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I have no brothers or sisters, but I have many dolls.

I'm always watching my mother, and my cousins all think I'm fat.

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    $\begingroup$ The first baby of someone? $\endgroup$
    – Spikatrix
    Commented May 11, 2015 at 7:53
  • $\begingroup$ No. The cousins, mother, and lack of siblings, are all a metaphorical family for an actual (non human) heirarchy. $\endgroup$
    – nothingtoseeherelookoverthere
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 2:44
  • $\begingroup$ Do the cousins have dolls? $\endgroup$
    – I.devries
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 8:28
  • $\begingroup$ I.devries, they do not. I only have dolls, because I have a special mother. $\endgroup$
    – nothingtoseeherelookoverthere
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 16:24
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    $\begingroup$ There are moons larger than the Moon. $\endgroup$
    – pacoverflow
    Commented May 13, 2015 at 5:01

7 Answers 7

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I think you are

The moon

I have no brothers or sisters, but I have many dolls.

The moon is the only natural satellite of earth, but there are many man made satellites orbiting the Earth with it.

I'm always watching my mother

Tidal lock.

And my cousins think I'm fat.

Maybe the stars? Cousins in the fact that they are visible in the night sky, but not made of the same stuff. The moon is fat because (even though the stars are physically larger) it appears far larger than them to someone standing on earth. Or maybe because it is made of cheese.

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  • $\begingroup$ Correct. However you got the last clue wrong. "Cousin" is used naively here, as in, children of parent's siblings (It doesn't mean just loosely related). $\endgroup$
    – nothingtoseeherelookoverthere
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 20:44
  • $\begingroup$ So the moons of other planets? $\endgroup$
    – Root Vegetable
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 20:46
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You are a

Babushka doll

I have no brothers or sisters, but I have many dolls.

The Babushka doll is composed of many layered dolls

I'm always watching my mother...

Every doll is facing the doll that encloses them

...and my cousins all think I'm fat.

Every doll gets bigger as you go out

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    $\begingroup$ I may be over-thinking but if your answer is correct then why "cousins" but not "daughters" or "offspring"? $\endgroup$
    – user12205
    Commented May 11, 2015 at 4:53
  • $\begingroup$ I think by cousins he means other dolls (like Barbie), not the Babushka doll. $\endgroup$
    – Zikato
    Commented May 11, 2015 at 6:34
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    $\begingroup$ It's called a Matroshka doll, not Babushka (which means grandmother). But +1 anyway :-) $\endgroup$
    – Rand al'Thor
    Commented May 11, 2015 at 8:44
  • $\begingroup$ Ha, this is a great answer, but no. (I tired to upvote, but not enough rep :/) Ace's suspicion is correct, the cousin metaphore is perfectly consistent with the mother and no siblings metaphores. $\endgroup$
    – nothingtoseeherelookoverthere
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 2:39
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Are you..

Ganymede ?

I have no brothers or sisters,

Jupiter's moons, including Ganymede, were all most likely captured from solar orbits

But I have many dolls.

Several Jupiter-bound spacecraft have been able to observe Ganymede

I'm always watching my mother,

Ganymede is in a synchronous rotation, similar to the Moon

and my cousins all think I'm fat.

Ganymede is the largest moon in the solar system

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Are you

Jupiter?

I have no brothers or sisters, but I have many dolls.

The 60+ moons of Jupiter

I'm always watching my mother...

The sun

...and my cousins all think I'm fat.

Jupiter is big! The cousins are the other planets.

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  • $\begingroup$ Nope, if the sun were the mother, then the other planets would be siblings, not cousins $\endgroup$
    – nothingtoseeherelookoverthere
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 16:21
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Are you

A creepy serial killer with a particular family history?

I have no brothers or sisters, but I have many dolls.

You are a single child who received inadequate affection from your single mother and turned to a doll collection as an alternative sense of warmth. It is a hollow love, though, given by porcelain souls. Many are broken in places but still stare out at you from the darkness within their skull, their one good eye unblinking in its judgement.

I'm always watching my mother...

Your mother was your first victim and her remains are propped up in a basement chair. She is surrounded by the dolls and, as their souls are really just pieces of your own, she is always watched by you through them.

...and my cousins all think I'm fat.

You actually are slightly overweight and the few cousins you knew have teased you about it your entire life, further isolating you from happiness. They are all part of your collection now, too. Many dolls have been patched up by replacing their broken pieces with chunks of your cousins. A patch of scalp here, a sliver of heart there.

Of course,

You are happier now. You have your whole family with you. All the time. Always watching. Always. Watching.

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  • $\begingroup$ There was a guy in Russia who stole corpses and dressed them up like women, storing them in his apartment. I think he ended up with 29 corpse-dolls before he was caught. You know, if you wanted to make your answer even a bit creepier. $\endgroup$
    – Bailey M
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 15:57
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    $\begingroup$ @BaileyM Anatoly Moskvin dug up girls' corpses and dressed them up to hold birthday parties. He is thought to have dug up at least 150. He just didn't still have them all when his parents visited and found out what he was doing. Yes, that is certainly creepier. $\endgroup$
    – Engineer Toast
    Commented May 12, 2015 at 16:03
  • $\begingroup$ This answer entertained me muchly. Well done. $\endgroup$
    – LaniKate
    Commented Feb 28, 2017 at 4:14
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Probably not what you had in mind, but it can match pretty well.

Are you:

Microsoft Windows Operating System

I have no brothers or sisters,

Windows has no brothers or sisters (but children [XP, vista, 7 etc] and cousins [Unix/OSX])

but I have many dolls.

Windows can have many 'dolls' of itself (i.e premium, ultimate, home, workplace)

I'm always watching my mother,

Windows is always watching/incorporating an aspect of it's 'mother' MS-DOS/Command Prompt (however windows itself is often much different from its previous generations in many other aspects)

and my cousins all think I'm fat.

It's Unix cousins would think Windows OS is 'fat' because of how much more space it required for basic installation(30+ GB). (Where as Unix can be under 1GB)

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Cinderella

I have no brothers or sisters, but I have many dolls.

She had no brothers or sisters , only stepsisters. Dolls- not sure.

I'm always watching my mother, and my cousins all think I'm fat.

Always watching her fairy godmother who helps her .Her stepsisters were jealous of her and might amount to thinking that she was fat.

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