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What am I?

If you are me, you'll wait around more than the average bloke.

If you are me too much, too oft, it gets beyond a joke,

For few are me when they should be, when they'd like to be first,

And when they are my opposite, they all think themselves cursed.

All the fruit I ever eat is sadly green and firm.

I burn my tongue at every meal, but at least I have the worm.

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Answer:

You are 'early'.

If you are me, you'll wait around more than the aveage bloke,

Early arrivals must wait longer for the others

If you are me to much, to oft, it get's beyond a joke,

Early party arrivals can be annoying?

For few are me when they should be, when they'd like to be first,

You must be early to be first.

And when they are my opposite, they all think themselves cursed,

Late folks are not happy being late.

All the fruit I ever eat is sadly green and firm,

Unripe = not ready = too early

I burn my tongue at every meal, at least I have the worm.

Eating too soon can burn you. Early bird caught the worm.

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    $\begingroup$ I think the joke part might be referring to a...um...particular male inconvenience. $\endgroup$ – Mike M. Jun 5 '16 at 4:12
  • $\begingroup$ Mike M. - Yes, that seems very plausible. $\endgroup$ – Paul Beckingham Jun 5 '16 at 4:16
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    $\begingroup$ +1 Well done. The answer is correct, the explanations are good. 'Too much too oft' was really just a continuation of the previous line. $\endgroup$ – Brent Hackers Jun 5 '16 at 6:08

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