I am your cup of coffee
The Java logo is a cup of coffee. Also, java is a type of coffee.
Applicable for anyone
The Java Virtual Machine is available on a wide range of platforms.
I am very objective
In Java, objects are king. In earlier implementations of the language, there were no primitive data types, and literally everything, including integers, was an object.
I came from the sun
Java is a product of Sun Microsystems, although nowadays it's owned by Oracle.
After drinking me you'll be very active
After drinking java the coffee, you'll be on high alert for a while.
and one of the intents of Java (1.2.4 in this document) was that people who used it would have high performance.
You can take me anywhere
As above, since Java is available on so many platforms, including mobile platforms (in fact, it's the primary language used to program for the Android operating system), you can literally take it anywhere you go.
There's no garbage with me
Java has automatic garbage collection, unlike languages with completely manual memory management like C.
Simplicity is so fair
I... honestly can't explain this one. Unless you think Java is a very simple and fair language, in which case my bias from working with it for a year in CS class is going to kick in and say that that last line is patently false.
Apparently the answer is that, again, one of the intents of Java (1.2.1 here) was that the language would be simple and familiar, even if in practice it really isn't.