The telltale code

Question

The other night, while writing this Java class that could be serialized into a socket, I fell asleep and had a weird dream.

In my dream, when I ran the program, the socket and the class object suddenly came alive. I tried to walk away from them but they followed behind.

As I desperately tried to change the program, I found the following strange piece of code in it, having no apparent rhyme or reason:

charge();
queue(factorial((26 * 275903).toAscii()));

h = m_socket[0].object;
assert( h.locale == "en_GB" );

if (true)
{
    b = h.extractInternalStructure();
    g = hash(b);
    r = b.read(g);
    // m_socket[1].send(r);
}

Which story had I been dreaming?

Answer 1

I don't have time to flesh out every detail right now, but the story is clearly

Jack and the Beanstalk.

Some of the clues that give it away:

A charge is a fee, queue is FIFO, and the ascii gives fum!, i.e. "Fee fi fo fum!".
The variable h represents Jack, an Englishman (locale = en_GB).
Be he alive or be he dead (always true), I'll grind his bones (extract internal structure and hash it) to make my bread (b.read(g)).

Some more:

"m_" is a coding convention to denote a "member". m_socket[0] denotes the nose and the "h" is the "object" of its sense. m_socket[1] denotes the mouth, and the comment line implies that the result would be eaten.

In the back-story:

A "jack" is a type of socket and a Java "bean" is a special type of Java class/object that can be serialized (among other properties). In the story, the two follow behind, i.e. "stalk" the author. Thus: Jack and the bean stalk!

Answer 2

Only a partial answer, but I think this is a play on the meaning of the word

socket

because

UK mains sockets have blue (neutral), green (earth) and red (live) wiring (b, g and r being the variables in the if block). In computer programs a socket is an endpoint for a network connection but I think that's misdirection here.

Other notes:

The if block

would always be executed because the condition is true.

factorial()

probably indicates an exclamation mark

queue()

might mean to reverse the order of the characters since a queue is a FIFO (first in first out) so "!fum" rather than "muf!" ?

Answer 3

Answer:

it is your day at work!

Explanation:

charge();

this can be your breakfast / cup of coffee at home, to charge you for the day or the fee you pay to enter the highway

queue(factorial((26 * 275903).toAscii()));

26 * 275903 translates to "uf" in Ascii, its factorial is "uf!" and this is what you say while you're in queue to get to the office by car (you must be driving on a busy route)

While these 2 points make perfectly sense to me, the next ones are a bit stretched....

h = m_socket[0].object;
assert( h.locale == "en_GB" );

You're a programmer and you pull the project? ... and it's written in English

if (true)

Every day

b = h.extractInternalStructure();  
g = hash(b);  
r = b.read(g);  
// m_socket[1].send(r);  

You take the source code, you review and muddle it, update it and you (don't) push it