Disaster has struck for Leporidae throughout the fantasy realm -- a mass carrot famine has wreaked havoc upon all existences but our own. Because of this, 25 of the leading fantasy bunnies, rabbits, and hares from across the universes have banded together and traveled to Earth, setting up camp in China, the world's largest exporter of carrots. Here, they've organized into groups of five, with each group leaving at a designated time to collect carrots from wherever they can and bring them back to their stores, in hopes that they'll be able to collect enough carrots to bring back to their own universes and satisfy the needs of their people.
Unfortunately, it seems that a member of the Herbivorous Apiaceae Reconnaissance Enforcement (or H.A.R.E., for short) has gone rogue. During one of the missions yesterday, someone pushed poor old Uncle Wiggily down the rabbit hole, eliminating a member of the force. You're a private investigator, hired by the Enforcement as a whole. Your job is to determine who ruthlessly murdered the old sap.
Each Leporidae knows some information about the other Leporidae. Unfortunately, there are too many of them to ask each one individually about every single other rabbits, as time is of the essence before the killer strikes again. As such, you've had the suspects line up in alphabetical order, and you plan to interrogate them on the suspects to their immediate right and left. This should give you enough information to piece together the entire situation and discover the killer.
Unfortunately, you know that the killer will being lying to you to throw you off his/her scent. This means that some information might be contradictory to what you already know -- no matter. All you have to do is find out whose account of the previous day doesn't add up, and you've got your killer, right? You chuckle. If only it was so simple.
To make matters worse, you were on the phone with two of your suspects who witnessed the murder take place. They masked their voices, so you don't know which two of your suspects they were. All you know is that they were in the group directly after the murderer and Uncle Wiggily, and witnessed the murder as they were prepping for their departure. Sadly, the murderer caught wind of your call, and you've received an anonymous tip that he or she has threatened the lives of the two whistle-blowers. This can only mean that they'll be lying through their teeth as well.
Even further complicating things, someone has been raiding the carrot stores during the night, stealing a few carrots for his or herself. While you aren't here to investigate that, the perpetrator will still be terrified of being caught, and of course that means he or she will also be lying. If you can, catch that culprit as well, though it's not your main task.
To sum up what you know: There were five groups, each consisting of five rabbits, leaving at five different designated points in the day. The murderer was in the same group as Uncle Wiggily, and offed him during their scheduled time frame. Four people will be lying to you: the murderer, the two witnesses from the group directly after the murderer, and the carrot thief. Catch the murderer and lock him up for good, and give the carrot thief a good slap on the wrist.
Suspect: Br'er Rabbit | Mood: Surprisingly arrogant
You circle your first suspect, pacing slowly. He stands with a confident smirk on his face. "So, Br'er Rabbit," you drawl. "yes, sir?" He mocks. You stop in front of him, facing him head-on. After a good staredown, you peek all the way down the line of suspects.
"What can you tell me about the White Rabbit?" You ask. Br'er Rabbit smirks. "Well, I know he was in my group," the rabbit responds haughtily. You spit on the ground by his feet, but he's unfazed.
"How about this joker next to you -- Bugs Bunny, is it?" Br'er snickered. "Well, I know he was in a group with Ruby, which I'm sure didn't make Lola too happy." You grimace. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Bugs Bunny | Mood: Inquisitive
"What's up, Doc?" You're greeted with as you approach your next suspect. "I ain't got time for your games," you snarl back. Bugs Bunny munches on a carrot.
You jab your thumb towards the rabbit you just interviewed. "Whaddya know about Br'er?" Bugs crunches his carrot a couple times, then swallows. "Well, he wasn't in my group, that's for sure."
You sneer. "How about this Bunnicula character?" Bugs stops and thinks. "He was in a group with two Rabbits. I'm sure of it!"
