Vandalism these days comes in many strange and varied forms.
I told you about my nephew's film club. This weekend it was the turn of my niece to visit.
She was suggesting that there are people at her university who go around fitting footwear to plants. This sort of behaviour is clearly damaging certain species, so she has been lending her support to a Quinine Tree Boot Ban. They obviously provide entertainment while they are protecting the flora, as she told me about some of the songs they were singing:
Some sort of adhesive plant resin. (2'1,1,4,2,6)
Unconventional rubus fruit. (8,9)
The poor man had been in a terrible accident and had spokes sticking out of his cheeks and forehead. (7,4)
I'm moving out. Every day here I find faeces and I won't tolerate it. (1,3'1,4,4,3)
I resent being charged for making cakes and pies. (1,4,2,4,4)
You'll find it if you consult the cartographers on Mount Olympus. (2,3,3,2,3,4)
Someone choked on a borlotti. (6,4)
St Peter's eggs are… (4,2,6)
Inhaling a surfeit of tobacco is inevitably fatal. (3,4,5,4,4,3)
Footwear from a seaside resort. (8,4)
Take care when you are feeding the ducks that you never drop the bag. (3'1,4,4,5)
Praying for Her Majesty to wake up bald. (3,5,3,5)
When I told my wife about it later, she just looked at me and shook her head.
Question: What had I done wrong?