Jason Baker(from Sci-fi and Fantasy SE) was kidnapped, and is in a cell where he cannot discern dislocation. His kidnapper, who has a fondness for exclamation marks, left him a very long, confusing note:
Hahaha!!!! This is what you get for know so much about Tolkien, captured in a cell in the middle of nowhere!! Solve this riddle! If you do, you will know what your, well, torture ail bee if you don't. Ta!(This is only for flavor)
Are you in over your head?
Are you in water so deep you're drowning?
Don't blame it on the sunshine,
Just remember your ABC's
Now go back to the roots.
Primarily, take what you get,
Break it up and regroup slightly differently.
Have you got a nice little dessert? Use what's left over.
Next up, use what is primary-
Yet not in the same way as before-
From your roots(which are slightly different now),
A nice ole line for y'all.
I wish there was another you, another way,
'Cause you got me in chains
Though you are, you are, you are, my freedom
I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly.
Hands up, when the music drops, we both put our hands up.
And I'm gonna swing from the chandelier.
So wake me up when it's all over
'Cause I wanna be your left hand man.
Next, gather the same ingredients as before,
and take the last of the first(or the first of the last?) among them.
Probably the latter.
If they don't stand for something, they will fall for anything(side note, this one's a bit ambiguous, probably others as well. This is not part of the clue)
Though the best things in life are not things.
So go instead there is not path and leave a trail.
Without music, life would be a mistake,
And though all stories are true, some never happened
You should be yourself, everybody else is already taken.
Now everything is in order,
but wait right there!
It's the water, not the sky. Ironically.
P.S., you know the computer? If you use it, then you must solve this riddle for the password.
This goes for you Puzzler too. Here it is:
It's been a long day, Hedwig. When I'm gone, I'll throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Solve like the second section of the clue.
Now, when Jason finally figured out the password, he posted it on Puzzling, of course. After that, he couldn't post anything, or send out signals. Just watch the answers and comments come in. The computer started a timer when he logged on, from one week. Can you save him from the torture?
Hint to get rid of ambiguity in the second line of stanza seven:
Americans are just realizing it.
Another hint to get y'all started
Primarily, hm?? Where can you get numbers from?
Edited to add the trivia tag. Now that I think of it, it is extremely relevant. Lots of trivia (or googling) necessary.