You frown. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Bunnicula | Mood: Thirsty
Pacing up to your next suspect, you're taken aback by his rather long and pointy teeth. He notices. "All the better to bite you with, my dear," he snarls, then laughs. "Just kidding. They're for carrot juice." You breathe a sigh of relief.
"Tell me somethin' about this joker on your left." Bunnicula looks to his left. "I mean my left," you correct. He looks to his right. "You mean Bugs? Yeah, he was in a group with two Rabbits. I know that for sure." You pause. "What's with this 'two rabbits' nonsense I keep hearin'?" Bunnicula explains, "Rabbits have some alpha dominance issues, so we try to keep them at either one or two per group." You nod with moderate understanding.
"Let's move on," you drawl. "How about Buster Baxter?" Bunnicula thinks for a moment. "Yes, he was in the third group to leave."
You scowl. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Buster Baxter | Mood: Youthfully oblivious
You round upon the youngster. "Hello, sir!" He announces cheerfully. You hold yourself back from shutting him up. After all, he's just a kid.
"You familiar at all with Bunnicula?" You ask. He nods back. "Sure am! And I know for a fact he was in the group directly after the White Rabbit. You smile. "Good to know."
Moving on, you ask, "How about Crusader Rabbit?" Buster giggles. "He's one of the most alpha of all the rabbits! I know he wasn't in a group with another Rabbit."
You feign a smile. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Crusader Rabbit | Mood: Unwaveringly confident, likely to a fault
"Stand at ready, sol-DIER!" You bark at the rabbit. He stands stiffly and attentively. "Good. You may relax." He breathes a sigh of relief as you prepare your questions.
"What do you know about one 'Buster Baxter'?" You inquire. "Sir, Buster Baxter was not in a group with Uncle Wiggily, sir!" The bunny barks back. You appreciate the respect.
"How about one 'Cuddles'?" You continue your interrogation. "Sir, Cuddles was in the last group of the day, sir!" The bunny responds.
You smile again, this time with undeserved confidence. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Cuddles | Mood: Grizzled
You nod at your next suspect with respect. "You look like a man who's seen some things," you note. "That I am, comrade," he sighs. "That I am."
"Let's get down to business," you offer. "Tell me about Crusader Rabbit." Cuddles nods solemnly. "That Rabbit was in my group."
"How about the Easter Bunny?" You ask, continuing on. "That Bunny was in the second group of the day," he says stoically.
You nod back at him with respect. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Easter Bunny | Mood: Devious
You approach your next suspect with caution. "Got any eggs on ya?" You prod. The bunny looks at you with shifty eyes. "Nnno. Why would I?" You spit on the ground. "No reason."
"What do you know about Cuddles?" You quickly fire off. The bunny is taken aback, but answers with haste. "I know that Cuddles was in a group with two Rabbits." You groan. Another 'two rabbits' clue.
"What about the Energizer Bunny?" You fire again. This time, he isn't caught off-guard. "He was in the fourth group of the day, for sure."
You spit on the ground again. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Energizer Bunny | Mood: Energetic
"Could you stop banging that infernal drum?" You yell over the clanging. The bunny shakes his head. "Sorry, but I just keep going and going and going." You scowl.
"What do you know about the Easter Bunny?" You yell over the racket. The Energizer Bunny yells back, "He was the only Bunny in his group!" He keeps drumming.
Covering your ears, you scream. "HOW ABOUT LOLA BUNNY?" The Energizer Bunny screams back, "SHE WAS IN MY GROUP!!!"
Fed up, you grab his drumsticks and snap them in half. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Lola Bunny | Mood: Competitive
As you approach your next suspect, you straighten your tie. "How are you doin' today, sweetheart?" She wrinkles her nose. "Ew, no thanks." You remain unfazed.
"Tell me about the Energizer Bunny." She rolls her eyes back in thought for a second. "Yeah, he was definitely in my group."
"And how about the March Hare?" You continue with no pause. She chuckles. "Well, he wasn't the only Hare in his group, I know that much!"
