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I have two strange friends; they don't seem to get along, and they say phrases that make no sense.

The following are some phrases my first friend has said:

great trees feared axes
caged war gave a start
tears were dared

And the following are some phrases my second friend has said:

join my monopoly ploy
mull on my onion opinion
look upon my mill on my hill

Can you identify my two friends?

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    $\begingroup$ ACDEFGRSTWX vs HIJLMNOPUY (dunno about BKQVZ) $\endgroup$ – Rand al'Thor Aug 30 '16 at 22:09
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Your two friends are

Your left hand and your right hand

Because

All of the words your first friend said can be typed with just your left hand on a standard US keyboard with standard touch-typing technique. All the words your second friend said can be typed with just your right.

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    $\begingroup$ Welcome to Puzzling, and good answer! (Also, thanks for using spoiler syntax and explaining your reasoning!) $\endgroup$ – Deusovi Aug 30 '16 at 23:30
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    $\begingroup$ Though the real riddle is why he's friends with both his hands :-) $\endgroup$ – Teco Aug 31 '16 at 12:49
  • $\begingroup$ @Deusovi It seems that Joe should have got 390 rep, although I think he capped the limit. I hope he will get the rest tomorrow. $\endgroup$ – EKons Aug 31 '16 at 15:38
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    $\begingroup$ I don't know. I know plenty of people who use exactly one finger for the entire keyboard... $\endgroup$ – user24580 Aug 31 '16 at 15:48
  • $\begingroup$ True, which is why I said "with standard touch-typing technique". :-) $\endgroup$ – Joe Sep 1 '16 at 8:27
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Fun answer.

As Joe said the answer is:

Your left hand and your right hand

And since:

The Right hand just use the vowels IOU he is telling you that he owes you something. RUN! HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.

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  • $\begingroup$ How are those three linked with your right hand [censored] you something? $\endgroup$ – EKons Aug 31 '16 at 15:40
  • $\begingroup$ @ΈρικΚωνσταντόπουλος Search wikipedia for the three letter acronym preceding the part you censored. (trying to avoid spoilers as well) $\endgroup$ – Pablo Aug 31 '16 at 18:39
  • $\begingroup$ @Pablo Oh, I thought it was a real word... $\endgroup$ – EKons Aug 31 '16 at 18:48

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