibrate and stuffed it in my back pocket. No one on the line and no caller id.
In Granite Hall I delivered the talk that was the point of the trip. Afterward, I paused to speak to David Lord who was one of the sponsors. DRING DRING DRING DRING! I cut David short. DRING DRING DRING! I fumbled the phone to my ear. Nothing.
At my hotel I plugged in my phone to charge and took a shower. Naturally, I had just stepped in when the phone rang. DRING DRING DRING! Oh, man! DRING DRING DRING! I will kill you for this! DRING DRING DRING! I leapt for the phone: silence.
But wait, I told that out of order. What is the correct order?
Bonus: who am I?
Clarification: reordering goes by paragraph. I have removed the misleading "again" in the final sentence of a couple of paragraphs. It was meant in the context of "telling in the wrong order" but I can see now it was a bad idea.
None of the incidents are in the correct position. And I changed the title. :-)
Kudos to Gareth McCaughan who solved this puzzle in spite of a series of errors on my part. In his honor I present:
The (spoilerish) story of my big stack of blank sheets of paper.
This happened in the place with a larger entrance where Lamont Cranston and Kent Allard trade tall tales.
DRING! I decided to draw parallel lines on each sheet. DRING! I thought I lost them but after a quick search they turned up.
DRING! I took them to my unlit, windowless basement and made a book out of them!
As I said, this happened in the place with a larger entrance where Lamont Cranston and Kent Allard trade tall tales.