You smile and wink, much to her disdain. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: March Hare | Mood: Maniacal
"Tea?" Your next suspect offers you as you approach. You look him up and down. "You don't have a teapot." He stares off into the distance, not noticing your comment.
You snap your fingers in his face, and he snaps back to reality. "What do you know about Lola Bunny?" The hare begins to drift off again, but you snap him back to reality. "Ah, yes. Lola. She was in the group directly after mine."
"And Max?" You prod while you still have his attention. "Max? He was in a group with two different Bunnies." The hare drifts off again. "Tea?" He offers.
You sigh. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Max | Mood: Sheepish
You approach your next suspect with caution. "What's got you down, kid?" He whimpers back. "I want my toy truck." You snap, and your assistant comes scurrying with the toy truck. "Are you happy now, kid?" The kid grins. "M-hmm."
"Tell me what you know about the March Hare," you gently prod. "He was in the only group with at least two Bunnies," he says nonchalantly while playing with his truck.
You make note of the previous while asking, "and how about Mr. Bun?" Max still plays with his truck. "He was in the only group with no Bunnies at all."
You pat the kid on the back. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Mr. Bun | Mood: Quiet
"How are you doing today, Mr. Bun?" You ask as you approach. "Good? Good. Let me ask you a few questions."
"What do you know about Max?" A silent pause goes by. "He wasn't in a group with Ruby? Interesting, interesting. And probably for the better."
"How about Mr. Whiskers?" Another silent pause. "He was in a group with two other Rabbits? I could have guessed that one by now," you grumble.
You share a final silent pause. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Mr. Whiskers | Mood: Moronic, if that counts as a mood
You peer through squinted eyes at the moronic grin on your next suspect. This is gonna be fun, you think to yourself. Time for bad cop.
Cracking your knuckles, you stare intently at Mr. Whiskers. "Tell me, boy, what do you know about Mr. Bun?" You turn away, then whip back towards him. "And don't you lie to me, boy." The boy just chuckles. "Mr. Bun was in a group with two other Rabbits!"
Groaning in frustration, you grab the bunny by his collar and yank him to where your foreheads are touching. "And what do you know about the Nesquik Bunny?" You bark. The bunny maintains his stupid grin. "He was in the first group of the day!"
You let go of the bunny's shirt in disgust. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Nesquik Bunny | Mood: Obscenely hyper
"I'm cuckoo for Nesquik!" The bunny exclaims as you approach. You squint. "Isn't it 'I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?'" The bunny shrugs. "I was just tryin' it on for size."
Shaking your head, you continue. "What do you know about Mr. Whiskers?" The Nesquik Bunny muses, "Ba-da-ba-ba-ba...I'm lovin' Nesquik! Uh, yeah, he was in my group."
Halfheartedly, you continue. "And what about Peppy Hare?" The Nesquik Bunny thinks for a second. "Nesquik! It gives you wings! Hrm...he was in a group with Uncle Wiggily."
You move on before he can try out another slogan on you. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Peppy Hare | Mood: Wise but wary
You smirk as you approach the next suspect. "Hey, Peppy! Do a barr--" He cuts you off. "Don't you freakin' say it, man. I swear to God, you better not say it."
"--el roll," you whisper under your breath. Clearing your throat, you ask in a booming voice, "What do you know about the Nesquik Bunny?" Peppy replies, "Yeah, he was in a group with two other Rabbits." You groan. "I swear, the next time I hear that, I'm gonna smack whoever said it."
"And what about Peter Cottontail?" Peppy thinks for a moment, then says, "Yeah, he was in a group with t--er, he was in a group with Br'er Rabbit."
You glare, then move on. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Peter Cottontail | Mood: Sick of answering the same darn question over and over
You approach your next suspect inquisitively. "Say, do you have any relation to Peter Rabbit?" The bunny groans. "NO, I don't." You shake your head. "No, I'm pretty sure you guys are the same." The bunny groans even louder. "For the last time, I'm NOT Peter Rabbit! Get it through your thick skull!" You fail to accept it. "Whaaaatever."
