(semi-interactive puzzle)
BRIIING! BRIIING! BRIIING!
You wake up with a start. It's 6:30... already!? Darn. You roll slowly out of bed, preparing for the day ahead.
Whatever preparing you did then was really inadequate to prepare you for what came next. Not even close!
After taking a shower and eating a surely-nutritious breakfast, you make your way to the door. As you extend your hand to the doorknob to open said door, you see a shadowy blur heading to the door. Recognizing that the object wouldn't stop kindly and ring the doorbell before entering your house (so rude!), you dive backwards; the door explodes into lots of pieces, and the object comes to rest a foot or two away from your feet.
Who on this good earth would do that...?! You rush to the door to see if you could find the perpetrator; nothing! You proceed to pick up and examine the object, placing it on the nearest table.
It is a large package! As much is obvious. No outer markings. You make to open the package; doing so reveals another package, and another until you have 10 such package wrappings. (A package in a package in a package...) At the end of this package chain, there is a small envelope.
Puzzle 1
***holes! Who the heck would use this much packaging to wrap a package?!!??! You think to yourself. An image of a vexed Al Gore flashes in your head before you open the envelope. It reads thus:
Dear [name]:
So sorry to wake you up so early. At least, we apologize for you having to get up so early. Apologies are very important!! We LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the length of our apologies--they are also very important! You're important to us. Unless you fail... heh.
You have been invited. In order to show your worth, we will not tell you where, but, rather, we will give you a puzzle.--
At this point, you nod your head, forgetting your former frustration. I am a great puzzle-solver! You continue reading.
--To find this puzzle--your invitation--you must first and foremost solve the puzzle on the back of this sheet.
You eagerly flip the sheet around. On it, is written thus:
A fisher is hungry for a large sum of fish, so he decides to fish for some fish. In his local pond, there are three types of fish: small fish, which weigh 5 units; medium fish, which weigh 25 units; and large fish, which weigh 125 units. The farmer catches 35 fish. Of the fish that the fisher caught, $m$ were small fish, $2m$ were medium fish, and $q$ were large fish. The combined amount of small fish and medium fish is $5m$ less than the $\blacksquare$ root of the amount of the large fish. How many large fish ($q$) did the fisher catch?
You sit down, perplexed. This isn't a riddle! This is poppycock! There is not enough information, and--! You stare at the paper. That's when it hit you...almost. Something's there, you're not entirely sure what, however.
Indeed, you ask yourself: “What is the value of $\mathbf{q}$??”
Hint 1
When the puzzle tells you something is important, you should listen to it. The puzzle is inclusive of the entire letter.
Hint 2
The entire second line is the apology.
Apology & Hint 3
It seems that a crucial part has been tampered with, by the displaying of the, erm, apology in the second line.
Do now look at it again; perhaps you will understand...
More story; to be read after solving Puzzle 1; (Answer in below story text; is therefore spoiler-marked.)
“$q=256$!” you shout out loud. “That took long enough! I don't even know what an apology is, anymore...”
(Solver: @Chadi Abou Sleiman. *Solution**.)
You hear a high-pitched whistle and instinctively cover your ears. Gah! What is that!? The whistle then ends, and outside, a man peers through your door intently. “Hello, there,” he says to you.
“What the 'ell do you want?!” you practically shout.
“It is not what I want that concerns me. As it seems, you have solved the puzzle.”
“Some puzzle! Who would think to look in the apology for the net amount caught?!” At this point, you are letting out your vexation on the (poor) man.
“We did make it plain that it was crucial to the puzzle's solution. That is beside the point, however. Now, I extend to you the opportunity to acquire an invitation.”
“But the letter said—”
“I did not see the letter—only the apology. Ergo, I do not heed else instruction. So, do you wish to acquire the invitation, or shall I put this pitiful abode to my back and forget about you?” The man looks at you expectantly, as if you really had no choice.
You sigh. “Alright, then. I'll go for it. What do I have to do?”
Puzzle 2
“Here ya go,” the man says matter-of-factly to you, handing to you another sheaf of paper. On it is written thus:
The best of the best! Your home contains the answer. For in it, you'll find five children, children of a great number; well-rounded children. You'll take the best of the children (make sure you have five!) and add them up.
After reading the text, you look up to the man. He says, “Tell me the number when you're done. Do you have a seat I could use?”
