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Be gentle! I'm trying something new... I'd like a full translation/interpretation, and bonus points if you spot the pattern. I expect it'll be easy as pie so think of it as a race.

A VERY drunken, foreign, genius chemistry professor needs help locating something (we think) but between his broken English and drunken rambling no one can understand a word he's saying. Can you?

Here's what he's been saying:

burp hare hic sit burp on?

ha hic vie loss hic tit?

tomb hic any ban hic gone my head!

ewer hell hic ping?

goo hic die knee hic ding it!

well like hic aunt fine hic dad hic rum aye had.

it hic snot in burp reusable plaice.

it was knot four may hic king mew hic sick.

oar fall hic burp incensing two it.

it hic snot force hic topping burp auto-beagles.

its hole hic dings hic tough butt eye dome hic burp trinket.

it burp dose knot flow hic tanned aye thing hic kit no hic sow to sew hic barmy up.

aye kneed burp accrue hic are!

the cue hic burp risk burp shone add hic rum!

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1 Answer 1

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Pretty sure I missed most of these, but it was fun to try.

burp hare hic sit burp on?

1. Where's it gone?

ha hic vie loss hic tit?

2. Have I lost it?

tomb hic any ban hic gone my head!

3. Too many bang on my head!

ewer hell hic ping?

4. Were you helping?

goo hic die knee hic ding it!

5. Good, I needing it!

well like hic aunt fine hic dad hic rum aye had.

6. Well, I can't find that drum I had.

it hic snot in burp reusable plaice.

7. It's not in the usual place.

it was knot four may hic king mew hic sick.

8. It was not for making music.

oar fall hic burp incensing two it.

9. Or for listening to it.

it hic snot force hic topping burp auto-beagles.

10. It's not for stopping automobiles. (credit BunjiquoBianco)

its hole hic dings hic tough butt eye dome hic burp trinket.

11. It's holding stuff, but I don't drink it.

it burp dose knot flow hic tanned aye thing hic kit no hic sow to sew hic barmy up.

12. It does not float and I think it knows how to sober me up. (credit kayzeroshort)

aye kneed burp accrue hic are!

13. I need a cure here! (credit Gareth McCaughan)

the cue hic burp risk burp shone add hic rum!

14. The cure is on a drum. (credit Gareth McCaughan)

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  • $\begingroup$ That got me grinning. You've got about 60% correct. +1 $\endgroup$ Jun 15, 2016 at 20:55
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    $\begingroup$ I think 12.5 is "it knows how to sober me up" $\endgroup$ Jun 15, 2016 at 21:04
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    $\begingroup$ line 6: "drum" line 8: "music" $\endgroup$ Jun 15, 2016 at 21:10
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    $\begingroup$ I think the last two lines may be "I need a cure", "the cure is on a drum". I guess there's a reference here to something (drum-shaped, called "Drum", I dunno) that I'm not familiar with and that is meant to be some kind of cure for drunkenness. $\endgroup$
    – Gareth McCaughan
    Jun 15, 2016 at 23:24
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    $\begingroup$ 4: You were helping? $\endgroup$ Jun 16, 2016 at 12:59

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