"How about Peppy Hare?" Peter spits back, "No, he's not Peter Rabbit, either." You correct him. "I mean what do you know about him, smart-alec?" He looks down, foolishly. "Oh. Well, I know he was in the second group of the day."
You nod. "And how about Playboy Bunny?" Peter thinks, then says, "I'm pretty sure he was in the fourth group of the day." You shake your head. "No, I mean is he Peter Rabbit?"
You grin as Peter glowers at you. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Playboy Bunny | Mood: Not as flirtatious as you hoped
You approach the next suspect excitedly, but are dismayed to see an actual bunny standing there. Well, at least he's a bunny with a bow tie, you reason. That's pretty cool.
"What do you know about Peter Cottontail?" You ask, clearing your throat. "Well, he was in a group with White Rabbit," the Playboy Bunny responds.
"And how about Rabbit?" You continue. "He wasn't the only Rabbit in his group," the Playboy Bunny answers.
Masking your disappointment, you nod. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Rabbit | Mood: Obsessive-compulsive
As you approach your next suspect, he reaches out towards your neck. Defensively, you swat his arm away. "What are you doing, man!?" You exclaim in confusion. The Rabbit scratches his arm and twitched. "Your tie. It's not straight." You look down and adjust your tie. "Oh. Thanks."
As he breathes a sigh of relief, you ask, "What do you know about Playboy Bunny?" Rabbit responds, "Oh, he was in my group. A real stand-up guy, that's for sure." You frown.
"How about Rabbit of Caerbannog?" You continue. "Yes, he was in the second group. I do what I can to avoid him," Rabbit shudders. "Why? He's so cute!" You retort, but Rabbit just shakes his head.
You readjust your tie. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Rabbit of Caerbannog | Mood:
BloodthirstyAdorable and fluffy!
You approach your next suspect. "What a cute little rabbit!" You say as you pet him on the head. He eyes your jugular.
"Do you know anything about Rabbit?" You ask, still petting. The rabbit chomps down on your hand, leaving two distinct bite marks. "Ow!" You scream, then you study the marks. "Oh, I see. Rabbit was in a group with Bunnicula. Thanks!"
Continuing to pet the bunny, you ask, "What can you tell me about Reader Rabbit?" The bunny turns away from you, moving its head out from under your hand. "I get it, you're saying that Reader Rabbit was in the group directly after yours. Your such a helpful bunny!"
You give the rabbit one last pat on the head. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Reader Rabbit | Mood: Annoyingly educational
"Quick, four plus three!" You're greeted with as you approach the rabbit. "Spell 'sandcastle'! How many sides does an octagon have?" You spit on the ground.
Rather than answering his questions, you ask one of your own. "What do you know about the Rabbit of Caerbannog?" Reader Rabbit shudders. "Well, I know he wasn't in my group, luckily. He also wasn't in Uncle Wiggily's group."
Before he can ask any more questions, you ask another. "And what do you know about Ruby?" He smiles this time. "She was in my group! She's so nice -- and she's really smart, too!"
You spend a moment calculating. "Forty-three. S-A-N-D-C-A-S-S-E-L. Trick question, it has no sides." You smile smugly. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Ruby | Mood: Smart, attractive(?), competitive, curious, and responsible
You approach the next suspect with a smile. What an adorable little girl, you think to yourself. Time for good cop.
"Hey, sweetie," You say in a poorly masked gruff voice. "Can I get you anything?" She shakes her head. "No, I'm okay." You nod in understanding. "Well, let me ask you a couple questions. What do you know about Reader Rabbit?" She smirks. "Well, I know for sure he wasn't in a group with Br'er Rabbit or with Rabbit of Caerbannog -- he's terrified of both!"
