I guess you are...
I put pieces together but i'm not a strategist.
You hold together pieces of paper
I give advice but I'm not a life coach.
You make recommendations on how to improve the document I am composing.
I come along with a message but I'm not a Prophet.
You pop up with that little text bubble. OR - You show up when I am writing a letter and say, "Looks like you're writing a letter!"
I am not religious but I am twisted.
Paperclips are, by their very nature, twisted.
No, I'm not your teacher, parent, nor a doomsayer.
Your suggestions are no replacement for the advice of a teacher or parent. Despite how most people may feel, your appearance does not denote the end of the world.
I am not who you think I am.
Clippy's official name is Clippit.
One obnoxious office assistant.