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My friend is soon going to an asylum. This is devastating. I have known him for years and he's a fine, sane man. But he sent me a note and it doesn't make any sense...

Has he really lost his mind or does this note have a meaning behind the madness?

Eye morning hair
Doctor me police
Bee ring hmm eye death aw ree
Thay kiss

Please, this is urgent. Is there any way I can help him?!?!?

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I'm not all the way there, and this might be way off the mark, but here's my interpretation...

Eye morning hair

I'm mourning her / I'm here

Doctor me police

Talk to me please

Bee ring hmm eye death aw ree

Being/bearing my idea sorry. UPDATE: @Tonkleton's suggestion "Bring my diary" is more likely to be correct.

Thay kiss

Thanks

Obviously not correct or finished, but it helps if...

You imagine a person saying it with a swollen tongue/their tongue stuck out.

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  • $\begingroup$ Hm, I like where this is going. Could the third line be "Bring my diary"? $\endgroup$ – Tonkleton May 18 '16 at 23:13
  • $\begingroup$ That sounds great! I was stuck on reading "th/aw/ree" as "sorry", but yours makes more sense! $\endgroup$ – user3462628 May 19 '16 at 0:52
  • $\begingroup$ Swollen tongue? No, but line 3 and 4 are correct. Apparently my friend was very cryptic and random. He mustn't have wanted anyone else to understand. $\endgroup$ – warspyking May 19 '16 at 3:30
  • $\begingroup$ The first 2 lines are more cryptic than pronunciation based :P $\endgroup$ – warspyking May 19 '16 at 3:32
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    $\begingroup$ I take it the first line is actually "I am here" (a.m. = morning). $\endgroup$ – Gareth McCaughan May 19 '16 at 13:49

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