“Erm... yes. Please, come in. Take a seat—any seat,” you say as you take your own seat, staring at the next in the series of cryptic puzzles. What is the final value...?
Hint 1
'Your home' refers to the home in which we all dwell... you, me, and al'thor... everyone you know here.
(moar story) Your visitor turns to you. “Times 'a tickin'!” he says to you, smiling vexatiously.
“This is timed!?” You shout. You hadn't known that there was a timer going!
“Why, yes! You must solve it soon—I'm rather tired... if you get my drift.” The visitor stands, bows mockingly, and continues to sit. As if an annoying ##### like him deserves to sit down even on a porcupine! you think to yourself, but soon, your mind drifts elsewhere. The solution... I don't get it—
“420!” you shout once again. You turn to your visitor, who stares at you, mouth agape. (Solver: @rand al'thor. Solution)
The visitor fumbles with his words. “B-But you weren't supposed to...” He inhales deeply and regains composure. “Very well. It seems as if you will be receiving the invitation. So, here it is:” At this point, you receive another letter.
Dear [name],
It was in the unlikely event that you should receive this letter; then again, if you completed the last puzzle, you must be surrounded with people who might be good at this type of thing. This does tell me, however, that you are indeed worthy of attending.
This letter is an invitation, of which you must bring to the event. It will occur on [date not-so-long-away] at [obscure location in a wealthy neighbourhood]. I do expect your presence there,
truly yours,
Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$.
“Huh!” You exclaim. “What a chance!”. Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$ is one of the wealthiest citizens in your country and is famous (or infamous, according to others) for his puzzle-books. He is a recluse, and hardly a soul has seen him, much less gotten to know him, save his closest associates. A thought briefly flashes through your mind before it slowly sinks into your subconscious. This thought was that ever since its foundation, the Puzzling SE has been loathed by Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$. Your visitor extends his hand to you, and you take and shake it. It is settled! You're going.
(Later, on aforementioned date at aforementioned location) You are dressed in your best formal attire. You have a nice pair of shoes. You brushed your teeth. You combed your hair. You are one fashionable-lookin' person as you walk into the luxurious hall of the grand house. In it, you see a few others milling about, observing the hall. You also look around, trying to find a familiar face or two.
In the hall, you find no such face; only strangers of whom you have never seen. At once, a man steps into the hall and shouts, “The doors are now closed!” Upon him saying this, all the doors (and windows and any other chance of escape) closes, and the hall is effectively sealed. Some of the people in the hall attempt to pry open certain windows and doors, but to no avail. The rest of your remain in close attention to the new guest to the room.
“What is it that you want from us?” one of the guests growls. More shouts of complaint arise from the crowd. “Who the hell are you?” shouts another voice. The man raises his hands, and all fall silent in a few moments.
“I am Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$. You are here tonight because of your prowess and superiority to others in the realms of puzzle-solving. Now, I give you a final dichotomy, of which you must either accept or refuse very soon. That is this: you will either work for me, or you won't. Choose quickly.”
At once, a few of the voices speak up in “Yes”s confirmation. These people walk forward to Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$, who signals them behind him. You, however, are smarter than that and know of the terrible living conditions of which those who go to work for him.
The person who first complained says no defiantly. Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$ glares at him. “You have sealed your fate.” Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$ then brandishes a pistol and fires two shots. There is one less person in the hall.
Instantly, a mass of people surges behind Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$ in allegiance. Only you and a few others remain. The remaining people, in a moment of indecision, fail to answer.
“Then, I guess you few cannot decide. I will give you one day. Until then... sleep tight!” He and his new workers withdraw through the last remaining door which closes behind them, and all is dark and quiet.
Moments later, a dim bulb flickers amongst the visitors remaining. As it turns out, said a person had brought a flashlight (in case of an emergency), perfect for such an emergency as this. He introduces himself as Robert.
What seems like an eternity later, the door opens, and a sliver of light is let in, and in steps Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$. “Listen up. You must make your choice now. But, you being puzzlers (and persistent ones, at that!) are now offered a choice of freedom. You must solve the puzzle I give to you. But here's the catch: If you cannot solve it in one days time, you will be forced to work for me. Don't pretend that you can escape through law and justice—money trumps both. Good luck.” Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$ again leaves the room, and what remains is your puzzle.
