I had a wonderful crossword all prepared for you.
But... you suck. >:( So I'm just going to tell you about it.
It was an 8-by-8 American-style grid with white and black squares, 180° rotationally symmetric. All the words contained at least two letters, and each white square belonged to exactly two words, one across, one down. All the whites were connected to each other, and the clues were numbered in the standard American style.
I even had the clues all ready to go.
$1$. edible Greek letter?
$6$. collector of taxes (abbr.)
$12$. The ______ Limits (TV show)
$14$. stunted breaths
$16$. machine smarts (abbr.)
$21$. Blanc or Gibson
$22$. not quite a disco stud
$4$. dictatorial car manufacturer?
$10$. test of character
$12$. no-____ ("do nothing" in computer jargon)
$20$. Et ____, Bruté?
What's that? Some of the clues are missing? That must be because you're such a big jerk.
Here you go, cuddles. A few of the missing clues:
$\square$. a timed spasm?
$\square$. coroner (abbr.)
$\square$. Just Do ____!
$\square$. morning hours
But I'll chew glass before I tell you where they go.
So there you have it, bonehead. You can't tell me where the blacks and whites go on my crossword. You definitely can't tell me what letters go in the white squares. And it's inconceivable that you could solve the crossword, place the missing clues beside their proper numbers, and come up with creative clues for any left over entries.
Because if you did all of this, you'd have solved my puzzle.
And everyone knows: jerks can't solve puzzles.
Driver of the White Volvo (You Know the One!)