You smile. "Thanks, that's very helpful. How about Trix Rabbit?" She smirks again. "Well, I know he wasn't the only Rabbit in his group -- he's always complaining about how some other Rabbit tries to take control!"
You smile again and awkwardly pat her on the head. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Trix Rabbit | Mood: Absolutely starving
"Hey, I heard you ask Ruby if she needs anything," your next suspect says as you approach. "Can you get me some food?" You look at the bony, pale rabbit. "I get it. You want drugs, don't you? You're one of those addicts, aren't ya?" You sneer. "I got you all figured out."
"No, I --" He starts, but you cut him off. "No drugs for you today, my friend. Now tell me what you know about Ruby." He sighs. "She was in a group with two other rabbits." You let out a grunt of frustration. "That's it!" You exclaim, as you smack him across the face. He whimpers.
"Now tell me about Uncle Wiggily!" You yell. "Okay, okay," he mumbles. "He was in a group with exactly one Rabbit."
A pang of regret hits you. You snap your fingers and your assistant comes running with a bowl of cereal. The rabbit excitedly snags it, then disappointedly mumbles, "Oh. Plain Cheerios." You smile. "You're welcome," you say, not noticing his disappointment. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Uncle Wiggily | Mood: Dead, dead, dead
As you approach your next suspect, you spot a pile of mangled rabbit remains on the ground. "Oh, for the love of -- who put him here!?" Your assistant comes running over. "Sir, you said to arrange all the rabbits in alphabetical order!" You sigh. "No, I meant all the living -- whatever. Just...take him away so he can rest in peace."
As your assistant carries the limp body away, you grimace. "I'm sorry, old chap. Thank you for your time."
Suspect: Velveteen Rabbit | Mood: Velveteen, whatever that means
You approach your next suspect somberly. He stares somberly back. The two of you share a somber moment of silence together before you begin your questioning.
"What did you know about Uncle Wiggily?" You ask. The rabbit responds, "He was in the group directly before mine." You nod in understanding.
"And what about the White Rabbit?" He thinks for a moment. "Yeah, I'm positive he was in the first group of the day."
You share another somber moment of silence before you move on. "Thank you for your time."
Suspect: White Rabbit | Mood: Annoyingly dutiful
You pace up to your last suspect. "So, I hear your a man who enjoys a nice Rabbit Hole once in awhile." He shakes his head. "Not this one, not now, not ever. This one is far too deep." You spit on the ground.
"Tell me what you know about the Velveteen Rabbit," you snarl. The White Rabbit fumbles with his words. "Well, he...he was in the only group with at least...at least two bunnies."
Anxious to finish, you continue. Peering all the way back to the front of the line, you ask, "And what about this Br'er Rabbit character? What do you know about him?" Still fumbling, the White Rabbit responds, "He...he and I were the only...the only two babbits, I mean rabbits, in our group."
You let out a thankful sigh. "Thank you for your time."
After interrogating all the suspects, you walk around to face the entire line. "Well, you all did what you could to help -- or at least most of you did. A few of you were lyin' through your teeth, but that's okay. I've got you all figured out. Witnesses, don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. I know who the killer is." You pull out a pair of handcuffs, and walk over to one of the suspects, firmly cuffing his/her hands behind his/her back. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The rest of the suspects let out a cheer, but you cut them off. "One of ya's cheerin' when ya shouldn't be," you say menacingly. You beckon your assistant over, and point to a suspect. "There's the carrot thief. Book him." Your assistant hurries over to that suspect and cuffs him, bringing him over to you. You smile triumphantly.
"Okay, now you can cheer."
A cheer erupts from amongst the remaining crowd.
Who was the killer, who were the witnesses, and who's been stealing the carrots?
Note: I apologize in advance if any of the logic is wrong. I checked it as best as I could, but something might have slipped through the cracks. If anyone notices anything wrong, I'll fix it as soon as I can.