11
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Dear friend,

You've heard the malicious gossip by now, and
Although I didn't start it, I must confess that
Several times I actively participated in it.

I've come to think you are very self-centered,
Since it seems like every time you talk about me,
You feel the need to also mention yourself!

Still, I write this now in guilt and distress.
I want you to know that I'm part of the solution
And not part of the overall larger problem.

Forgive me- I know you can identify with me, so
Think about the good times when we first met:
The sense of self-empowerment you had then!

Though I'm a pro, and I was in the top 10 in my class,
Oddly, I feel larger and more together when I'm alone.
When I'm around friends I feel small and disconnected.

In loving apology,
me


What wrote this apology letter?

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2
  • $\begingroup$ I think the real question is what did it write it to? $\endgroup$ Aug 13, 2015 at 18:33
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ @Raystafarian u $\endgroup$ Aug 13, 2015 at 20:06

1 Answer 1

11
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The letter I

You've heard the malicious gossip by now, and
Although I didn't start it, I must confess that
Several times I actively participated in it.

I doesn't start "the malicious gossip," but is in the phrase 3 times

I've come to think you are very self-centered,
Since it seems like every time you talk about me,
You feel the need to also mention yourself!

You mention yourself == I think etc or general i, I confusion

Still, I write this now in guilt and distress.
I want you to know that I'm part of the solution
And not part of the overall larger problem.

I is in "guilt" and "distress," and is in "the solution," but not in "the overall larger problem"

Forgive me- I know you can identify with me, so
Think about the good times when we first met:
The sense of self-empowerment you had then!

I identify as I. (self empowerment referring to babies realizing they exist separate from the world sort of)

Though I'm a pro, and I was in the top 10 in my class,
Oddly, I feel larger and more together when I'm alone.
When I'm around friends I feel small and disconnected.

Pronoun is a professional noun apparently. 9th letter. I (larger and in one piece) is I but in words it's lowercase i (two parts --disconnected --, smaller).

So the true answer:

Going hamateur wrote it, cause I did.

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6
  • $\begingroup$ under 7 minutes. nicely done! $\endgroup$
    – JLee
    Aug 13, 2015 at 16:50
  • $\begingroup$ "Though I'm a pro, and I was in the top 10 in my class, Oddly, I feel larger and more together when I'm alone. When I'm around friends I feel small and disconnected." was a big hint but for some reason I was thinking about it being eye. I think it was cause of "I know you can identify with me" $\endgroup$ Aug 13, 2015 at 16:52
  • 1
    $\begingroup$ @JLee Edited for the profesional nouners in the house $\endgroup$ Aug 13, 2015 at 16:53
  • 3
    $\begingroup$ The answer is not in vowels. xkcd.com/1562 $\endgroup$ Aug 13, 2015 at 17:02
  • $\begingroup$ I feel like the together/alone explanation could be better. $\endgroup$ Aug 13, 2015 at 17:13

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