# Don't duck this story!

As you prepare to get on board, I (the omniscient story-teller) noticed three other passengers that will be with you in this plane.

The first one was writing a letter:

I have to tell you that something disastrous happened today and I do not know if you will believe me. My dear, precious friend, what have they done? A fortnightly topic on animals?

I do not think they realize how broad it would be. Damn, we are going to be our own end! As if serial downvotes were not enough (I heard many recent puzzles were affected...). Sometimes, I really want to quit puzzling.

But fortunately, the community seems stronger than ever and ready to face this tricky challenge. May the force be with us!

Oh, I almost forgot to talk about the previous fortnightly topic - you may know, the one which was about geography? You must see the excellent puzzle from Levieux. This is why I stay!

My friend, I think that we will arrive soon in Tanzania. Ah, I am sorry, I forgot to tell you that I was on vacation and I had to travel to Switzerland! But I am telling you, it feels so good to be back home, period. I hope you will come one day! My wife is always on the run, earning money (I do not). Well, see you very soon!

The second one called a flight attendant:

-${}$ Miss, could I have some refreshment?
- Of course, Sir, what would you like?
- No idea, what do you have?
- Kiwi juice, mango juice, banana ju-
- Excellent, I'll have this one! Thank you.
- You are welcome, sir.

Hey, I thought for a second that I recognised him, but I didn't...

The last one was complaining on its own:

Geez, I hate people. Why are planes always so crowded? I should have stayed home. And look at my neighbor! He looks so happy! I know this kind of people: you give him a pat on the back, then tell him he is a good guy and he's the happiest in the world! I despise them, and all the others and I wish I did not... Ooooh, what is this magnificent red thing inside the cabin? And IT'S MOVING? LET ME GRAB IT!

Can you tell me who are these three people? And, most important, who are you?

A little guideline: the tag is only useful in the very end.

• I think I know who all three of them are, but I've already repcapped for the day :-/ – Rand al'Thor Dec 13 '16 at 16:22

## First person

Solution method:

count the words in each sentence, and convert the number to a letter by its placing in the alphabet. The letters corresponding to each paragraph form a word.

Solution:

20, 8, 5
11, 9, 14, 7
15, 6
20, 8, 5
10, 21, 14, 7, 12, 5

i.e.

THE KING OF THE JUNGLE, which is a LION.

## Second person

Solution method:

just take the first letter of each line of the exchange.

Solution:

MONKEY.

Edit: huh, it turns out that "Hey, I thought for a second that I recognised him, but I didn't..." is meant to clue us to something similar but not quite the same as what we've just found. So the actual solution is

APE.

## Third person

Solution method:

just read the text directly and see what kind of animal it's referring to.

Solution:

the neighbour who "looks so happy" and "you give him a pat on the back, then tell him he is a good guy and he's the happiest in the world" is a DOG. The speaker, who "hate[s] people" (more antisocial than a dog), despises dogs, and wants to grab brightly-coloured moving objects, is clearly a CAT.

## You

Solution method:

the OP says we need to use anagrams at the very end, so let's put together the three solutions found so far and look for an anagram of "LION APE CAT".

Solution:

OP edit: You're not a passenger on this plane, you are the pilot because you are...
AN ACE PILOT.

• it was an ape. making you, clearly, an ALPINE TACO. Yum! – Rubio Dec 13 '16 at 17:57
• Impressive solving, but how did you figure out what needed to be done for the first puzzle? Were there hints that guided you to doing so? – Xenocacia Dec 14 '16 at 1:05
• @Xenocacia It's one of the things I normally check for in steganography puzzles (having used it myself on occasion). Something about the way the letter was written did clue me in, but it's hard to pinpoint what ... some ways of phrasing things which felt a little contrived, as though certain words were being shoehorned in just to make the word count match? – Rand al'Thor Dec 14 '16 at 1:09

Partial -

Second para says -

Miss, could I have some refreshment?
Of course, Sir, what would you like?
No idea, what do you have?
Kiwi juice, mango juice, banana ju-
Excellent, I'll have this one! Thank you.
You are welcome, sir.

which is

MONKEY

You are a

STOT which means a bullock according to this. Reason (the omniscient story-teller) anagrammed to STOT

• But "you" and "I" aren't the same person! – Rand al'Thor Dec 13 '16 at 17:39
• Oh, so may be the bullock is one of them :D – Techidiot Dec 13 '16 at 17:40
• Nah. I think you're just barking up the wrong tree with that one :-) – Rand al'Thor Dec 13 '16 at 17:41
• Hehe :D Yeah. Very much I guess. May be I discovered a new animal all by myself. :) – Techidiot Dec 13 '16 at 17:41