# The longest paragraph competition [closed]

You must write a paragraph using valid English words (either British or American, but not both in the same answer) and proper grammar. No proper nouns or colloquial/slang words allowed. Quotation marks not allowed. Numbers and punctuation (including necessary and unnecessary ones) are not a problem, they won't be counted in the score.

The sentences need not make sense with respect to each other. For example, The lion ate the deer. The house is on fire. The ghost fell asleep. It is he who filed the papers last night. However you cannot make logically impossible or incomprehensible statements like My kid ate the washing machine. The lion jumped over the moon. The taxi crossed the century. (I know there is no fine line between what is and what isn't logically comprehensible, so I'll leave it to the users to decide with their up/down votes on the more ambiguous answers.)

The paragraph must include the letter a atleast once, b atleast twice, c atleast thrice and so on. Yes, that means it should have x atleast 24 times, y atleast 25 times and z atleast 26 times.

Winning: The post with the lowest number of characters (a-z only) wins. If two posts have the same score, then the older one wins.

Reward: I will give a 200 rep bounty for the highest scoring post on 5 Jan 2016.

## closed as too broad by Deusovi♦, Gilles, Peter Taylor, ghosts_in_the_code, GamowJan 2 '16 at 21:47

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

• Dear OP if you are gonna count the number of letters in the answer, then you are the most wonderful person i could have ever met..:p However there are other ways too to count. – manshu Dec 30 '15 at 13:06
• However the question doesn't seem like a puzzle to me. Its more like a challenge. – manshu Dec 30 '15 at 13:12
• "Logically impossible or incomprehensible" is vague. What if the washing machine was from a dollhouse, or one of those dis-assemble-able eraser toys? You can come up with a lot of explanations with varying 'reasonableness', and there's no clear line. – Deusovi Dec 30 '15 at 13:35
• So whichever paragraph you have that's best should just be replicated 5 times, perhaps mixing a few nouns around so that it's different enough and yet still comprehensible? – Dr Xorile Dec 30 '15 at 23:25
• I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it is not a puzzle. – Peter Taylor Jan 2 '16 at 14:48

Dr Seuss, eat your heart out!

Why try fix a dozen very quick, quiet fox zoo boxes? We've zero prize mix boxes. Why try fix very quick, quiet, zero-size fox zoo boxes? We've mixed jump sizes. Why try fix very quick fox zoos. Jump! We've size zero mixes. Why living pigs try to jump? We've mixed very quick, size-zero zoos! Why we've mixed a dozen, quick prize zoos? Why tax prize trunk zoos? Tax two prize zoos! Two sixes equals twelve. Six & six equals a dozen. Queen Jim swung liquid quite quietly. Queen Jim swung quite quickly. Texas town zoo sky view gave us sun & vast joy. Tax my vast, square, box trunk, my next vowel. Next vowel? You put us up. Sky jet put frozen breeze up. Citizen, now go worry. July: I've given Jack, Joe, John & Joy a job supplying pus. Have, wave, jar, & pull are verbs.

• +1 Thanks for pointing out another flaw in the Q. I'll edit to disallow this. – ghosts_in_the_code Dec 31 '15 at 12:58
• Edited. I feel like Dr Seuss. – Dr Xorile Dec 31 '15 at 19:15
• +15 The Q is closed, so I've accepted your answer just to give you some rep. – ghosts_in_the_code Jan 3 '16 at 15:21