(TL;DR) You've been captured. Solve the puzzle or else suffer a horrendous fate.
Puzzle 3
There is among the pile the following items:
- A letter.
- A gun, with bullets sufficient for each one of the people remaining, of which there are 6. Each bullet is numbered, $1$ through $6$.
- A box, with a bullet-shaped hole. Is a little larger than the size of a bullet, and seems like it could carry one.
On the letter is written:
Oh, let me tell you the tale!
'Tis a tale of woe.
Surely, you must fail!
Now, go go go g.o!
Now that I know you, am like yo.u,
you never seem to help.
With you, it's like one step forward.s
and two steps bac.k.
I climbed the stairs
until I stood at the top
and counted the stairs I too.k
and threw them at yo.u.
You fell down to the ground,
I smiled with glee.
Then, to my surprise,
you pulled me down below yo.u!
Then I remember the times,
when we danced around the squar.e,
I dropped two penny down the wel.l.
You dropped half of the pennies lef.t.
Now there's half of me left on the floo.r,
The other was poured out for you.
Now, take a bullet! Take one only.
Shoot me!
(This is the last part. Good luck!)
Hint 1a: Out of frustration, you turn the letter over. On it is written:
Sulp 48! IT!!!!!!! I'm so backwards, haha!
“What on earth....?”
Hint 1b:
Backwards... Backwards... Oh...! Reversing the text of the back, you get: !!!!!!!TI !84 pluS, the name of a commonly-known calculator. Then, perhaps, the solution will have to do with numbers...
Hint 1c:
In the end, you will need put a bullet inside the box-thingy. Since these bullets are numbered, you must figure out exactly which bullet to put in the box.
Hint 2:
Certain lines in the poem are instructions.
Epilogue
You hear a loud KNOCK on the door. But this time, you are prepared. The door swings open at a tediously slow rate; your heart races.
You have the second bullet in the bullet-shaped chamber, as per request of one of the puzzlers stuck in the room (Solver: Nefer007)
Suddenly, the person who told you to choose the second bullet loads said bullet in the gun. What are you doing?! You think. He aims the gun at the door, and...
“Ah hah! I see you haven't solve the puzzle! I guess that means you must—” You will never know what exactly Mr. $\Delta\Sigma\Upsilon$ was going to say, for at that moment the puzzler squeezes the trigger and KA-BOOM! the bullet enters and exits the fiend, and with a solid thump, he lays still on the ground.
A moments silence ensues. Soon, the entire mansion erupts with happy cheering. With rapt glee, puzzlers and workers alike flow from the doors of the mansion. After a while, only a few puzzlers remain.
These puzzlers introduce themselves to you. The first introduces themselves as Chadi Abou Sleiman, and shakes your hand. “I should get back home, I was working on a project for Android, you know how it is.” Smiling, the person departs.
The second introduces himself only as rand al'thor. “This was fun! I'm sort of sad that it's over, now...” After a pause, “Well, maybe not. See you around, maybe!” He then departs.
The last puzzler introduces himself as (first) the man who shot the fiend, and (second) as Nefer. “He was going to kill us anyways. Or enslave us. Besides, he was a bastard, and all bastards gotta die.” He winks, and leaves, walking through the doors with confidence.
And then, it is just you in the empty hall. You hear a sink running in the mansion. Then, it dawns on you: Who is to own this house...! You gather the bullets into your pocket, claim the second bullet from the late owner of the mansion, and head towards the nearest housing agency.
LATER
You sit at your new home: the beautiful mansion. You're loaded. You split all the cash you found in your house equally amongst the puzzlers who were there, and you're still loaded. You found out that, if you had chosen the wrong bullet, it would have done nothing, is made of a flimsy pseudo-metal that would have been incinerated in the chamber of the gun.
You sigh. What to do... You take out your laptop, and log on to a familiar puzzling site. You click on a puzzle. What fun!
This is a test run of the semi-interactive puzzle type. Make sure to read about semi-interactive puzzles in the link at the top of the question.
"Well-rounded" means we round the numbers of votes say to the nearest 10 (this is a good idea since those numbers are going to change over time). Then the top 5 questions have scores of 110, 80, 80, 75 (let's say round this up), and 70. The total is 420, the final answer (coincidentally the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything with an extra 0 on the end).
