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It's the first riddle I've ever made up myself so hopefully it's not too vague, too hard or too easy.

Long long ago in a place by the sea
William the drunkard got down on one knee
"Please wife" he said. (With barely a slur)
"It's not my fault i'm late, it's all down to her!"
"T'was a witch in the hills." he invented wildly
"So you're not drunk at all?" she said mildly
"Just a nip on my way to get over the scare
She was 30 feet tall but clothed only in hair!
Her skin was dead white yet smooth as best silk,
And she threatened her blood would sour our milk!
She would entice kids away with sweet treats, if you please,
Which when bitten would launch the most terrible bees!"
"I've heard enough" said his wife. "I'll go get the men"
And so they all trooped uphill to the glen.
With pitchforks and torches and shouting aplenty,
All taken together were a mob over twenty.
And when they got there what did they see?
Nothing at all, but a _____________!

EDIT: Since no one has it yet, though very close, here's a pair of clues - and I apologise in advance for the poor rhyme style!

If a clue is something you need,
Then let us consider a seed.
There is some confusion,
(though it's an illusion),
On its crunch you don't want to feed.

If you can't get it from that one, here's another:

But if that clue's far too opaque,
Don't stress and get a headache.
Consider instead:
In a roll like bread,
or sometimes even in cake!

Edit 2: One more clue from me:

This one's a miracle - according to many,
It clothed the first people not charging a penny,
Oft rich purple colour - but unlike a plum,
There's no fruit for you here but don't feel glum,
Its deliciously sweet and ready to eat,
A false fruit can sometimes be hard to beat!

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  • $\begingroup$ The rhymes are far from perfect (number of syllables varies greatly), but I like it :) $\endgroup$ – Vucko Aug 19 '16 at 15:54
  • $\begingroup$ Thanks :) I had to take a little artistic license with it for it to fit as well as I could. $\endgroup$ – David Aug 19 '16 at 15:59
  • $\begingroup$ I'm pretty sure its a type of tree $\endgroup$ – Beastly Gerbil Aug 19 '16 at 16:13
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    $\begingroup$ Its 'a small bowl of cereal' I'm sure of it $\endgroup$ – Avik Mohan Aug 19 '16 at 17:07
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    $\begingroup$ @David No, don't post the answer. Since there is an answer which you said is very close, you might want to add a hint before giving away the right answer. $\endgroup$ – IAmInPLS Aug 21 '16 at 10:27
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I think it is a

Common fig tree

She was 30 feet tall but clothed only in hair!

Kind of looks like a giant woman with hair only:

enter image description here

Her skin was dead white yet smooth as best silk,

Fig trees have smooth white bark.

And she threatened her blood would sour our milk!

The sap of fig trees is an irritant to human skin.

She would entice kids away with sweet treats, if you please,

Figs are yummy and sweet!

Which when bitten would launch the most terrible bees!

But beware the fig wasp who can lay eggs within the figs.

If a clue is something you need, Then let us consider a seed. There is some confusion, (though it's an illusion), On its crunch you don't want to feed.

I think this refers again to the wasps, because the crunchy seeds can contain wasp eggs.

But if that clue's far too opaque, Don't stress and get a headache. Consider instead: In a roll like bread, or sometimes even in cake!

Now we're talking.

enter image description here

This one's a miracle - according to many,
It clothed the first people not charging a penny,

A fig leaf covered Adam and Eve.

Oft rich purple colour - but unlike a plum,
There's no fruit for you here but don't feel glum,
Its deliciously sweet and ready to eat,
A false fruit can sometimes be hard to beat!

The "fruit" of a fig tree is not technically a fruit, but rather a false fruit. Still delicious though. Wasps aside.

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    $\begingroup$ Spot on! Nice pictures too. But don't look up what happens to the wasps if they don't make it out, assuming you want to eat them again. $\endgroup$ – David Aug 24 '16 at 21:36
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Hmm, this is a long shot but here's the my guess

A Tualang Tree

She was 30 feet tall but clothed only in hair!

The 'hair' would be the leaves of the tree

Her skin was dead white yet smooth as best silk,

The Tualang tree has smooth white bark

And she threatened her blood would sour our milk!

The Tualang sap is an irritant, would not want in milk

She would entice kids away with sweet treats, if you please, Which when bitten would launch the most terrible bees!"

One tree can host 100 honey bee hives

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  • $\begingroup$ Here's a picture: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koompassia_excelsa $\endgroup$ – TTT Aug 19 '16 at 18:32
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    $\begingroup$ very close but not quite right.. you're in the right ballpark though! $\endgroup$ – David Aug 20 '16 at 20:25
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Based on @AndrewF's answer, this could be :

a gum tree (a kind of eucalyptus)

She was 30 feet tall but clothed only in hair!

Referring to the leaves

Her skin was dead white yet smooth as best silk,

White gum is a common name of many Eucalyptus species, all of which have smooth white bark.

And she threatened her blood would sour our milk!

Eucalyptus oil will sour your milk for sure!

She would entice kids away with sweet treats, if you please, Which when bitten would launch the most terrible bees!

Eucalyptus produces honey, and honey is produced by bees.

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    $\begingroup$ Sorry but not quite again! try the extra clues, they might help :) $\endgroup$ – David Aug 22 '16 at 15:51
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Sounds like

A willow tree

She was 30 feet tall but clothed only in hair!

They have long leafy fronds that grow right down to the floor

Her skin was dead white yet smooth as best silk,

The wood is, I think, commonly used for cricket bats, which tend to be very white

And she threatened her blood would sour our milk!

The sap is full of salicylic acid

She would entice kids away with sweet treats, if you please, Which when bitten would launch the most terrible bees!

Not sure. It does produce some nectar that's used by bees, and apparently willow mash is something people have eaten in the past

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    $\begingroup$ Not quite again, I deliberately avoided using the word 'long' in the description of hair. $\endgroup$ – David Aug 22 '16 at 15:53
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The answer is a

Ficus carica or Common fig

She was 30 feet tall but clothed only in hair!

Large shrub that can grow to 7-10 m (30ft)

Her skin was dead white yet smooth as best silk,

White bark

And she threatened her blood would sour our milk!

Sap contains pectin which will gel milk

She would entice kids away with sweet treats, if you please,

The "fruit" of the fig tree is sweet and delicious

Which when bitten would launch the most terrible bees!"

Hints:

But if that clue's far too opaque,
Don't stress and get a headache.
Consider instead:
In a roll like bread,
or sometimes even in cake!

Fig bread or cake

This one's a miracle - according to many,
It clothed the first people not charging a penny,

Fig leaves are often used in statues of gods for modesty (clothes)

Oft rich purple colour - but unlike a plum,
There's no fruit for you here but don't feel glum,
Its deliciously sweet and ready to eat,
A false fruit can sometimes be hard to beat!

Figs are a sweet false fruit with purple skin

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    $\begingroup$ quite right, though i've ticked the second answer as it had more clues correct $\endgroup$ – David Aug 24 '16 at 21:33

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