It’s obvious that one of my “friends” was lying to me back in March this year. Someone who knew I’d be gone stole my $1,500 laptop and my crappy old broken microwave (I probably won’t ask for that one back).
I dug up this old chat log, hopefully you can tell me who’s full of it and who isn’t. You can assume only one person is/is aiding the thief, and everyone has perfect memory. Multiple backstabbers might just be too much for my fragile heart to handle.
4:11 PM <Curmudgeon> opened chat. 4:11 PM <Curmudgeon> joined chat. 4:11 PM <Alice> joined chat. 4:12 PM <Curmudgeon>: hey alice 4:12 PM <Alice>: hey, just back from your month in europe? 4:12 PM <Curmudgeoon>: a week ago, yeah, glad to be back in 'murica 4:12 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY> joined chat. 4:13 PM <Alice>: sam, st patricks is tomorrow 4:13 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: no **** alice im getting stoked early 4:14 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: dude why we here anyway 4:15 PM <Curmudgeon>: Wait until everyone gets here. 4:16 PM <snek> joined chat. 4:16 PM <snek>: ssss 4:17 PM <Alice>: hey scott how was europe with curmudgeon 4:18 PM <snek>: o didnt you hear? i had to stay home sick 4:18 PM <snek>: got ******* food poisoning like 2 days before the flight 4:18 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: sucks to suck 4:19 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: wheres john? 4:19 PM <snek>: said he’d be late, had a meeting or some **** 4:24 PM <Johnny> joined chat. 4:25 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: there he is, hurry up so my gf can paint me green 4:26 PM <Curmudgeon>: okay guys, this might be a little uncomfortable, but I need you to answer honestly. I’m not going to sue or anything 4:26 PM <Johnny>: **** whats going on? 4:26 PM <snek>: hush up and listen john 4:27 PM <Curmudgeon>: exactly one month ago, someone who knew my garage code got into my house and stole my laptop and microwave. 4:27 PM <Alice>: you seriously think any of us would do that? wtf 4:28 PM <Curmudgeon>: I wouldn’t be doing this if there weren’t a simple solution. since the culprit conveniently knocked over and broke my clock, which still displayed the date and time when I got home. I want all of you to tell me where you were at noon a month ago. 4:29 PM <Johnny>: were supposed to remember? i dont remember where i was 5 hours ago man 4:29 PM <Curmudgeon> Well thankfully, that was the day I called you all to see how you were doing, so you should have no trouble remembering. 4:30 PM <snek>: oh right, thats easy. i was still weak from the food poisoning and you called when i was mustering up the energy to go visit my man johnny 4:30 PM <snek>: i was probably at his house by noon 4:31 PM <Johnny>: you were, cause dude called me right before you got there and i told him to shove off 4:31 PM <Curmudgeon>: can confirm, was told to shove off 4:31 PM <Alice>: you called me while i was driving. 4:31 PM <Curmudgeon>: yeah, i remember the roaring of the car when i called actually, it was hard to hear you 4:32 PM <Alice>: was definitely still out around noon, since i grabbed a bite to eat 4:32 PM <Alice>: i woke up, got ready, visited my grandma on one side of town, then back across to the post office to get stamps and mail a birthday card 4:32 PM <Curmudgeon>: thanks. what about you sam? 4:33 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: your call actually woke me up, after noon. i was asleep, man 4:33 PM <Curmudgeon>: oh yeah, i remember that actually. sorry about that 4:34 PM <Johnny>: hey man, i saw sam that day around, walking down our street with his gf! dont bs me 4:34 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: even if thats true, we dont live anywhere near curmudgeon, which means it couldnt have been me 4:35 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: and while were on the topic, i know you werent with scott 4:35 PM <snek>: shut up sam 4:36 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: he was with my gfs friend becca, probably stealing your microwave 4:37 PM <Johnny>: she doesnt live anywhere near him either and you know it 4:37 PM <snek>: fine sam, i made it up since my real alibi is so stupid. i was sound asleep at noon, i conked out right after i hung up with curmudgeon 4:38 PM <Johnny>: ya sorry, wouldnt have lied but i had to cover for this bumbling idiot 4:39 PM <ST_PATTYS_DAY>: idiots 4:39 PM <Curmudgeon>: no, no guys, it’s okay, i believe all of you. was probably just somebody who watched me punch in the code sometime, it’s no big deal 4:40 PM <Curmudgeon>: see you guys 4:40 PM <Curmudgeon> closed chat.
So maybe I’m a bit of an overbearing friend, but can you tell me if it paid off? Someone must have a contradiction in their story. Who’s lying? (There is a definitive answer, so don’t be too quick to flag this as "too broad" ye-who-likes-to-flag!)